1 in 4 Married Couples Sleep in Separate Beds

[FlightlessDuck]

It is very rare for my wife and me to not share a bed. It usually happens if we have given up our room to guests or if my allergies are bothering me and I have to sit up to breathe.

 

[samshane]

Dh and I just got a king bed... he returned from deployment and the Queen was way too small... I was used to having all my space.

I love my Dh and he loves too - but I am a very light sleeper. When I sleep, I cannot be touched or I wake up - and after 14yrs of marriage he knows I need my sleep - LOL. We considered getting 2 doubles when we got the king (lack of space prevented it!) - we both feel like there's nothing wrong with sleeping apart. Doesn't mean you love eachother any less if you sleep in separate beds... I don't need to be held while I sleep, I am perfectly fine on my side of the bed.

 

[Nancyg56]

That is horrible to be sleeping apart from your SO.

My wife and I still snuggle up at night under the covers. 15 years of marriage.

I feel bad for couples that sleep apart. What a sad marriage they must have.

Judge much? There are tons of reasons why couples do not share a bed and sad marriages are probably a very minute percentage of those couples.

 

[JessicaR]

That is horrible to be sleeping apart from your SO.

My wife and I still snuggle up at night under the covers. 15 years of marriage.

I feel bad for couples that sleep apart. What a sad marriage they must have.

Nice a very nice reply at all. What is the point? Isn't it just as easy to say,"My wife and I still snuggle up at night under the covers. 15 years of marriage." Without insulting anyone else? The other two sentences were unnecessary and mean.
I'm sure you know that though.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

I saw this report on the Today show the other morning and I was so relieved. It meant we are somewhat normal. DH and I have different schedules but even when we had the same schedule, we wouldn't sleep together. I require totally dark conditions and white noise only (a fan is on year round) in order to go to sleep. He needs the tv on. It takes me about 45 min to an hour (on a good night, and thats with OTC sleep meds) to go to sleep and it takes him about 2 minutes. This man has fallen asleep in the living room while holding the remote to turn the channel!!! And not just once, but at least 3 or 4 times recently. It was at a point where I became concerned that he had some sort of condition.

 

[DMRick]

43 years in the same bed, except when I was off having our babies. It's a full size bed, and no need to upsize it, since we sleep close to each other and any extra space would be wasted. He has sleep apnea, and uses a machine, thank God, so my sleep is better than it has ever been, with no more snoring.

 

[mykidsand_i]

That is horrible to be sleeping apart from your SO.

My wife and I still snuggle up at night under the covers. 15 years of marriage.

I feel bad for couples that sleep apart. What a sad marriage they must have.

what a sad post...just because it works for you, doesn't mean it works for everyone...and to ASSUME that people have a 'sad marriage' because they don't sleep together? What a 'looking for trouble' statement. are you LOOKING to be flamed?
My husband and I have a WONDERFUL marriage- we've been married 10 years. He has sleeping issues- he snores REALLY BAD, he likes the room FREEZING COLD and I don't sleep well if my nose is frozen. Our marriage would be horrible if we did sleep together every night. We sleep together on weekends (THurs-Sat. nights) because we don't have to get up early with kids school/his work and with all the things we have going on- if I don't get a good nights sleep I can't function to my full potential and I get craby.

We cuddle, we spend a lot of time together and we love each other very much. There is nothing wrong with sleeping in separate rooms sometimes. Sometimes it's good for a marriage- less fighting about "YOU SNORE TOO LOUD..." I've heard MORE fights between couples about bad sleeping habits than anything else!

If he didn't snore horribly, we'd probably sleep together all nights.

 

[DMRick]

DH and I have slept apart for many years. He snores like a freight train and nothing he's ever done (sleep studies, surgery, etc) has made a difference.

A cpap machine doesn't help? Boy, my husband went from us telling him the neighbors were complaining about the noise, to blissful silence..just a smooth, quiet hum of the machine. Wish he had gotten one sooner.

 

[Anna114]

We only recently found our way back into the same bed LOL. Losing almost 80lbs between us worked wonders Since we found our way back it was a really good excuse for a new mattress OMG, I love to wake up in the morning now, it doesn't hurt anymore.

 

[KadysMom]

DH works nights so i get the whole bed to myself! He has Tuesdays and Saturdays off and when he sleeps in the bed, he takes up too much space, and i dont sleep well. I am just used to sleeping alone and I like it! We have been married for 8 years and going strong...

 

[ckay87]

That is horrible to be sleeping apart from your SO.

My wife and I still snuggle up at night under the covers. 15 years of marriage.

I feel bad for couples that sleep apart. What a sad marriage they must have.

No, a "sad marriage" is when one, or both, people are completely miserable all of the time. The type of miserable that you become when, for example, you are unable to sleep.

 

[tink1969]

A cpap machine doesn't help? Boy, my husband went from us telling him the neighbors were complaining about the noise, to blissful silence..just a smooth, quiet hum of the machine. Wish he had gotten one sooner.

A CPAP machine is a "prescribed" medical device given to someone after a sleep study has been done.
Just because you snore, doesn't mean you qualify for a CPAP machine.

 

[srferson]

I feel bad for couples that sleep apart. What a sad marriage they must have.

are you LOOKING to be flamed?

Quite possible he is.

Also possible he's just one of those people who can't put themselves in other peoples' shoes or simply thinks that his feelings are the only right feelings.
Who knows...

My husband and I sleep together, although on very rare occassions I wake up to find he's moved elsewhere to sleep because he has some sort of restless leg/arm thing going on.

At this point I don't picture sleeping apart, but who knows what the future will bring. One thing I can picture is getting a king bed next time we need a new mattress. I like sleeping next to him, but I also love space. I'm not much of a cozy cuddler type person. Plus the kitties like to take up space too.

 

[ICF]

Yes we sleep in the same bed. I couldn't imagine not.

Agreed

 

[Anna114]

That is horrible to be sleeping apart from your SO.

My wife and I still snuggle up at night under the covers. 15 years of marriage.

I feel bad for couples that sleep apart. What a sad marriage they must have.

The saddest part is that you ASSUME people who sleep separately have a sad marriage. I have a great 22 year marriage but snoring doesn't work for either of us. Perhaps you should consider your words when you make such a huge generalization.

 

[disneyfans95]

So because my view does not agree with others, does not make it rude.

I also do not get upset at the responses or feel everyone else is being rude back to me because they shared their viewpoint.

But at the end of the day, I do feel bad for couples that sleep apart and feel their marriage does suffer from it. Of course, you don't have to agree, but I stand by what I think/feel about this topic.

 

[HelenePA]

We haven't slept in the same bed since before our 2nd dd was born... we went on to have 2 children after her... sleeping in the same bed has nothing to do with our relationship. He gets up at 4:30am sometimes at 3:30am! The kids sleep in the same room as me until they sleep thru the night. I spare him from being woken up by babies.. he spares me from having to hear alarm clocks go off that early and possibly waking the baby up too...

 

[JessicaR]

So because my view does not agree with others, does not make it rude.

.

It's not your view that makes it rude. It's the words you choose to express it.

 

[mster425]

DH and I are in the same bed now. Having a king sized bed made a huge difference! When we shared a full, he was always hitting me or elbowing me (HARD) in his sleep, so I would make him go sleep in the guest room.

Since we got the King 3 years ago we've slept in it together every single night! Is our relationship better because of it? I think it's about the same, minus pompous strangers judging our lifestyle on the internet.

I don't miss that

 

[NYUBwayBaby]

My parents sleep in the same bed. My BF's parents don't. His dad sleeps upstairs in the bed and almost every time I've been over late his mom has been sleeping on the couch in the living room. She falls asleep better with background noise, and he is apparently a light sleeper. But they seem to have a good marriage.