Yelling - is it child abuse?

[amberpi]

I've seen this idea recently on a few stepmom groups and then some memes online. Ya'll got thoughts?

I have to say I probably yell "No, sir, get down/off from there" a couple of time a day as the boy is a bit of a climber. I'm sure there are other instances, I've yelled, but that comes to mind today. Are there really parents out there who won't yell when the child could fall onto a concrete table from the couch? Is it, as most things in life, situational?

 

[Floridaman999]

I doubt yelling for safety purposes is what they're talking about. I'd imagine it's more the yelling as a communication tool in general.

 

[morgan98]

I do not think they mean yelling about safety issues or even to clean your room. I think they are more or less referring to yelling about how horrible/useless/dumb or whatever in a consistent fashion which really impacts a child's self-esteem, feeling of self worth, etc.

 

[fla4fun]

I think it’s one of those things that can go either way. Constant yelling and belittling, yes, I consider that emotional abuse. The occasional yell when a child is in a dangerous situation and hasn’t responded to a request to stop whatever it is -I don’t consider that abuse.

 

[Cubbiecakes]

Depends on what you're saying.

Not Abuse: "I am very disappointed in your behavior and I am going to punish you."
Abuse: "You're a disappointment and I'm going to punish you."

 

[Sjm9911]

Um ,no it isnt. Depending on the situation it can be good or bad , but it dosent rise to child abuse. When i took my now ex wife to court for lots of stuff, i was told stuff like not feeding, giving the child rotten food , leaving the child at daycare and stuff like that was neglect. And dosent rise to the crime of abuse.

 

[Summer2018]

It's what you say, not how loud you say it.

 

[PollyannaMom]

No, yelling is not child abuse. (Though I'm sure constant yelling isn't good, your safety scenario is perfectly fine!)

 

[wenrob]

As others have said, huge difference between raising your voice and verbal abuse. Verbal abuse can happen at any decibel. What you say has a greater impact than the tone you use to say it.

 

[amberpi]

So...situational it seems. Some of these people are just "there is never a reason to raise your voice." I'm thinking, are these people never cooking dinner, with netflix on, and abandoned tablets playing, the Vamperina house talking, and a kid about to do something dumb?

You guys remind that are tons of people/parents out there that are garbage humans though. I forgot about people being straight nasty to little kids.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

 

[low-key]

no its not unless you just beat down your child with screaming all the time. You should a least compliment twice as many times as you go negative on them. (and this advice is free for ya, you should be prophesying on them, you say that sounds kind of biblical nuts, here is what I mean , if you notice your child worry's about other people, you should say " I see how much you care about people, you cant change that its who you are, you will be a person who other people who are hurting will turn to all your life, you keep that up "

 

[North of Mouse]

I've seen this idea recently on a few stepmom groups and then some memes online. Ya'll got thoughts?

I have to say I probably yell "No, sir, get down/off from there" a couple of time a day as the boy is a bit of a climber. I'm sure there are other instances, I've yelled, but that comes to mind today. Are there really parents out there who won't yell when the child could fall onto a concrete table from the couch? Is it, as most things in life, situational?

If it's child abuse I think we can all say, "Guilty"!! It's something that even the most mild mannered parents have done at times I'm sure. We did not make a habit of it though.

Can say I've heard some parents yell to the point that to my ears (and heart) would qualify as child abuse.

 

[amberpi]

no its not unless you just beat down your child with screaming all the time. You should a least compliment twice as many times as you go negative on them. (and this advice is free for ya, you should be prophesying on them, you say that sounds kind of biblical nuts, here is what I mean , if you notice your child worry's about other people, you should say " I see how much you care about people, you cant change that its who you are, you will be a person who other people who are hurting will turn to all your life, you keep that up "

I'm not really worried about me/my house. I know the kids are so very super loved all the time. But yeah, I will yell over the din sometimes, never out of anger. I'm just curious about these supposed perfect houses.

When's the next Vegas trip?

 

[amberpi]

If it's child abuse I think we can all say, "Guilty"!! It's something that even the most mild mannered parents have done at times I'm sure. We did not make a habit of it though.

Can say I've heard some parents yell to the point that to my ears (and heart) would qualify as child abuse.

Yep, I always forget about the garbage humans, but they are probably abusing their children in many ways. The people in my OP also think a poptart is child abuse. Lordy.

 

[Sandeep1]

Yelling is not abuse. But abuse can include yelling.

 

[ronandannette]

View attachment 387586

Unfortunately this was one of the errors we made with our DS - we let him get away with not minding us until we raised our voices. It sure didn't take long for that to settle in deep and it took years of consistently imposing consequences almost instantaneously to bring his behavior back into line.

 

[Hikergirl]

Constantly berating a child, whether yelling or whispering is abuse.
Yelling at them to pick up their room for the 100th time- not abuse.

 

[Klayfish]

Yelling at them to pick up their room for the 100th time this morning- not abuse.

My DS14...

 

[tinkerdorabelle]

I think it is. My father was a yeller, not a spanker, but yelled all the time. Didn't name call or anything but was always yelling. To this day I hate raised voices of any kind, it makes me feel shaky and nervous inside.