And don't call me sweetie

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

I hate when servers refer to you as honey, sweetie, darlin, etc. I had one at lunch today and I wanted to slap her. (It probably didn't help that I was on a 45 minute hold with the IRS. )

But in all seriousness, why do they do that? I know I can't be the only one that hates it. It's not endearing, its annoying!

I would relax. You could be called many other things.

 

[dawnhaze]

I'm glad this is not common anywhere I've ever lived. If you don't know me, don't call me by a pet name or term of endearment, I am not your sweetie or your sunshine or any other stupid such thing. Yes, there are worse things to be called, but there are also worse things I can say back.

 

[Bob NC]

I'm glad this is not common anywhere I've ever lived. If you don't know me, don't call me by a pet name or term of endearment, I am not your sweetie or your sunshine or any other stupid such thing. Yes, there are worse things to be called, but there are also worse things I can say back.

It's really not that big a deal.

I've never seen anyone go completely crazy when being called 'sweetie' or 'dear.'

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

I'm glad this is not common anywhere I've ever lived. If you don't know me, don't call me by a pet name or term of endearment, I am not your sweetie or your sunshine or any other stupid such thing. Yes, there are worse things to be called, but there are also worse things I can say back.

You being rude because someone is being kind either because their older than you or it's a cultural thing would be 100% inappropriate.

 

[dawnhaze]

You being rude because someone is being kind either because their older than you or it's a cultural thing would be 100% inappropriate.

I was referring to the "there are worse things you can be called" sentiment. If I was called those "worse things" people would have to remove their children from the immediate vicinity. My response to "sweetie" is generally "excuse me, I don't prefer to be called that" and if you think that's rude, I don't really care.

It's really not that big a deal.

I've never seen anyone go completely crazy when being called 'sweetie' or 'dear.'

It's a big enough deal to me that I choose to say something about it to people who do it. Crazy? Not really.

 

[ckay87]

I don't care to be called "Sweetie" at all, but when it comes from a southerner I don't mind. It's just what they do. However, I had this store worker, some girl, some....20-something, half my age, CHILD repeatedly call me sweetie and it was almost more than I could take. I could not get out of the store fast enough. It was ridiculous.

Southerners (for whom the word "sweetie" is normal), do your teens and young adults speak to their obvious elders using that term? That is bizarre.

 

[happygirl]

I don't care to be called "Sweetie" at all, but when it comes from a southerner I don't mind. It's just what they do. However, I had this store worker, some girl, some....20-something, half my age, CHILD repeatedly call me sweetie and it was almost more than I could take. I could not get out of the store fast enough. It was ridiculous.

Southerners (for whom the word "sweetie" is normal), do your teens and young adults speak to their obvious elders using that term? That is bizarre.

Why is it bizarre?

 

[ckay87]

Why is it bizarre?

Oh geez. Ok, let me re-word that. I feel that is bizarre.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Why is it bizarre?

For a young person to call an older person Sweetie or Honey? I don't know if I'd say it's bizarre, though it's pretty close, but it's extremely disrespectful.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I've never minded it. There are so many worse things one can be called. And if I allowed things as small as this to get on my nerves, I imagine I'd be a terrible grouch 24/7.

But you see, to some it is not a small thing. To some, it is a sign of disrespect. I'm sure there are things I find "small" that really bother you.

 

[ckay87]

For a young person to call an older person Sweetie or Honey? I don't know if I'd say it's bizarre, though it's pretty close, but it's extremely disrespectful.

Exactly. Looks like I need to break out the old thesaurus today - you describe it better!

 

[turkeymama]

I don't care to be called "Sweetie" at all, but when it comes from a southerner I don't mind. It's just what they do. However, I had this store worker, some girl, some....20-something, half my age, CHILD repeatedly call me sweetie and it was almost more than I could take. I could not get out of the store fast enough. It was ridiculous.

Southerners (for whom the word "sweetie" is normal), do your teens and young adults speak to their obvious elders using that term? That is bizarre.

Teens? No. Young adults (early 20s), maybe depending on the situation. I'm almost 40 and I call elders "love, honey, sweetie, dear". I'm very southern and very respectful when I say it.

 

[Bluestars]

For a young person to call an older person Sweetie or Honey? I don't know if I'd say it's bizarre, though it's pretty close, but it's extremely disrespectful.

I think it's extremely disrespectful. It's not so bad if an elderly person does it, but it's annoying from anyone else, especially younger people. I guess some parents don't teach their kids manners. It also doesn't belong in the work place either. It's very unprofessional.

 

[mom2boys]

I hate when servers refer to you as honey, sweetie, darlin, etc. I had one at lunch today and I wanted to slap her. (It probably didn't help that I was on a 45 minute hold with the IRS. )

But in all seriousness, why do they do that? I know I can't be the only one that hates it. It's not endearing, its annoying!

Jules - stay out of Baltimore - unless you don't mind being called "Hon". I work in a DC suburb but we have a main office in Baltimore. I was there last week and a total stranger called me "Hon". I've lived in Maryland my entire life - but never in Baltimore, it still catches me off-guard when someone calls me Hon. I

 

[Ginny Favers]

But you see, to some it is not a small thing. To some, it is a sign of disrespect. I'm sure there are things I find "small" that really bother you.

I don't see how anyone could see this as being big. In the vast scheme of things, you can not tell me that whether someone calls you "sweetie" or "honey" is as big as, I dunno, child abuse. I'll get my panties in a bunch over that, instead, thank you. And something tells me that if someone finds this upsetting, they probably sweat a lot of small stuff. Which is no way to go through life.

And disrespect? Do I really care what other people think about me, or if they might be disrespecting me by calling me honey? The respect I get, I give to myself. I'm the only one who matters in the "respect" equation.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I don't see how anyone could see this as being big. In the vast scheme of things, you can not tell me that whether someone calls you "sweetie" or "honey" is as big as, I dunno, child abuse. I'll get my panties in a bunch over that, instead, thank you. And something tells me that if someone finds this upsetting, they probably sweat a lot of small stuff. Which is no way to go through life.

And disrespect? Do I really care what other people think about me, or if they might be disrespecting me by calling me honey? The respect I get, I give to myself. I'm the only one who matters in the "respect" equation.

Well of course it's not as big as child abuse.

Hmmm, interesting way to look at things (to me). I guess we're very different people. How people interact with others is very important to me. I like conversation and social niceties.

By the way, I do not think your way of thinking or feeling is "wrong" and I hope you're not saying our way of thinking is "wrong." We're just different from each other.

 

[Acklander]

But you see, to some it is not a small thing. To some, it is a sign of disrespect. I'm sure there are things I find "small" that really bother you.

It's all in the delivery. If someone is saying it, just as a matter of conversation (not being sarcastic or disrespectful) how can that be a major thing or worth getting bent out of shape over?? I may not choose to say it, but I can accept that others have different personalities, phrases, and ways of speaking than I do. Getting upset about something like this comes off as a bit controlling and petty.

 

[North of Mouse]

I think it's extremely disrespectful. It's not so bad if an elderly person does it, but it's annoying from anyone else, especially younger people. I guess some parents don't teach their kids manners. It also doesn't belong in the work place either. It's very unprofessional.

Sorry to disagree, but down south it is anything but *extremely disrespectful*.
And guess what, parents definitely *do* teach their children manners, and it's not annoying to those of us that grow up with it. It's our way of life, as most of us have already pointed out. You don't have to like it, but it's not *bad* manners.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Sorry to disagree, but down south it is anything but *extremely disrespectful*.
And guess what, parents definitely *do* teach their children manners, and it's not annoying to those of us that grow up with it. It's our way of life, as most of us have already pointed out. You don't have to like it, but it's not *bad* manners.

So you're saying it is not disrespectful for a, say 14 year old, to call a grown 40 year old woman "Sweetie?"

 

[happygirl]

I think it's extremely disrespectful. It's not so bad if an elderly person does it, but it's annoying from anyone else, especially younger people. I guess some parents don't teach their kids manners. It also doesn't belong in the work place either. It's very unprofessional.

I don't for the life of me see how it could be disrespectful. I don't see how manners has anything to do with it?