Wwyd???

[mjkacmom]

Oh my goodness gracious..seriously? 4 kids or 2 kids or 10 kids..they have other plans and were clearly involved in something else when you called as you said it sounded like they were at a sporting event for another child. Yes you do seem to want them to alter their plans because clearly you know you called while they were involved in some activity. They did not call you right back thus indicating (to me at least) they are still busy and unable to return the phone call. You want them to call back without seeming to understand that YOU interrupted THEM, you disrupted their family activities and that your phone call is likely very low on their list of things to do for the day. I know it would be very low on my list especially if I had a lot going on that day.

The answer is no..for all the reasons that I mentioned and others mentioned. You called a parent who was clearly occupied at the time at the last minute for a play date that same day. If they have not responded I would take that as a good indication they are busy and thus leave them alone and not call or text them and further interrupt their time/activities.

I wouldn't feel like someone interupted my family time if they called while I was at a sporting event (heck, on the weekends, that's where I always am). If I didn't want to be interupted, I wouldn't answer my phone. I doubt the dad would inform the mom that it was the OP's dd's birthday - I'm sure it left his head a second after he read about it.

Now, as someone with a CRAZY weekend schedule, I can totally see me rushing about, saying I'll call back in 5 minutes, and totally forget. I understand why the OP wanted a callback - she just had to decide if she should call another friend.

This is the reason that, when my kids call their friends for playdates, DO NOT leave a message, so that they can call someone else (same day playdates are frequent here, because everyone lives within a few minutes drive of each other). Of course, people are busy, so you might need to make several calls.

 

[disykat]

Your post comes off as peeved they aren't jumping through hoops to call you back. That to me implies you feel they should alter whatever it is they are doing to do what your DD wants because they should know it is her birthday because Dad responded to a FB post (otherwise why would you include all of that?). It doesn't work that way and in a situation where it was important you should have been the one doing the talking. Mom might have been able to address weekend plans with you quickly rather than speaking to your DD and not to you.

You have zero clue what a family with 4 kids has packed into a weekend and you felt they were already out at some event when you called so you clearly know they have things going on. Maybe 5 minutes wasn't realistic..maybe something came up with another child, something ran over..etc. Calling back may not be high on their priority list. YOU are intruding on their plans and do indeed seem to feel their plans should accommodate you and your phone call when you have zero clue what they are trying to get done or involved in or how difficult it might be to call back.

That is what kills me about all of this..you appear all irritated rather than just moving on and calling someone else and speaking to your DD and telling her that friend is not available. It happens and you both can deal with it rather than being annoyed that they aren't promptly returning your call when you know you called them while they were out and involved in a sporting event or something. If I was them I would be pissed that someone expects me to make them a priority over my family and the activities I am involved with my family..to me that is what you are doing. "I called while you are busy and I am mad you didn't stop/alter/cancel plans and call me right back". Get over it, move on and learn a lesson to plan in advance in the future.

I totally agree!

I don't understand the outrage at a busy Mom who received a call from a 6 year old. If the Mom did not call me, I would put it on my very lowest priority, thinking the 6 year old was calling without her Mom's permission. Especially since it was a birthday playdate, one I would have expected to be contacted about at least a week prior. A last minute birthday call for a playdate would make me think thait previous arrangements had gone south and my child was a last minute fill-in. Not something to jump through hoops about for the other mother.

This is YOUR responsibility to follow up, not the other mother's responsibility. As you have already admitted, it was last minute and the mother was already at some event. YOU were intruding into their lives.

Agreed!

I think you are misplacing your anger. You are upset that your dd is not having a wonderful day, but seem to have nothing planned. I don't see what good trying blame someone else for that is doing you. Wouldn't your time be better spent trying to make dd's day special rather than making it about someone else?

 

[mjkacmom]

If a person called me or my child the day of a birthday party to invite my child, I would not give them any priority. Why? Because to me, a last minute invite screams "nobody showed up, so they got desperate".

It's her birthday, so she asked her mom if she could invite the girl over for a playdate. How does this turn it into a birthday party? The girl didn't even tell the mom that it's her birthday? I saw no mention of a party in any of the OP's posts.

 

[LuLuO]

I have had people call me and have been busy with the kids or whatever and told them I'd call them back in a few minutes and then completely forgot to do it. Sometimes for a day or two.

If I were in your shoes, I'd just let it go and maybe try to arrange something for another weekend. You could get each girl a cupcake for a little belated celebration.

Happy Birthday to your DD!

 

[disykat]

It's her birthday, so she asked her mom if she could invite the girl over for a playdate. How does this turn it into a birthday party? The girl didn't even tell the mom that it's her birthday? I saw no mention of a party in any of the OP's posts.

OP implied that she is upset because the other mom know's it's her dd's birthday and feels like that makes it more wrong that she hasn't called back. No one said party, but it was implied that this is a "high stakes" playdate because it's dd's birthday.

 

[mjkacmom]

OP implied that she is upset because the other mom know's it's her dd's birthday and feels like that makes it more wrong that she hasn't called back. No one said party, but it was implied that this is a "high stakes" playdate because it's dd's birthday.

And I think the OP is wrong in thinking the other child's mom even knows it's her dd's birthday - not everyone lurks on facebook, and if my DH found out, through any means, that it was one of our kids' friends' birthday, he wouldn't think to mention it to me.

However, if the OP's dd told the mom that it was her birthday, and she wanted to know if they could have a playdate, a forgetful mom (like myself) would've been more likely to call back, even just to say we already had plans. I don't feel like the OP was upset that they didn't change their plans in order to accomodate a playdate, just the fact that they were waiting to hear either yes or no. Personally, after 1/2 hour, I'd send a quick text, or just invite someone else, and risk having 2 girls over (which would really be no biggy here - we have a pretty busy household with tons of kids all of the time).

 

[declansdad]

Didn't want the inlaws to take her because you wanted to spend the day with your daughter. Only wanted one friend over because you were doing too much to have have two friends over.

When were you going to spend time with your daughter?

 

[Judy Pink]

. Maybe its just me, but if someone calls me asking a question, I have the common courtesy to call, or at the very least text, them back and answer that question.

Not if they are 7. Sorry, the last think I want to do is promote a habit of a young child (non-family member) calling my cell

You should have arranged this birthday get together earlier.

 

[Judy Pink]

I told my DD right when we hung up that her 5 minutes probably wouldn't really be 5 minutes, and that she would have to be patient, but we are going on 4 hours now.

Why in the world would you sit in the house, on your child's birthday for FOUR hours Why didn't you take her somewhere fun? Or call someone else?

Four hours

 

[TheIncredibles!]

You left your child open for disappointment by not making these arrangements in advance instead of leaving it to the last minute and expecting the other family to want to comply with what your daughter wanted.

You have no right to be upset with the other family. Like the saying goes **** happens and your child's birthday is not their responsibility it's yours.

You also could have called somebody else and moved on right away. If they called back then you just let the girls chat - no need to let on that you had intended to invite their child over.

 

[kaleighmariesmom]

did they ever call back?

 

[Skywalker]

I cannot believe the way the OP is being jumped on in this thread. Well, actually I do believe it because it is so common...but it's really sad. So many assumptions being made about the OP's thoughts and motivations! Someone even calling the play date a birthday party and she would feel like she was being called after some no responses, when OP never called it a party...just a playdate.

How many folks really need to hit OP over the head with "she should have arranged it ahead"? And that mom should have called, not kid. Yup, that have helped for sure. But that ship has sailed and being told over and over must be frustrating. Why would it be so offensive that a little girl was calling her friend to come over for a playdate? OP has said over and over she wasn't expecting anyone to drop their plans. All they were doing was asking! My weekends are crazy busy with 2 kids and a husband who play soccer year around...not to mention church and regular household tasks so we are not usually available for playdates. But anyone is free to call and ask. And when we end up free (sometimes at the last minute) DD or DS may call a friend.

And I get the part of being annoyed at the lack of call back....and I get that the other Mom probably was busy and just forgot. Stuff happens. I probably would have called the other mom back in around a 1/2 hour just to find out if the kid was free or not....then we could call another friend.

I hope I never get to the point I am so judgmental and grumpy I pick people to pieces on an internet BB. So ridiculous

Ummmm....

 

[goofyintoronto]

Ond of DS's friends (both of them are 7) called after school yesterday to ask if DS could go with him to his karate test. The first words out of my mouth were "Let me talk to your dad."

Children that young have no business making plans on the phone. They can misunderstand a variable of things such as the when, where, and how for a playdate. Best to leave it to the adults until they are old enough to have a true understanding of time and scheduling. I also agree that it was likely too last minute for it to work out anyway. This of course is no reason to not call you back, but perhaps if it would have been you on the phone instead of your sweet DD, she may have remembered to call. I hope you guys have a great day and to your DD.

I agree with all of this. Knowing it was her birthday I would have arranged this well ahead of time. To call a parent on the weekend and ask about later that day you should expect they could/would be busy and not be prompt about calling you back (especially having 4 kids and likely plenty to do). Also for something this important I think YOU speaking to the parents was more important to get it worked out and arranged especially when the Mom answered the phone in the first place. The parents are the ones that make the ultimate decision.

I would chalk this up as a lesson learned and next time be sure to make arrangements for a play date well in advance especially for a special event like a birthday.

The part I really struggle with here is that you seem to act like because they saw a FB post of "happy birthday" they should for some reason be acting differently because they "know". Why? You didn't call until the day of..just because they know it is her birthday doesn't mean their plans/activities for the weekend are no longer necessary or that they can alter them at the last minute to accommodate a play date.

No I would not call or text back..they are busy..who knows what they have scheduled for the day.

Yup, i agree with these points!! last year (my son was 10) made plans a few times with a friend to come over after school. The very first time it happened I ASSUMED his friends mom knew about it so i called her up. She's like "what are you talking about?". I had no idea they planned this on their own. I felt so dumb when i was talking to her! She wasnt pleased either. lol. Not too long ago they did the same thing, the kid was over at my house after school (my mom was home with them). Im not even home from work yet and i get a text from his mom, the text read: "thanks for inviting Alex to come over and play......etc". I had no idea what was going on, i wasnt even home yet! But I played along and let it go, cause the kid was already at my place playing with my son. But i told my son in the future he MUST clear all plans with me first!!!!!! He finally learned.

My sons friends have (still do) call him for a play date. half the time i dont take them seriously because i always assume theyre calling behind their parents back. LOL. If my son wants to invite someone over, I never EVER let my son call up a friend on his own for a play date. Im always the one to ASK the parent myself. I think its totally inappropriate for the kid to do it. (but to have the kid rsvp for a bday party is a totally different thing).

For bdays, this definitely needs to be planned well in advance. Esp for a woman who has 4 kids, she needs at least 2 weeks notice. LOL.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Happy Birthday to your DD