yet another MIL thread:christmas gift exchange

[HOGFAN]

What is politically correct way to tell MIL that we will not be participating in next years gift exchange and dinner. The 'kids' are all grown up and they are not interested in the meal nor the gifts. Our feelings stem from the fact that MIL favors one child and one grandchild over the others. First one is a bum that she enables and the grandchild is a stripper. But neither one can do wrong and its BRAG CITY when one of them DOES accomplish something. The accomplishments of the responsible children and grandkids go unnoticed. Plus SIL and I agree that everybody needs to start doing their own thing.
Next year, DH and I are going to the Florida Keys for the holiday and will exchange with OUR kids a few days before Christmas. The last 13 holidays have been around MILS plans and schedule(or the schedules of the 'goldens') and we're ready for a change.

Anyway, looking for 'chicken' ways to tell her. will be in the doghouse for sure. haha. its okay, Ive been there before.

 

[deegack]

I would have told her before Dec 23rd to start with, but I guess just say we are going away. Hope you all have fun without us.

 

[KAMLEM]

I would have told her before Dec 23rd to start with, but I guess just say we are going away. Hope you all have fun without us.

The OP is talking about next year, not this year.

 

[Minnie]

A simple - "our gift to each other is a trip to Florida next Christmas - we are very excited"

Then don't let MIL start the guilt trip - oh we are so excited about the trip - repeat, repeat, repeat

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Hmmm good luck with this. Its going to be hard either way if you tell her early or wait. She's not going to be happy with the break in tradition. If you give her too much time she'll just make it another day so as to not miss the family bonding.

 

[deegack]

Sorry. I would wait until plans start for next year and then say you are going to Florida this year

 

[Handbag Lady]

I would just tell her at this year's Christmas that the family has other plans for next year and you won't be doing gifts and you want to tell them in advance so there are no hurt feelings.

Lather, rinse and repeat!

 

[Disney Doll]

I wouldn't be telling her now and giving her a whole year to "stew"!
Next October/November will be fine.

Then it's "Our Christmas gift to each other is a trip so we won't be at your house for Christmas". The good news for her is that then she'll have more time to devote to her Golden Children.

Oh, and if these are yourt in-laws, let hubby break the news.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I am a straight shooter. I would simply say that you are going to be taking a vacation next year. But wait - what if she decides that a vacation is a great idea and wants to join you?

But, to a more important topic - is the "stripper" hawt?

 

[MinnieMe87]

I would just tell her at this year's Christmas that the family has other plans for next year and you won't be doing gifts and you want to tell them in advance so there are no hurt feelings.

Lather, rinse and repeat!

That's what I would do as well.

 

[ccgirl]

I would just tell her at this year's Christmas that the family has other plans for next year and you won't be doing gifts and you want to tell them in advance so there are no hurt feelings.

Lather, rinse and repeat!

Yup...this. And, don't worry about what the inlaws do to the others. Mine are the same and I just figure it's becuase they are the ones that need the most help. Just be honest, the kids are grown and we are growing away. If you insist on giving something; donate to the charity of your choice.

 

[clarabelle]

I wouldn't tell her at your Christmas gathering this year
I would wait a month or two.
Also I would try to throw her some kind of bone -Thanksgiving? a weekend in the fall maybe?

 

[Dee77]

I would call her on December 31st and say that it's sad thinking that next year you all won't have the traditional Christmas day together since you will be going away but Happy New Year!

 

[sbell111]

What's wrong with strippers? They are somehow not worthy of a grandmother's love?

 

[jen0610]

I am a straight shooter. I would simply say that you are going to be taking a vacation next year. But wait - what if she decides that a vacation is a great idea and wants to join you?

But, to a more important topic - is the "stripper" hawt?

Given a big enough notice, this is exactly what MY MOTHER would do - AGAIN!!!

She got the wise idea to join us on our first family vacation, which was our Disney vacation. Thank god my baby brother threw himself on the gernade and made it so that she only butted in for 1 1/2 days of our vacation. He took her off to Vermont for the rest of the week.

Still 1 1/2 days was more than enough for DH to stand. We both swore, that the next time we do a major vaca, she is told NOTHING until we are out the door for the airport. Dad can know, baby bro can know, DH's side of the family can know - but not a word to mom.

And what I mean by throwing himself on the gernade, my brother was to be with us for 3 days of our vacation. But in order to get mom outta our hair, he cut his time with us short.

 

[HOGFAN]

What's wrong with strippers? They are somehow not worthy of a grandmother's love?

worthy of love..of course
more respect/love than the rest=---NO

 

[Tanbellisima]

What is politically correct way to tell MIL that we will not be participating in next years gift exchange and dinner. The 'kids' are all grown up and they are not interested in the meal nor the gifts. Our feelings stem from the fact that MIL favors one child and one grandchild over the others. First one is a bum that she enables and the grandchild is a stripper. But neither one can do wrong and its BRAG CITY when one of them DOES accomplish something. The accomplishments of the responsible children and grandkids go unnoticed. Plus SIL and I agree that everybody needs to start doing their own thing.

Next year, DH and I are going to the Florida Keys for the holiday and will exchange with OUR kids a few days before Christmas. The last 13 holidays have been around MILS plans and schedule(or the schedules of the 'goldens') and we're ready for a change.

Anyway, looking for 'chicken' ways to tell her. will be in the doghouse for sure. haha. its okay, Ive been there before.

Just do what you and your husband plan. When you talk about the new gossip with you MIL like the how ya doin's on the phone etc wait until she starts bragging about the "others" and then interrupt after a minute and say :Ooohh MIL I have some good news. Me and your son are going to Florida for Christmas next year. Isn't that the best. You raised the best son. He really takes care of me."

You will get the best feeling of freedom. Do it.


Merry Merry Christmas to you in this season of Miracles!

 

[HOGFAN]

I am a straight shooter. I would simply say that you are going to be taking a vacation next year. But wait - what if she decides that a vacation is a great idea and wants to join you?

But, to a more important topic - is the "stripper" hawt?

she wont
and
NO

 

[Tanbellisima]

I am a straight shooter. I would simply say that you are going to be taking a vacation next year. But wait - what if she decides that a vacation is a great idea and wants to join you?

But, to a more important topic - is the "stripper" hawt?

You are too funny! RAOTFLMBO!

 

[Tanbellisima]

she wont
and
NO

I am glad to hear your MIL won't ruin your next Christmas trip to the Florida Keys. I hope you and your husband have a REALLY great time!