OP, I feel for you... I wish you strength and peace...
I'm not sure if this is the same state to state, but when I was preparing to leave my husband, my attorney advised me to take half of all of our liquid assets and put them into a single name account that he could not touch. He actually told me I could take alll the cash out if I wanted, since they were joint accounts and each of us had equal rights, but that would make me look nasty, so he suggested I just take half, before the ex got a hold of it. Also told me to take anything of any personal, emotional value out the day I leave, so as not to have to battle over it later. Start shipping things you would like to have to your parents. Or have them come visit and take things with them if you acn not leave immediately. I forgot a box of "highschool momentos" and did have to have it included in the divorce proceedings... jerk, like what would he want with my yearbooks, scrapbooks, trophies etc.???
I walked away from our house and everything we owned together, because in the end it was just "things" and my peace of mind was so much more important.
Like someone said, document everything, keep a notebook, with dates, conversations etc. If he wants to come to collect things, I suggest having a friend or neighbor over "for coffee" while he is going to be there so that you are not forced to engage in unpleasantness.
Best of luck to you.