And don't call me sweetie

[kimblebee]

Ummm, even your boyfriend couldn't call you 'Sweetie'? Would hate to run into you anywhere then, because I wouldn't know how to address you that would not offend.

Pebbles would work just fine, I imagine.

 

[Robbi]

If it's a sweet name, I don't mind. There are a lot of other not very nice words women could be called.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I never give it a second thought.

 

[Buckalew11]

My parents are from North Carolina and I grew up saying "ma'am" and "sir". I still say it without thinking even though I'm in my 40's. I don't mind being called honey or sweetheart as long as it isn't condescending. I DO mind being called "Mom" by every doctor, teacher, dentist, orthodontist, etc. that my children see. I get it that they don't know my name, but I guarantee they have my name because it is on the 700 forms they just had me fill out!

I had that once from the pediatrician. "Mom"this and "Mom" that. "Let me tell you, Mom, dogs and babies do not mix." And she was MAD. That was my first and last visit with her.

I hate any sort of pet names that people call me, had a boyfriend who called me "Sweetie"...put an end to that one. My brother's gf/person/idiot calls me "deer" (that's how she spells it when she texts me) all the time, so I interrupt her with "HUMAN". But I think I'm more bothered with it because it's usually younger people using those pet names. There is an older lady at one of the gas stations, she has a slight southern drawl and she will call everybody babydoll, sweetie, hunny, darling...and when she does it, I want nothing more than to give her a hug and make her my grandma.

I don't know what it is about the names that bothers me so much. Then again, I HATE being called ma'am, I'm barely 30, not old enough to be a ma'am yet! But I also hate when somebody will look at my ID or credit card and address me by my name. Think I'd be better off being referred to as "HEY YOU!" hahah When it comes down to it though, I really try not to make a big deal out of anything and won't try to correct somebody, I'm annoyed for that moment and then move on just as quickly.

wow.

Ummm, even your boyfriend couldn't call you 'Sweetie'? Would hate to run into you anywhere then, because I wouldn't know how to address you that would not offend.

That's what I'm thinking. One of these days I'll probably get punched in the nose for saying, "Thank you, ma'am."

 

[SumWhrOvrThRanBo]

Maybe it's a southern thing... Kentucky mama here, I call everyone babe, darling, love or sugar.

 

[PebblesMK]

Ummm, even your boyfriend couldn't call you 'Sweetie'? Would hate to run into you anywhere then, because I wouldn't know how to address you that would not offend.

I'm quite a pleasant person and don't make a huge deal out of what people call me, but I couldn't stand "sweetie" from him. He had plenty of other things he called me, most original that had special meaning...not a big deal for me not to like a certain generic term, he wasn't put off by it.

 

[PebblesMK]

Pebbles would work just fine, I imagine.

It doesn't matter what people call me. If I don't like it, i don't point it out, nor do I let it ruin my day- or my moment. It is what it is, call me what you will. I think that's how most people on here are with the pet names they don't like. They're not going to throw a fit and stomp their feet and demand somebody to correct how they address others. You can not like something and not make a big deal of it.

 

[mhsjax]

I hate any sort of pet names that people call me, had a boyfriend who called me "Sweetie"...put an end to that one. My brother's gf/person/idiot calls me "deer" (that's how she spells it when she texts me) all the time, so I interrupt her with "HUMAN". But I think I'm more bothered with it because it's usually younger people using those pet names. There is an older lady at one of the gas stations, she has a slight southern drawl and she will call everybody babydoll, sweetie, hunny, darling...and when she does it, I want nothing more than to give her a hug and make her my grandma.

I don't know what it is about the names that bothers me so much. Then again, I HATE being called ma'am, I'm barely 30, not old enough to be a ma'am yet! But I also hate when somebody will look at my ID or credit card and address me by my name. Think I'd be better off being referred to as "HEY YOU!" hahah When it comes down to it though, I really try not to make a big deal out of anything and won't try to correct somebody, I'm annoyed for that moment and then move on just as quickly.

Wow, so really, what do you likes to be called? Too old for ma'am but you don't like it when they address you by name. I guess you are one of those people that are just too hard to please.

 

[mhsjax]

I have called people terms of endearment names my entire life. When I was a bartender, I called people that until I could remember their names. My children are taught to say Please and Thank You and Ma'am and Sir. The thought that honey or sweetie would offend someone is so foreign to me. I do have a couple of Starbucks stories about it:

I had a regular customer that came in daily and one day he was SUPER early, like still dark outside. He walked in and I said "Good Morning Sunshine! Grande coffee today?" He looked me straight in the eye and said "Not one minute of my life has ever been sunshine. Don't call me that." I just said the first thing that came to my head....... which was, "Oh, that's awful! I'm so sorry for you! Do you need room for cream?"

Second story is much worse, and I have to say that I really wanted to get loud but I didn't. I just removed my employee from the situation. I had a long time employee who travelled extensively and worked for Starbucks in other states and countries. Her home base was my store. She had just gotten back from about 8 months in Scotland, and for some reason had picked up the phrase "My Lady". A woman in her 60's came in with a problem with a purchase. She wasn't irate or agitated, just wanted the problem handled. Well my employee said "I am so sorry about that My Lady, I'll be happy to fix it for you". The woman FLIPPED OUT! She started yelling at my employee saying, "Don't you be condescending to me! I am not YOUR LADY! Don't you speak to me that way!" My employee started apologizing and I interrupted. "You don't need to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong. Go on and head to the back and I'll take care of this." I said it calmly and not angrily. When my employee went to the back, I fixed the problem and they left. Meanwhile my employee is a train wreck in the back room. I told her to shake it off, we don't know what happened to that customer before she walked in the door. I had to reassure her that she didn't do anything wrong. Over "My Lady"?

There was a tour guide in the islands that called me and other women "my lady" every time he did it, I melted. I LOVED it. People need to get over themselves. I have no patience for anyone that behaves lie this. They are probably just mean nasty friendless people and with this attitude, I can see why.

 

[Squidgyness]

I loved being called sweetie when I was in the states. Of course, they were rather pretty young ladies and I was a young fellow. Totally unrelated facts mostly just nice to get good servers. We only ever had one bad one, whom my mother chewed out and was shouted at by the manager. Kinda felt sorry for her. But she was quite grumpy. We'd seen her serve others and she just said what do you want rather aggressively... Not very professional. But overall, a real novelty to have someone willing, able and nice to help you navigate mealtimes. I do miss that.

I also got a Belgian term when I went there, again from a rather pretty young lady, but I'm not sure what that one meant. She was very chirpy though, so it was probably nice. It earned her a large tip though.

In Britain I mostly just get a polite but curt, what can I get you? sometimes with a sir on the end...one time I got a rather surly WHAT? I never went back. We don't operate on tips... Good and bad points there.

I go to a lovely pub in the countryside where the bartender calls every woman he serves my lover or my darling. Would probably give some people here an embolism. I get sir.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Don't come down south then. It's a way of life here, and we all love it! Ma'm & Sir is too!

I'm in Kentucky and I don't like it at all. I find it rude, though I don't usually let it bother me.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I never understand how these threads always manage to compare sweetie to ma'am. Ma'am is a term of respect, Sweetie is a term of endearment.

I don't mind strangers using a term of respect to me, but can't stand it when strangers use a term of endearment to me.

Exactly!

 

[Lady V]

So basically from reading this thread there is not one universal saying that would make people happy. So for me, as long as they are kind to me and my children, I'm fine with whichever term of endearment they choose to use!

 

[TLSnell1981]

How bout Sugar Plum?

Honey?

Darlin?

Or, Sugar Pie Honey Bunch..

How about honey boo boo?

Okay, Boo Boo is a sore subject for some of us.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

 

[VickiVM]

I'm not a server but I use to nurse. I call everyone honey or sweetheart or some variation! I didn't realize it would offend anyone! Being from the south its bot unusual. I don't however like dear! I have a friend who was raised in Jersey and she does it to be condescending!

^This. I actually say "Dear" often. I talk to people spread out all over the country for my job, as well as people within my dept. that assist me and vice versa with data sharing...I often say "thanks, dear" to the ones I communicate often...and only to women -never men (and I am female, just to be clear).

I say it more as a punctuation to the end of a conversation that has been very helpful to me especially when someone goes out of their way to assist me. I truly mean no disrespect.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

So basically from reading this thread there is not one universal saying that would make people happy. So for me, as long as they are kind to me and my children, I'm fine with whichever term of endearment they choose to use!

Sad, isn't it? I really agree with you about just wanting someone to be kind to me. Being raised in the south, I am very much used to being called "ma'am", call others "sir" or "ma'am", and am teaching my daughter to use those terms, as well. For us, though, it is always to be used in a respectful manner. I understand that people in other parts of the country don't teach this. Therefore, I don't think the lack of them using it is in any way disrespectful. It's how they were raised. Likewise, I would assume that they would extend a similar courtesy my way and when I do end up using it around them, understanding that I was taught to say it as a sign of respect and I'm being respectful by saying it. If a person is used to saying honey, sweetie, darlin', or other terms of endearment and are using it as such, I'm not going to get bent out of shape. Just because a person uses a term that you (universal you) might to be familiar with doesn't mean you need to get upset when they use it. I wish that people would try to look at intent instead of the word.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I've never in my life had a waiter or waitress call me a term of endearment. I find that very odd. Is this a southern U.S. thing?

I have been called Maam many times.

 

[Bob NC]

I've never in my life had a waiter or waitress call me a term of endearment. I find that very odd. Is this a southern U.S. thing?

It's a very southern thing.

It happens elsewhere too, but it's very common in the south.

I don't mind it, it's much better than being ignored or not spoken to at all which happens more and more nowadays.

 

[Ginny Favers]

I've never minded it. There are so many worse things one can be called. And if I allowed things as small as this to get on my nerves, I imagine I'd be a terrible grouch 24/7.