Your RSVP is too late!!

[JodyLynC]

I have read your posts. I still think you are wrong. Be glad she didn't just show up.

The party hasn't happened yet. The mom wants me to pick her up.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Sounds like you need to add in an extra kid, sorry, thats just me.
As far as transport goes, I'd call back and leave a message saying that you are unable to provide that and if she CAN make it you'd need to know by TOMORROW to make the arrangements as her bowling spot was already filled. I would be "extra" polite as I"feel" for that kid, Parents, we all stink sometimes...

OH, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your little one!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

The party hasn't happened yet. The mom wants me to pick her up.

Poster means be glad she didn't just show up without calling at all....like "surprise" here I am.

 

[hereyago]

OP
You would not be a *****. Personal accountability is on the child's mom. And the nerve to ask for you to pick said child up and all that, seriously.

 

[AKL_Megs]

The mom wants me to pick her up.

I think you are REALLY hung up on this fact more than anything.

You've posted about it probably 10 times. We all know already, but to spare us reading it again, perhaps you should edit your OP.

Call Mary's mom and tell her she can't come anymore, and especially you can't pick her up. Mary will get over it. Life is full of disappointment. At 8, she's probably had many.

 

[hedgehog2owl]

She is in the neighborhood, but in order to pick her up we would have to take 2 cars. We already have 5 people in the car. Plus we have to pick up the cake and balloons.

yup, tell her this; there is no room in your car. (don't mention the possibility of taking 2)

Do you normally drive Mary places? this mother's thinking is

 

[JessicaR]

I'm wondering what Mary's Moms track record has been in the past. If this mom is a slacker then I wouldnt bend to make it work.

I'm just wondering if this Mom needs to be cut some slack. Also, I'm a softie I guess. I have on many occasions altered my plans for the sake of someone else. I'm flexible that way mainly because things like this don't bother me.

If however this is typical behavior of this mother - all bets are off and too bad so sad.

There just isnt some cookie cutter explanation to this situation that fits all the time.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

After planning numerous birthday parties for my kids I always make up extra goody bags because invariably someone who "forgot" to RSVP shows up. Of course it can go the other way too and someone who did RSPV doesn't show up.

Sorry but an extra balloon and goodie bag aren't that big of a deal.

You can always say you can't give her a ride and leave it up to her mom. I really wouldn't penalize a little girl because her mom forgot to RSVP in time.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

After planning numerous birthday parties for my kids I always make up extra goody bags because invariably someone who "forgot" to RSVP shows up. Of course it can go the other way too and someone who did RSPV doesn't show up.

Sorry but an extra balloon and goodie bag aren't that big of a deal.

You can always say you can't give her a ride and leave it up to her mom. I really wouldn't penalize a little girl because her mom forgot to RSVP in time.

SHE'S not penalizing anyone, and it's more than the treats, it's an extra cost now for the child to attend. The MOTHER is the one who is penalizing the child.

 

[daisyduck123]

I would not add the girl now.

You had an RSVP date on their FOR A REASON & the mom blew it off.

Sorry...it's not your fault. It's the mother's.

**I bet she'll never respond late to another invite (if she wants her DD to attend).

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

OP, how much more is the bowling party going to be if you add another child? Someone mentioned their bowling parties go up by tiers- 5, 10, 15. If you have to pay for 15 kids just to add another to make it 11, that could be a serious amount of cash. I was just thinking you paid per child, but in that case you would be paying 5X the amount of one child.


Bowling parties here are around $14/child. If you had to pay for 5 more kids just to add Mary that would be $70 just to add her! No, I don't think I would be doing that...


I may have to switch over to the ***** team...

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Add me to the ***** group as well but for two reasons.

1- I would not tell the kid she couldn't come. Maybe the invitation got misplaced etc. It's not that big a deal to add another kid.

2- I think it is even ruder to offer someone a second rate inivite like you did with the co-worker's kid. She wasn't good enough to make the first cut? IMO that is super rude.

I would however tell the Mom that I cannot pickup or drop off her child. That there simply is no room in your car. If she can't make it because of that then oh well. It is not anyone's job to provide transportation for everyone.
YMMV.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

yup, tell her this; there is no room in your car. (don't mention the possibility of taking 2)

Do you normally drive Mary places? this mother's thinking is

This is guaranteed to backfire. If you do not want the child there, be honest.

Tell her you filled the spot, the end.

 

[freckles and boo]

It is just a bowling party, for goodness sake. I would find a way to make it work. It isn't as if this happened the morning of the party.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

SHE'S not penalizing anyone, and it's more than the treats, it's an extra cost now for the child to attend. The MOTHER is the one who is penalizing the child.

Of course it's the mother's fault - but not the little girls.

I guess I'm just a softie.

OP what would you have done if the little girl had just shown up without RSVPing? We've had that happen! That's why I always make extra goodie bags and am always prepared to pay for the extra child or two.

How much money would it cost for the child to attend now - is it really a large amount or is it just that the woman RSVP'd late that's bugging you. Yes I would LOVE it if everyone RSVP'd on time - unfortunately it never seems to work that way.

 

[Mickey Fliers]

Add me to the ***** group as well but for two reasons.

1- I would not tell the kid she couldn't come. Maybe the invitation got misplaced etc. It's not that big a deal to add another kid.

2- I think it is even ruder to offer someone a second rate inivite like you did with the co-worker's kid. She wasn't good enough to make the first cut? IMO that is super rude.

I would however tell the Mom that I cannot pickup or drop off her child. That there simply is no room in your car. If she can't make it because of that then oh well. It is not anyone's job to provide transportation for everyone.
YMMV.

Absolutely agree! Seriously, it's not that big of deal. Also, today is Tuesday. I am assuming the party is this weekend. That seems like more than enough time to add a little girl to the party. Money wise, what are we talking about, $20? Twenty buck to make a kid happy...I'll buy that. Plus, if this child, Mary, were part of the original guest list, maybe your daughter would really like her friend at her birthday.

You shouldn't have filled Mary's "spot" with a B-list invitee almost a week before the party. That's tacky.

 

[lvanleer]

I'm sorry however I think you're being a ***** also......you don't penalize an innocent child for the mother's mistake....In addition you don't go and invite someone else until you find out for sure that "Mary" wouldn't be able to make....now maybe I misread your original post but I didn't see any thing in there where it stated that you contacted "Mary's" mom to see if she was going to be able to come around your RSVP date.....therefore I feel that you dropped the ball also and should let Mary come to the party.

 

[JodyLynC]

Add me to the ***** group as well but for two reasons.

1- I would not tell the kid she couldn't come. Maybe the invitation got misplaced etc. It's not that big a deal to add another kid.

2- I think it is even ruder to offer someone a second rate inivite like you did with the co-worker's kid. She wasn't good enough to make the first cut? IMO that is super rude.

I would however tell the Mom that I cannot pickup or drop off her child. That there simply is no room in your car. If she can't make it because of that then oh well. It is not anyone's job to provide transportation for everyone.
YMMV.

My co-worker's DD has only met my DDs once. Co-worker is going thru a hard time right now. Since I had an extra spot, I invited her and her DD along so they could have a distraction.

 

[RitaZ.]

I would call the mom and tell her that you'd be happy to include her DD. However, I'd tell her that she'd have to drop off and pick up her DD, as you'll have too much going on the day of the party.

 

[luvmy3]

What exactly is the point of putting an RSVP by date on the invitation? If someone doesn't answer by that date its safe to assume they are not coming, you gav ethem the courtesy of giving them time to contact you, if they don't then the party mom is free to invite anyone else in that child's place. The OP is not resonsibile for making sure Mary is happy and gets to go to the party, her own mother is, and she didn't seem to care enough about Mary missing the party to make sure she responded in time.
OP you are not being a ***** because you can no longer accomodate someone who didn't respond by the deadline.