WWYD?? Trip problem already! yuch!

[pennst8r]

If MIL wants to go, tell her your hotel plans and give her the phone #--tell her to call and make her own ressie.

I've done this with my parents--even tho I love them to death and hope they do come with us! But even at that, I do not want the reponsibility of someone else 24/7.

A vacation is to get AWAY from everything....don't bring all the problems with you!

 

[pyrxtc]

DH has changed his mind and he is not going to let DD spend this coming week with MIL as originally planned. He is going to talk to his ex and see if she'll take the heat for DD not going next week. I hope she will. She hates DD atitude as much as we do.

MIL just knows the dates we will be there and doesn't have a clue about itinerary. She wants to wing it down there and we're gonna let her. we wil be up and gone before she even gets out of bed.

 

[pyrxtc]

Ok this one might need to be translated. I assume it was written in the language of anger lol.

Sorry, we ARE not doing anything

 

[kelleigh1]

I'm a little confused. Is DD your daughter, his daughter or your daughter together? Is she going to miss out on a trip to WDW now because he doesn't want her in the room with MIL?

Anyway, that aside, your husband needs to have a serious talk with his mother and he needs to tell her that if she does not stop bad-mouthing you to DD, then she will not be spending anytime with her. Regardless of anything else, she has no right to bad-mouth you to DD and he needs to put his foot down and tell her so.

 

[pyrxtc]

I'm a little confused. Is DD your daughter, his daughter or your daughter together? Is she going to miss out on a trip to WDW now because he doesn't want her in the room with MIL?

Anyway, that aside, your husband needs to have a serious talk with his mother and he needs to tell her that if she does not stop bad-mouthing you to DD, then she will not be spending anytime with her. Regardless of anything else, she has no right to bad-mouth you to DD and he needs to put his foot down and tell her so.

This is his DD from his first marriage. we have 3 other kids that she neglects. Our two DD's and babysitter (if she comes) were going to be in MIL's room. we paid for half the room. DD will be coming no matter wha. If MIL decides not to come, the room is in my name. Hopefully Uncle will still come. He is an awesome guy, we love him!

 

[MELSMICE]

I don't envy the fact that your in this position.

I don't think anyone on these boards would want to vacation with a situation such as yours, but if you must........................

Is it possible to sit down with the kids & casually start a conversation about how sometimes people say nasty things about others & make judgements about others which can be totally wrong.

I don't mean that you should single out your MIL (even though you would want to!!) but somehow get your kids to understand how people can be mean & that the things they can say can have other people form opinions that are not always correct. Tell them that they shouldn't listen to bad things that people say about others.

Just a thought - I don't know how old your kids are & if that would even make an impression, but maybe they'll get a clue that "gramma" isn't always so nice to people & they'll just ignore her. You can always hope, right!

 

[danalee]

Well first I can say "I feel your pain" we just returned this morning from our trip and my MIL went along, and as always was a major pain!
My hubby doesent say much, likes to keep the peace, I on the other hand will snap back. I forwarned my hubby that I will "play nice" for the sake of the other 8 people on our trip.............BUT.........I do have my breaking points so I am sure that at some point on the trip......"its on" and it was!!!

The first day she started with the, its hot, how far do we have to walk, we have to wait how long, all of which I told her many many many times before the trip, but she still likes to whine.
The second day in it really started, like we knew it would, but we did ask her to go along knowing it would have it bumps to say the least, (we pleaded temorary insanity to everyone else on the trip mostly my family) but I just decided early on that we were going to go on with our plans, do what we wanted when we wanted to and she either came along or didnt and needless to say she was in her hotel room alot, all the better for us!

I kept my cool for awhile and after hours of her whining and complaing she says (for the 5th time in an hour) "I would never come back here" I calmly turned around and said "dont worry you wont be asked again" I got a ........big "hump" and a "well I never" and it was soooooooo quiet after that!!! everyone thanked me!

So I say tell her once, nicely, but firmly! Just like a misbehaving child!
Dont let it ruin your trip, like I told my hubby "we worked long and hard for this trip and I want to enjoy it....even if your mother comes along"! and you can always look at it like this, the way I am right now, I can plan my next trip knowing she wont be coming along

 

[sixcats]

I've got some lovely stories from trips with ils. You have my sympathy. If possible, I'd get one room that could fit my whole family. Six can fit in a FW cabin.

It has gotten to the point where we will spend only one evening with family.

 

[pixiedust23]

From the position of the child, let it be known that we are very aware of when grandmas being well a B****. My grandma on my dad's side never approved of my mom or anyone who married any of her children for that matter. And she took favorites with the grandkids too. I wasnt one of them. I never cared. The whole family knew that she tried to pit everyone against everyone. I'm sure your kids are aware that grandma might not be the nicest and that its not them. Does she act this way towards any of the cousins either? Have you tried talking to your kids about her? I think that might be the best route. Good luck!

 

[jann1033]

pretty much why i don't like to go with relatives( hoping however son in law doesn't feel the same way))
i'd try to get it out in the open..maybe if she seems to get mad and hold grudges she wont 'go and fix your problem

also every situation is different of course but mil tried to say mean things about me to daughters and now yrs later they still dislike her immensly due to it..maybe you could have a
nice talk with dd and tell her those things just aren't true. always harder of course when it's step kids