Only if I can have one of those sandwiches thrown in for free.
Are you serious??!?!?!? That body alone isn't enough incentive for you?
Let me explain how unique this delivery will be -
First of all, he will not be hand delivering it to you. Oh no. The bag will be hidden under one of his hanging pecs. And guess who's job it will to find it? That's right...the winning bidder. And ladies, you can't use your hands to search - that's cheating.
Second, there will be another bag hidden either somewhere on his body, or in his body cavity. This bag will contain finely aged illegal drugs from Jack's earlier "Easy Rider" days. These drugs may be the same type that Walt Disney smoked when he came up with the concept for Fantasia. This bag will be more challenging to find, as Jack had to sneak it past airport security. So the bag is hidden pretty
deep, as you can imagine. Once you retrieve it, use it as you please.
Third, Jack has agreed to bring shaving cream and a razor, giving the winning bidder a once in a lifetime opportunity to shave the hair off of his back and buttocks. Afterwards, the hair is yours to keep, absolutely free. Display it beside your bag of dirt. It is sure to become a crowd pleaser. This is a unique treasure that you would expect to find in the homes of Martha Stewart or Rachel Ray. But, for just this one moment in time, it could be yours.
So I'm sorry, but for all you are getting already with this deal, there is no way that I would be able to throw in a $5 footlong.