"You're Not My Mother"

[d.kurz]

Originally posted by CynJ


Just wait - your DS will grow up quickly and someday when he's famous he will look into the TV camera and say "Hi Mom!"

LOL!! Good one!

 

[TigH]

Sending you hugs, Becka!

You know, judging by the adorable smile I always see on Nathan's face when you post pictures, I can safely assure you that you are a heck of a great mother!

Fiddlesticks on your DH. I don't know what I'd do if I were in your situation. However, as your pal and someone who cares about you, I'd like to encourage you to shake off those hurt feelings and do your best to have a wonderful day!!! Focus on the joy of having Nathan in your life. Focus on your wonderful WW accomplishments. Focus on the abundance of good things around you.

Some people just aren't as thoughtful as others. Don't let what he said ruin your day. I don't mean to imply that it was ok for him to behave that way, but I would selfishly rather know that you were feeling super duper happy today and not feeling sad and hurt!!!

Sending you millions of hugs!!!!

 

[mtemm]

I'm so sorry, Becka. I wouldn't personally blow him off for father's day as was suggested...its just not my style. But it seems like your dh just isn't into mother's day at all, not just 'cause your not his mother...he didn't get his own mother something. can't even imagine how hurt she must be.

I wish there was something I could say...I know I would be awfully hurt if Greg didn't get me something from Daniel (14 months). You might just have to pick out something for Nathan to give you. Not the same, I know.

Happy Mother's Day, sweetie. Keep up the good work! Nathan will love you forever for all you do for him.

 

[Gail T AGAIN]

Becca, don't be hurt, when Nathan grows up he is going to show you what mothers day is all about. You husband was very inconsiderate, my Ex was like that. As my son got older starting at 3 I used to take him out mothers day to a jewelry store and say pick something out for mommy then I would charge it and let his father pay for it. when a child is as young as nathan you expect, that's right expect the husband to step in and get you something from the son. There are many ways you can be inconsiderate and the first place to start is in the bedroom Happy mothers day Becka, take care of you and nathan today, no cooking, cleaning or anything else house related, just focus on the two and yes I said two of you

 

[Marla Hellwig]

It's days like this that makes me wish that my hubsand was still alive to take dd out shopping - I did get a big hug this morning from her and then she said - but you will have to wait for your present - it is still at school and not dry

 

[d.kurz]

Originally posted by Marla Hellwig
It's days like this that makes me wish that my hubsand was still alive to take dd out shopping - I did get a big hug this morning from her and then she said - but you will have to wait for your present - it is still at school and not dry

not dry?? I'm curious.... Is she an artist? Or is she doing your laundry!!

 

[janette]

I've heard that one before, it has gotten better.

 

[Marla Hellwig]

No not laundry - it is something from art class - last year it was a clay snake

 

[d.kurz]

Ah. thanks, marla

 

[TeresaNJ]

Happy Mother's Day, Becka!! Sometimes men are so dense. My heart goes out to you, I know how you are feeling. My ex never bought me anything from the kids for Mother's Day either. It does hurt, and you have a right to feel hurt. Obviously your son can't go out and get you something, so it is up to dad to do it. Let him know that your feelings are hurt, it's better to get it out than let it fester. If he is otherwise a thoughtful, loving husband, after you let him know how you feel, let it go. Hopefully next Mother's Day he will be more thoughtful.

 

[Michelle]

{{{HUGS}}} and Happy Mother's Day, Becka...I'm sorry your husband doesn't understand how important it is to honor you on Mother's Day. You ARE the mother of his child.

My husband doesn't do anything for mother's day either (I get a card) but my daughter just gave me a big hug and that's all that matters.

By the way, I have to slip in an early HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY to Nathan in a few days...since he shares a birthday with ME!

 

[SuiteDisney]

Happy Mother's Day, Becka. (((hugs)))

It sounds like your DH has some growing up to do!

 

[tiggerlover]

Gee Becka that really stinks, DH should be ashamed of himself. But you are not alone, some men just think that way, even though I totally disagree. My friend was in the store with her DH and I happen to come around the corner and they were looking at Mother's Day cards and her DH picked up a really nice card and handed it to her and after she read it he said, "I hope you liked it because this is your Mother's Day card", then he preceeded to return the card to the rack! I could tell her feelings were hurt, just as yours are today. {{{{BIG HUGS}}}} and many wishes to you for a Happy Mother's Day.

 

[SuiteDisney]

Originally posted by tiggerlover
My friend was in the store with her DH and I happen to come around the corner and they were looking at Mother's Day cards and her DH picked up a really nice card and handed it to her and after she read it he said, "I hope you liked it because this is your Mother's Day card", then he preceeded to return the card to the rack! I could tell her feelings were hurt, just as yours are today. {{{{BIG HUGS}}}} and many wishes to you for a Happy Mother's Day.

What a jerk! I'd parade around naked in front of him and then say, "I hope you liked it, because that's all you're getting."

 

[bananiem]

I'm sorry, becka. I was in labor on my what I consider my 1st Mother's Day and nobody said anything about it. Nine years later it doesn't bother me as much. But it did bother me for awhile.
I think you and Nathan should have a "Mommy-Son date day" and go have an ice cream together. Spend the day doing something with just him and enjoy the time together.
Happy Mommy's Day from me!

 

[Bunchkin]

Becka I'm so sorry your feeling have gotten stomped on.
Some guys are so thoughtless. And sometimes we need to *tell* them what they should have done instead. Maybe a nice talk with your DH is in order.
But remember this as you hold your son in your arms, he is the best present that you have ever received. He loves you no matter what and every time he smiles at you today he's saying "Thank you for loving me Mommy!!".

Happy Mother's Day Becka!!!!!


I'm lucky enough to have a DH who remembers all the holidays and special events and will take DD out shopping for cards and presents. In fact DD helped pick a Mother's Day card out from the baby to me.

 

[jamsmom]

Sounds like from this point forward, you and Nathan should spend EVERY Mother's Day at WDW- just the 2 of you. Tell hubby it is Nathan's way of saying "Happy Mother's Day, Mommy"


It will give the 2 of you time to bond


Then, every Father's Day, you and Nathan go to WDW AGAIN alone and leave DH by himself


Check your PM

 

[Mattsmom]

What a jerk! I'd parade around naked in front of him and then say, "I hope you liked it, because that's all you're getting."

ROTFLOL!!!!

Becka, I received the same kind of treatment on my first Mother's Day! My DM did give my something, but nothing from DH. Got the "your not my Mother". He was also sulking because he had to give up a golf tournament that weekend (we couldn't afford it)

I don't suffer in silence! I somewhat calmly told him if that was the way he thought we should treat each other, I would go along with it. No remembering special days or events that were important to him. He hasn't forgotten Mother's Day since. Oldest DS is 19!

 

[browneyes]

If my SO told me that, I'd have to remind him I'm not his mother everytime I washed his dishes, cooked his food, washed his clothes, etc. I'd also him since I'm not his mommy, he might as well consider himself bottlefed.

 

[kylara]

Sorry to hear that you weren't recognized on this special day, but since I do not know your DH, I won't say he is bad for not getting anything. If he doesn't get his own mother anything, it sounds as if he was raised not to honor the day....there are a lot of people who consider it a "Hallmark" holiday, meaning one thought up by the card, flower, and candy companies to boost sales.

I would talk with him calmly about what the day means to you and why you feel it is important to honor both Mother and Father days in your household. Hopefully, once he realizes that it is important to you, he will make an effort to honor it from now on. Explain what you explained here, that you aren't looking for huge expensive gifts (although they will be welcomed ), but just the recognition that you are the mother of his children.

Oh and as for the "your not my mother", well remind him that there are lots of people who honor the special people in their lives on Mother and Father days. I always gave a card to the lady who lived next door to my family when I was growing up. She watched me everyday after school and I always considered her a second mother. When I was confirmed, I even asked her to be my godmother for confirmation. She wasn't my mom, but she was very special to me.

I also send my sister a Mother's Day card every year. She isn't my mom, but she is the mother to my two adorable and well loved nieces. I always recognize that because it shows her that I cherish both her and my nieces.

Same for Father's day. My stepdad didn't raise me....mom and he started dating when I was in HS. But we are very close so I always get him a Father's day card....and I know it mean a lot to him...I will always remember the tears in his eyes when I gave him his first card (before they even got married).

There are other examples that people have written in their response that can show him that it is just a recognition of love for being someone special in someones life.