Your First Love

[whoiam]

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[mommasita]

Poor thing, but it is a good lesson.

My "first love" was at 15.. We dated for about 4 years (On and off, lol), and met working at Mc Donald's.. When it finally ended, I was a mess.. I thought I wouldn't be able to go to school, work anything.. Even though I ended it, it was very crushing and real... I did move on, and I was very glad honestly that I hurt so much, not so much then, but it made me wiser..

We are FB friends today, nothing more, believe me..

I am not sure how old your DD is, but honestly watch her closely.. I didn't eat, and it just made my eating disorder worse. I contemplated suicide, and it ended up a male friend said "that is enough", and picked me up on his bike that evening, I looked like hell, but he said I needed to get out.. I was very thankful, because he literally carried me out of the house to socialize, and talking and doing that literally saved me..

 

[minkydog]

DD20 experienced her first love at 16. Her boyfriend was sweet and attentive and everything you want first love to be. They dated for almost a year. I could see things cooling between them, especially on his part. Ten days before Christmas, and ONE day before final exams he decided to break it off. I was very upset that he didn't at least wait until the weekend and of course, DD was devastated. She didn't date at all for months and even then, it wasn't anything much. I encouraged her to go out with her BFFs and we talked it out a few times (at her leading).

It took about a year for her to get back in the saddle. She and her current BF have a much more mature relationship. They have been dating about 16 months.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

She took a giant **** all over me and I thought I'd never find anyone ever again. I barely slept for weeks, and lost twenty pounds. It sucked. Hardest thing I ever went through. But, I went on with my life.

I've been happily married to a better woman for 18 years.

 

[mmouse37]

I married him!!! We will celebrate our 33rd anniversary this year!!

MJ

 

[njmom47]

Hello everyone,

Just wondering if I could hear some stories about your "first love". DD is having a hard time letting go of her "first love" and I was wondering if you all had some good stories, because it's bringing me back to my high school days and boy do I not miss that!

Anyway, just thought it'd be fun!

I dated "T" for about a year when I was in 8th grade and he was a freshman. His mom didn't like me pretty much from day 1 (he was the oldest of 7, maybe she thought I was taking her son away from her ).
We broke up for about a year, then we dated most of my sophomore year, all the way till I turned 21. He was not allowed to mention me under his Senior picture in the yearbook. We went to different colleges, although they were about an hour away so we did visit frequently.
I ended up breaking it off as we were in different stages of life (I was a party girl, he was thinking "Get a good job to support us"). His mom was relived I think.
We did try in our mid 20s to get back together but it didn't work (on my side again.).
So even though he was my first love, and my dmom will swear to this day he still has feelings for me, we tried and tried, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

 

[lizabu]

He was a bad boy type. My Dad forbid me from seeing him. Well that was all I needed. Forbidden love is so much sweeter isn't it? We dated for two years until I realized he was a jerk and he had been messing around with other girls behind my back. A few years after I got married and my son was a baby there was a knock at my door. It was him telling me he messed up. That I should have married him instead. I agreed that he messed up but not that I should have married him. I closed the door and never saw him again.

 

[Disney Doll]

First HS boyfriend...we dated for a while then I found he was cheating on me with someone so we broke up. IT was a relatively short-term thing so not a crushing heartbreak. About a year later he came to me telling me he made a terribl mistake and that he wanted us to try again. I told him I knew he made a terrible mistake and that there was no way in heck that we would be trying again.I think my exact words were "What happened? Did the sknk break up with you?". That pretty much gave him the ida that there woul dbe no "trying again".


Second HS boyfriend. Nice kid. Liked him. He found someone he liked better so boke up with me to be with her. He ended up marrying her, and they're probably married like 30 years, so obviously he was right. However, he was a little harder to get over. It was hard seeing him day in and day out at school.

Third HS boyfriend...we were on and off for Senior year. He wnt aay to college and it sort of fizzled out. I hear he's some bigwig in the stock market living in London.

First serious adult romance. Very difficult at the break up. He was one I thought I could marry. I didn't date for a long time after him...just enjoyed hanging with my friends, travelling, no ties.

Then I met DH. I've known him 25 years, married 22 years. Best thing that ever happened to me and the lessons I learned from previous boyfriends made me see why he was perfect for me.

I will say that after break-ups, even as a kid, I always took some time to think things through, figure things out, look back on the relationship & learn the lessons. I wasn't one to jump right into another relationship.

My opinion is that a break-up is like a death in some ways, because it is the death of a relationship. So the relationship must be mourned for a period of time. Mourned in a healthy way, but mourned nonetheless. MOurned, dissected, thought about.

The best thing your DD can do is keep busy. If she works, tell her to try and pick up some extra shifts. Try and keep her busy around the house a bit if she doesn't work. Encourage her to do things with her friends...tell her to invite them over to hang out etc. The worst thing is to sit in the house alone pining away.

 

[Tuffcookie]

My first love was when I was around 13. He went to my church and his family left our area, to go to another state, so his dad could go to bible college and become a minister. I was heart broken! We corresponded for a while thru letters and whenever his family came to town I saw him. When his dad graduated college the family moved to a suburb of Chicago and started a church there. We quit corresponding and the last time I saw him I was 15. Fast forward to 2009. Our church celebrated it's 75th anniversary. We celebrated for a month with different ministers speaking each Sunday. Would you believe first boyfriend was one of the speakers, as he had become a minister and took over the church his late father founded near Chicago! He is married with 5 daughters! And, yes, he remembered me!

TC

 

[tvguy]

I married him!!! We will celebrate our 33rd anniversary this year!!

MJ

31 years this year for DW and I.

She's the one the showed me what love was. Those other girls were just good friends.

 

[Art 1]

Just finding out.

 

[glammadiva]

Let's just say it was the most painful experience in my life. I loved sleep because its the only time I didn't hurt.

 

[java]

High school boyfriend on and off for over 4 years. The break that finally ended it was my doing. We were in college and long distance wasn't working. Not terrible heartache as I ended it.

But at 18 I was ga ga over someone. Head over heels knock your socks off kind of love one summer. He broke up with me When he left for law school. I was miserable. Stayed in bed for 3 days. Stopped eating. Just awful. Then I went back to school. Got a new boyfriend and started to move on.

Honestly, it took a long while to get over it. I bumped into him years later(I was engaged) and my heart still skipped a beat.

 

[ashmarie06]

Let's just say it was the most painful experience in my life. I loved sleep because its the only time I didn't hurt.

This was my recent breakup also, such a sad time.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

My first love was my ex-husband. In retrospect, I should have dumped him a few months into the relationship, but I let it drag on for years.

 

[NY Disney fan]

My first love was a good young man ( i was 16 and he was 19). He was not the guy for me so I ended the relationship.

 

[whoiam]

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[PatsGirl]

My first love was one of the worst things that ever happened to me and one of the best (15 years later). We met as sophmores in high school and dated for a few months. He dumped me for someone else but kept me on a short chain, coming back every so often just to torment me I think I started dating someone else pretty seriously and travelled cross-country after graduation before college with him. We eventually broke up when I went away to college and the weekend thing was working for us (and I had seriously outgrown him).

Two years later, Mr. First Love, comes knocking at the door...he's home from the Army for a few days, do I want to have dinner? I honestly had not stopped thinking about what we could be since I was 16 so of course, I jumped at it. He asked me to move to Texas with him when he went back and I said no. We decided to try long distance. Six months later I got the Dear John letter ~ getting married, baby on the way, yadda yadda yadda.

Fast forward 12 years or so...I spent a good amount of time thinking about him, wondering....I married for one year and had my son but divorced pretty quickly. Prior to that I was engaged but it didn't work out. I think some of this was partly due to the fact that I never got over him. One night I ran into him at a bar, he's been living about 40 miles from our hometown, had two girls, 11 and 13 and was divorced...do I want to do dinner? We spent the next three years together and have a beautiful daughter who just turned 16 but it was never meant to be. He is still that self-absorbed teenager from high school. We co-parent well together and he is very good to all his kids but I guess I needed that closure

I did spend most of the last 15 years raising my two kids as a single parent and enjoying every minute of it but I didn't take much time for dating because they were my priority and between work and the two kids, there just wasn't much time for a significant other. Glad to say though, that I remarried four weeks ago and couldn't be happier

 

[lorimay]

Started dating him 2 weeks after my high school graduation in 1982.
Married in 1987.
2 kids
2 grandkids

Now a bit too quickly growing old together and loving it.

 

[whoiam]

. Glad to say though, that I remarried four weeks ago and couldn't be happier

Congratulations!!