LONG POST.POSSIBLY VENT.
DO NOT READ xD
it will BURN.
I want school BADLY.
I miss all my close friends, and I miss the guarantee of playing my baby every other day.
I miss that a LOT.
I also miss passing notes with NOTHING on them, playing madlibs like kingergarteners "I need a verb" "uh...verb verb...uhm...FROLIC! *giggle giggle*", I miss my "secret followers", most of all..i miss..i miss...*blushes* I miss all my 8th grade friends.
They were the ones I fit in with
They were my rock.
I cant bear to lose them like that, after such a rough patch together.
I miss cracking jokes and making my friends ALMOST pee their pants *because apperently Im funny?*
I miss talking Ghost Hunters to people who dont even care, but they still agree how cool it is.
I miss walking down the hallways like a spie like no one is watching.
I miss skipping down the hall.
I WANT another chance to make things right with 1 of my teachers.
I need to have another chance.
I probably won't get one, and I regret doing that, which makes me VERY afraid to go back to school.
I do not miss being the outcast
I do not miss everyone hating me
I do not miss the sexual harassment
I do not miss my baby being busted on the side of the wall and taking the blame for it
I do not miss having no soap in the bathroom
I do not miss being embarassed by my friends NOT my parents
I do not miss being left out
I do not miss the people i met
I do miss the people I love
I do miss the few who Im afraid will not be on my team
Im afraid i will die next year
Im afraid that something will happen
Im afraid that i have some big secret that no one knows about
Im afraid that no matter what I do as soon as the first day I walk into the door they will be like "EW ITS HER" just because its me.
I do not miss looking in the mirror every morning and seeing the ugliest thing ever created.
I do not miss school pictures
I do not miss having a bunch of family members die every year
I do not miss my heart being broken
I miss everything, yet nothing.
:/
I screwed up big time last year, and no one will give me a second chance.
I dont think they will.
I was so stupid.
I tried my best, but the outcome was crummy and I looked like I didnt care about anyone or anything.
My goal next year, will be to just...try my hardest with grades and my "baby", maybe the year after will turn out to be perfect.
This year is WORK time.