Your best corny joke/riddle

[Clifton Tesh]

Q:Why don't blind people skydive?
A:It scares the crap out of the dog!

Q:How do blind skydivers know they're getting close to the ground?
A:The leash gets slack.

Q:What's the hardest part about skydiving?
A:The ground

Q:What do you call a dog with no legs?
A:It doesn't matter, he's not going to come no matter what you call him.

If I had a dog with no legs, I'd name him cigarette. Every night I would take him out for a drag.

 

[tvguy]

Stolen from the Mad Hatter at Disneyland.
"WHAT'S GREEN AND SMELLS LIKE PAINT?"






















"GREEN PAINT"

 

[sonnyjane]

Nerdy industry joke:

Q: What's the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

A: One wags a tail, the other tags a whale

 

[Clifton Tesh]

Nerdy industry joke:

Q: What's the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

A: One wags a tail, the other tags a whale

Lol, that's a new one for me!

Here's one for the computer nerds out there

There's only 10 kinds of people:
Those that know binary
And those that don't!

 

[njpyro]

Did you hear about the zoo that only had one dog in it?
It was a shih tzu!

 

[NFLDERS]

Fun read...Keep them coming.

 

[dizzy daisy]

What do you call a fly with no wings?




A walk.

 

[Dizneefamily+4]

When you see geese flying in a "v" formation, do you know why one side is always longer than the other?

...Because there's more geese on that side.


What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the water?

....Bob


What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in front of your door?

...Matt

 

[Clifton Tesh]

Q: What do you call a pig that knows kung fu?
A: Pork Chop

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground beef

 

[NFLDERS]

Thanks for the laughs!

 

[bellanotte10]

two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "How do you drive this thing?"

 

[Clifton Tesh]

two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "How do you drive this thing?"

This has always been one of my most favorite jokes

 

[Unas]

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?


Be cause they have big fingers.

 

[Clifton Tesh]

In memory of the late and great Mr.George Burns

"I remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty!"

"It only takes me one drink to get drunk, the problem is, I can't remember if it is the 13th one or the 14th one! "

And one of my favorite, from Mr. Redd Foxx:

Q: Where do cousins come from?
A: An ant (aunt) hole

 

[Micca]

Horse walks into a bar, bartender says "Why the long face?"

 

[Cogswel_Cogs]

What do you call a nervous boat?



A shipwreck

 

[lesliekatya]

Old classic from my high school chemistry teacher:

Q. Why do bees buzz?

A. You'd buzz too, if someone took your honey and nectar.

 

[Clifton Tesh]

So, a pirate walks into a bar. Looks like the quintessential pirate -- peg leg, hook on one hand, eye patch, the whole nine yards. In addition to all this, he's got a steering wheel hanging from the fly of his pants.
He walks up to the bar, and orders a whiskey. The bartender pours the pirate a glass, and says to him "I don't want to offend, but I thought you should know -- you've got a steering wheel attached to your fly." The pirate nods his head, and says:

"Arrrgh, it's driving me nuts."

 

[Cogswel_Cogs]

A existentialist monk walks up to hot dog vendor on 34th Street.

"Make me one with everything," he says.

 

[maslex]

Q: Guess who I saw today?
A: Everyone I looked at.