WWYD? Trip with Another Family

[OneThree]

For our upcoming August trip we will be traveling with another family, neighbor friends from just down the street. We each have two kids and around the same ages, enjoy the same things, etc... however it seems they anticipate that we will just plan their trip for them or rather whatever we do they will do.

DW and I are Disneyland veterans so we know the ins an outs of the place, things to avoid, etc... Since this is our first trip with our kids we are only lightly planning since the kids will dictate the day and thats fine. One issue with the other family that has already arisen is the wife from the other couple is not an early riser, at all. I also don't want to be responsible for planning out their days in the park.

Is it rude of me to have a talk with them where I basically say I'm glad we are all doing this trip (I am) but please don't expect me to plan out your rides, meals, gate times, etc...

 

[maburke]

I have travelled with a variety of other families (both to WDW and DLR), and I've concluded that this is my best strategy: I plan for my family, and I tell the other family what we're doing when (email them the spreadsheet, if I've done one). Then I say that they are welcome to join for whatever part they want. If they aren't early risers, we won't wait for them. Sometimes part of the other family joins us, and sometimes they learn quickly that our way involves more fun than their way. And once, it seemed like the other family took my spreadsheet (at WDW) and scheduled their own plan so that we would never be together. Oh well, at least I had fun.

 

[ENJDisneyFan]

Here's what I would do. Plan out the trip the way YOUR family wants to do it. Then send them your itinerary and let them know that they are welcome to join you for any or all of your schedule, but don't plan around them at all. Make it clear that if you plan to leave early, you won't be waiting on them if they aren't ready. I've done many trips with large groups, where I'm the primary planner, and it has always worked out fine doing it that way.

Another option would be to plan a couple group events (dinner reservations, meeting up to see a parade, etc) but do your own thing the rest of the trip. It really depends on how much time you want to spend together. Good luck!

 

[Canuck16]

I agree with the OP not to wait for them if your family likes to hit RD. We are a RD as well and love getting to the parks early and enjoy the parks with low crowds.

If they are not into getting up early to hit RD with your family to take advantage of this then just Arrange for times when you can meet up for a meal or a certain point in the park. Maybe once they hear of all things that you have done and fun your family has had that they may want to join you early.

Good luck and have a great trip!!!

 

[elaine amj]

I would just plan to go first thing in the morning and invite them to meet you either at lunchtime or for dinnertime. I typically like to schedule meetups for easy things like shows, nighttime parades/fireworks, or meals.

If u don't want to take the responsibility of planning their trip, then you should discuss it with them. Something casual like - hey, we have gone many times before (and will likely go again) so I expect you will have different must-do lists. I don't want you to miss any of your must-dos so here's a website you should look through for planning tips/ideas. We always go early and I know you like to sleep in, so why don't we see if we can meet up for lunch/afternoon parade? I'm planning to be at xx at xx time - that might be a good time to meet up. Don't worry if you guys want to do different things - we can easily join up and split up throughout the trip.

And then in your planning process or during the trip, invite them for a few things. I've learned I need to check with DH first before I join up with folks as he likes times with just our family too. Same with my DD. Having alternate morning plans and suggesting joining up later in the day is good for this. Sometimes though, we are joined at the hip with another family. One of our trips was like that and we were all happy about it. It did help that we stayed on an extra day after they left so could focus on our family's wants then.

 

[hanna-nana]

I probably wouldn't address it straight out. But if you're making dining reservations, I'd say "hey, I'm making XYZ reservations if you were interested in joining" and see where he conversation goes. But no, I wouldn't wait for them in the morning. Text them a "we're headed to the parks, text us when you're on your way if you want to meet up"

Chances are your kids will tell them what fun they had and the next Meiji f they'll beg their parents to join you.

 

[smartlabelprint]

There are some people I love traveling with. These wouldn't be those people.

I wouldn't sit down and have "a talk" but as pp mention I'd casually bring up your plans and what they are welcome to do with your family.

 

[Geemo]

For our upcoming August trip we will be traveling with another family, neighbor friends from just down the street. We each have two kids and around the same ages, enjoy the same things, etc... however it seems they anticipate that we will just plan their trip for them or rather whatever we do they will do.

DW and I are Disneyland veterans so we know the ins an outs of the place, things to avoid, etc... Since this is our first trip with our kids we are only lightly planning since the kids will dictate the day and thats fine. One issue with the other family that has already arisen is the wife from the other couple is not an early riser, at all. I also don't want to be responsible for planning out their days in the park.

Is it rude of me to have a talk with them where I basically say I'm glad we are all doing this trip (I am) but please don't expect me to plan out your rides, meals, gate times, etc...

August will be here before you know it. Talk with them now, so THEY will have time to make their own plans too.

Let them know....
It would be nice if as a family, they could make plans for their own special Disney family magic.
The planning phase is something that is best done ahead of time with a little internet time on Disney websites.
To look online so they'll know if there will be limits with height requirements.
YouTube is something they can review for the various rides. This will help them to know if any rides will be an issue.
You can add more since you are Disney Vets.

It can be a real challenge to go with another family when everyone's not in the same mind set. Better to let them know your feelings before the trip.

Geemo

 

[Disney_Alli]

I know everyone else suggested not having a talk with them but I think you should have a talk with them. Figure out what everyone 's expectations are for the trip now so you don't end up with hurt feelings or resentment later. Maybe you agree to tour together, maybe you agree to meet up food or meal a day, maybe it's something in between but if you set clear expectations then everyone is on the same page.

 

[corinne76]

I'm not confrontational, so I'd tell them they can hit the parks in the morning and have some family time, experience all the new things (esp if it's their first time) and meet up at a certain time (like 3pm or whatever) to eat together, child swap and do rides, etc. I'd play up the part about them getting that special family alone time and experiencing all that DL has to offer, and downplay the "alone" or separate factor.

We did a trip with my bff, her boyfriend and their 2 kids a couple years ago and this plan worked out great. We did stuff together each day, but also got our own family time. Plus, our younger kids were only 1 and 2, so they watched our son while DH and I took our daughter on a ride, and we watched their daughter when they had a turn. It worked out very well .

 

[OneThree]

Good stuff everyone! Much appreciated!

 

[OneThree]

I'm not confrontational, so I'd tell them they can hit the parks in the morning and have some family time, experience all the new things (esp if it's their first time) and meet up at a certain time (like 3pm or whatever) to eat together, child swap and do rides, etc. I'd play up the part about them getting that special family alone time and experiencing all that DL has to offer, and downplay the "alone" or separate factor.

We did a trip with my bff, her boyfriend and their 2 kids a couple years ago and this plan worked out great. We did stuff together each day, but also got our own family time. Plus, our younger kids were only 1 and 2, so they watched our son while DH and I took our daughter on a ride, and we watched their daughter when they had a turn. It worked out very well .

Glad it worked out for you. I can tell you we will definitely not "child swap" though. We love their boys but their dad is away a lot (military) and they have momma wrapped around their finger. That don't fly in my house and that comes right from my DW. LOL

 

[ParkHopper1]

I did a group trip a while back with a few friends and families at it started out as a disaster. It was like trying to heard cats...we all tried to stay together, meeting at the same time, getting to the park at the same time...all had different expectations.

We ended up all splitting up and going our separate ways for a while...and everyone was mixed up....we had some other kids, people that came with us split to other groups...some of us hit rides hard, others went shopping...others hit the bar...then we would all meet up for a meal, a show, or all hit an attraction together...reshuffle people to different groups and off we would go again. Ended up being a great way to do it and everyone left much happier than they started.

Think of it as you are the train conductor...set YOUR departure time, schedule and speed letting everyone know the plan but let the others get on and off as they they want and spend as much time at each stop...and don't be worried about leaving someone behind, they will catch up to ya at the next station.

 

[corinne76]

Glad it worked out for you. I can tell you we will definitely not "child swap" though. We love their boys but their dad is away a lot (military) and they have momma wrapped around their finger. That don't fly in my house and that comes right from my DW. LOL

oh my friends kids were (they've gotten much better) not very good listeners. We only swapped for the duration of the ride. They watched my son for what, 5 min max, while we took our 5yr old, and then we would watch their 1 yr old while they took their son on a ride. and this was ONLY rides where the littles couldn't ride, like Splash Mountain.

 

[sherilaine]

I would not necessarily sit down and tell them 'I am not planning out your days' unless they have specifically asked you to do so. If they have, I'd give them suggestions but I'd not give them a play book.

If they have no asked, then in advance of the trip I'd give them a basic outline of what we are planning - what days/which park/any dining reservations/shows etc, where we plan to shop, spend any sort of break days etc. Let them know what time you plan to leave in the morning and that they can text/call you when they arrive to meet up if it works out. I'd not be someone else's parent, I have my own kids. If they want to sleep in and arrive late and wait in longer lines then let them - it's their vacation too.

I think going on a trip like this with friends would be fun but we do not have friends or family that I'd want to be with the entire time - maybe a morning, afternoon or evening per day but certainly not the entire day, every day, as that would be tired really fast. I also know that our style of showing up early and walking fast, pulling fast passes often and getting a lot done and then taking an afternoon break might not work for others. I also know that I'd likely get on more relaxed peoples nerves as we know the place so well and I'd not want to sound like a cast member the entire trip.

I hope you have a great time.

 

[starry_solo]

Sit down and talk with them. Ask them what they plan to do on their trip and whether they've made plans for ADR (you still have a few months to do that) as well as other things.

Are you staying at the same hotel? Suites next to each other, etc.?

I would just make my own plans, let them know about it, and say they are welcome to join you (or not).

 

[Indiana Scott]

I would not tell them "I'm not going to plan your rides" - that odes have a bad tone to it. I would simply tell them you are early risers so will be in the park early and will catch up with them later in the day. You both need your own time anyway.

 

[SplashMo]

Simply plan out your trip. Give them a map to both parks. A spreadsheet with the basic plan. Have them text you in the morning once they wake up and have arrived in the park. Perhaps include them in dinner reservations and possibly lunch reservations...

 

[farmfresh]

I've done this several times now and it does make a difference given the nature of the other family! However, I've always enjoyed helping to plan out the trip for everyone - sounds like you are as not keen to do this! I also like seeing the park through visitors' eyes, especially if they haven't been before. I would lay out what you are planning to do, and see what parts they would like to join in on. It has also been helpful for me to ask my friends what they are interested in, and then explain how best to achieve that (eg getting up early is pretty helpful if you don't want to wait forever to ride PP!) If your friends haven't been as often they may actually want to do more, especially if you are more laid back and really just following the kids on this trip. On our own, we would happily skip parades: but with others we have taken the time to see them because that's what they were interested in.And likewise, some have got onto rides they would otherwise have avoided!. I think it is a two way street, and a pretrip meeting, (with snacks! maybe wine!) could be fun and very helpful to put you all on the same page.

In general though I can highly recommend group visits - great memories for all involved!

O

 

[VandVsmama]

I totally agree w/everybody else's suggestions. I would swear that there was a DIS Unplugged podcast about this exact subject - or one like it (i.e., travelling with extended family or something like that) and there were lots of great suggestions in that podcast, all of which have been mentioned here.

I've done what the other folks have suggested - on 1 trip a few years ago, we were to meet up in the late afternoon at DL with a friend who lives in the area. We had arranged to meet at a certain spot at a certain time and, in this particular circumstance, she was quite late. So we waited for her for 5 min at the meet-up location near POTC and then we went on our merry way going on other rides. She ended up finally getting inside the park a full hour after we had originally planned. And I was SO glad for everyone's advice here on these boards to not wait for stragglers like that. Thanks to smart phones, she would just text me when she was getting closer and I would text her back with where we were at that moment so she could catch up with us.

I suspect that a similar approach might work for you & the other family that you're travelling with. I fully support the concept of setting expectations ahead of time for everybody going on your trip. For example, Hydroguy had a great post that's 1 of the sticky threads about having each person pick THE #1 attraction that they MUST see/do/go on during the trip...and you make sure that you go to those attractions on day 1 (because if the attraction breaks down then you still have a couple more days to try again).

That alone has been an awesome suggestion that our family totally follows. When we didn't follow that rule, at least 1 of us ended up super grumpy because his/her expectations/hopes for the trip were not met.

If YOUR family are early risers and you usually get there for rope drop or soon after, DO NOT alter your normal touring strategy just for this family. Just casually tell them ahead of time, "Hey, on Day 1, the park opens at __ time, so we're going to be at the main gate by __ time for rope drop. If you're up early that day, you should totally join us! If you'd like to sleep in or chill out and have a nice breakfast, you should totally do that and just call/text me when you guys get into the park and we can meet up."

Then plan on maybe going on 1 or 2 rides together...eat about 1 meal per day together...and go your separate ways so their family can have some family alone time together (they will likely protest, but they will thank you later).