09/16/06 Double Scoop Group- see ya real soon!!

[dzneprincess]

A funny for my fellow cruisers

POTATO PROSTITUTES

Two little potatoes are standing
on the street corner. One is a
prostitute.

How can you tell which one is the prostitute?

Hold on......


You're gonna love it...
















It's the one with the little sticker that says...

I - DA - HO
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[tinksdad]

Did he steal it? I have been playing with my kiddo...

Sorry to disappoint! Had to go to the DD's dance meeting and PU a friend. They have to be across town at the Science Olympiad tomorrow morning at 7:15am.

It's fun to see teenagers, half asleep trying to walk.......

 

[ericamanda01]

Ok "The Amanda Rule", I like the sound of that. I wonder if I can use that label for cleaning around the house with DH? So here is my contribution for your enjoyment!

Taco Bell Babe
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."

So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."

The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough."

Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."


Thank you I'll be here all night and be sure to tip your waitress!

 

[dzneprincess]

As an hispanic I should not laugh, but OMG that is tooo funny! Thanks for the morning laugh!!!!!

 

[dinnysuw]

Ok here is my DD contribution to the jokes:

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toliet?


Because he was looking for Pooh!


Here is one from my DS:

Two horses walk into a restaurant and the waiter asks..

why the long faces! (get it? they're horses and horses have long faces-this had to be explained to me by my DS-I am a little slow on the uptake I guess!)

Darcy

 

[dzneprincess]

My DS has been telling me the Tigger joke for days now! LOL

 

[dinnysuw]

anyone have any ideas on why i can't post smilies?
Darcy

 

[dinnysuw]

and does anyone know how to crop my picture?
thanks
darcy

 

[dzneprincess]

I wanted to warn you all of the new virus going around.....read on


Subject: Computer Hard and Software:
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed
itself into all other programs and now monitors all other
system>activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0,
Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the
system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend
7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help! Thanks, A
Troubled User. (KEEP READING) ______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also
impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is
impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once
installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is
designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and
work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background
application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best
course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately
you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will
return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be
very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs,
such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be
very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the
system to launch the program Nag, Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only
way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional
software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT,
under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This
application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible
damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

 

[dinnysuw]

Funny! LOL-still can't get my smilies to work, so picture the cute pink ball rolling around, here.
darcy

 

[ericamanda01]

I don't know what could be keeping you from smiling! Check with the Tech board and see if they can help. Ok So here is my inner child joke of the day:

What illness did everyone on Star Trek catch?
Chicken Spocks!

Thank you!

 

[dinnysuw]

Ok-here is a real life joke
I was discharging a patient from my ER and was giving her instructions about her diagnosis of Bronchitis, when the boyfriend chimed in.. "Brownchitis-it aint brown it's gree" I could not keep a straight face as i tried to explain to him that it is Bronchitis not Brownchitis and it has nothing to do with the color of her sputum. You know you're a Redneck.....
Keep smiling! (my smilies work on my computer at work but not at home! )
darcy

 

[ericamanda01]

Ok-here is a real life joke
I was discharging a patient from my ER and was giving her instructions about her diagnosis of Bronchitis, when the boyfriend chimed in.. "Brownchitis-it aint brown it's gree" I could not keep a straight face as i tried to explain to him that it is Bronchitis not Brownchitis and it has nothing to do with the color of her sputum. You know you're a Redneck.....
Keep smiling! (my smilies work on my computer at work but not at home! )
darcy

 

[dinnysuw]

here is another real life humor-
a girl walks into the ER with her boyfriend, her complaint:
"i want him checked to see if he is sleeping with my sister"
sad, but true!
Keep smiling!
Darcy

 

[dzneprincess]

Wow Dinny, sure sounds like you get some doozies! Geesh I can only imagine the crap that you deal with. So, you are an ER nurse?

 

[ericamanda01]

here is another real life humor-
a girl walks into the ER with her boyfriend, her complaint:
"i want him checked to see if he is sleeping with my sister"
sad, but true!
Keep smiling!
Darcy

I don't really want to know the details, but how would one go about porforming that exam?

 

[dzneprincess]

I don't really want to know the details, but how would one go about porforming that exam?

I can only imagine!!!

 

[Annae]

I haven't been posting for a week or so, I had pneumonia. Looks like you guys have been busy! My mother-in-law is an RN in the emergency room too and she has some funny stories also. It's amazing what you get there.

 

[dzneprincess]

Annae, so glad to see you posting again, and I am glad that you are feeling better! Have a great weekend!

I haven't been posting for a week or so, I had pneumonia. Looks like you guys have been busy! My mother-in-law is an RN in the emergency room too and she has some funny stories also. It's amazing what you get there.

 

[dinnysuw]

Hey Guys!
Hope everyone is doing well! Ready for another smile maker?

Got a call last night from a woman who wanted to talk to the ER doc who took care of her last week. when I ATTEMPTED (with much difficulty) to explain to her that that wouldn't be possible as I didn't know who took care of her, she said "it was the guy with the scrubs on, Doctor something or other" again I tried to explain to her that we have over 15 doctors plus various residents working in the ER and that info wouldn't help, and even if it did the doctors don't speak with patients over the phone. When I asked what it was regarding and if I could help, she said "I just want to know if I'm any better!"
I am still not convinced that it wasn't a practical joke one of my co-workers was pulling on me-it is sad to think that some people can be that goofy!
Keep smiling!
Darcy