WWYD -- Parenting Dilemma

[OceanAnnie]

I encourage our kids to eat something healthy first when they get home from school. I give them lots of options. Then if they have room they can have a treat. I'd rather them fill up on the good stuff.

 

[kaytieeldr]

As for sneaking or stealing, I say it's both. Sneaking is something you do behind someone's back and stealing is taking something that doesn't belong to you. So he did sneak into the pantry to steal the candy. I'm with the OP on this one. I would make them eat something nasty like Brussels sprouts with dinner every time they steal the sweats.
What I do when the kids ask for sweats, I tell them to get some fruit or yogurt first. Often times after the fruit they forget or are not hungry any more. If the still want it then I live up to my word and give them some but a smaller portion is enough to satisfy them because their belly is full from the fruit.

While Brussels sprouts aren't on my top ten list of favorite vegetables, using vegetables (or any food) as punishment is just completely sending the entirely wrong message.

And if my kids were stealing sweats (not sneaking sweets as is the topic of this thread), absolutely retail security and/or the police would be involved.

 

[castleview]

OP, I behaved similarly to your children when I was a kid. Why? Because my mother controlled everything I ate and made me feel like dirt if I ate too many sweets. My dad was also critical of what we ate, even though he ate the same stuff. They actually left a note on the cookie jar one day telling us to have two cookies when we got home and grounded us later for having far more - hello, it's sugar. Who can eat only two? I could tell you that my eating issues didn't resolve for quite some time. When I got a job in high school, I bought a lot of candy that I ate before I got home and when I was in college, I had some "closet eating" problems.

If this is upsetting you so much then cut back on the amount of candy in the house, stock more healthy foods, be a good role model foodwise, and bake/cook more healthy snacks. Better yet, don't make food an issue. I cook healthy as much as possible, even though there are times it feels like we are eating out too much (especially now with end of school year and sports activities). If the kids wolf down a box of Lucky Charms on some days - well, there won't be any Lucky Charms the next day obviously. They will learn which foods make them feel better, feel awful, and provide nutrients for them as long as you gently discuss food choices without making them feel guilty about them.

ETA: The food pantry in my house also belongs to the kids. Why would you make them feel guilty about that? If they went into your wallet, I get that. But the food pantry? They are growing creatures and need access to it.

 

[dogluva]

While Brussels sprouts aren't on my top ten list of favorite vegetables, using vegetables (or any food) as punishment is just completely sending the entirely wrong message.

And if my kids were stealing sweats (not sneaking sweets as is the topic of this thread), absolutely retail security and/or the police would be involved.

I love Brussels sprouts and so do my kids!

 

[RadioNate]

I love Brussels sprouts and so do my kids!

I missed that too. I too love brussel sprouts so do my kids. The same kids that I really allow to have small amounts of candy any time they want.

 

[castleview]

I love Brussels sprouts and so do my kids!

Mine aren't there yet, but each kid has a vegetable they like - and no, they are not the same! What's fascinating in our house is that the middle child is the worst junk food addict, but the only one who LOVES kale.

 

[dogluva]

I missed that too. I too love brussel sprouts so do my kids. The same kids that I really allow to have small amounts of candy any time they want.

I have six kids and would never have time to police their food intake.

 

[Buckalew11]

I love Brussels sprouts and so do my kids!

Mine asks for them also. I hated them growing up but I slice them and roast them and they are very good.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I love Brussels sprouts and so do my kids!

Oh, I'll eat 'em. Carrots are lower on my list. Cauliflower is higher after I finally tried it for the first time just a couple of years ago.

But using ANY vegetable as punishment as suggested in the post I quoted? Bad, and, bad idea!

 

[NoSoup4U]

I have six kids and would never have time to police their food intake.

Good heavens 6 kids???? Bless you! Are any of your kids twins? You must have a lot of patience.

And ya, with 6 kids where would you find the time to monitor everything? You'd need to hire someone for that. Lol

 

[Buckalew11]

Oh, I'll eat 'em. Carrots are lower on my list. Cauliflower is higher after I finally tried it for the first time just a couple of years ago.

But using ANY vegetable as punishment as suggested in the post I quoted? Bad, and, bad idea!

I agree. Nor did I ever, ever take reading away from DD. She drove me crazy reading all the time--trying to make her bed with one hand while the book in the other, . I'd take away anything, I do believe, but never, ever, reading and reading was never going to be used as a punishment either.

 

[Rence]

My first thought was to let them deal with the consequences of their actions. The candy they are eating was purchased for baking. So if the candy is all eaten, it impacts the baking.

I would bake the cookies that use the kisses or peanut butter cups and omit the candy. The cookies will be OK, but they won't be as good as if they contained the candy. Give them these cookies in their lunch and just explain that there was no candy to add to the cookies, so this week they are getting plain cookies.

 

[dogluva]

Good heavens 6 kids???? Bless you! Are any of your kids twins? You must have a lot of patience.

And ya, with 6 kids where would you find the time to monitor everything? You'd need to hire someone for that. Lol

No tins and no food issues! I am always a the store due to two adolescents boys! I cannot seem to fill them up for long, thankfully my oldest daughter works at the market so she brings me home things we are out of!

 

[Aliceacc]

My first thought was to let them deal with the consequences of their actions. The candy they are eating was purchased for baking. So if the candy is all eaten, it impacts the baking.

I would bake the cookies that use the kisses or peanut butter cups and omit the candy. The cookies will be OK, but they won't be as good as if they contained the candy. Give them these cookies in their lunch and just explain that there was no candy to add to the cookies, so this week they are getting plain cookies.

Just as an aside, I took a look at your blog. Would you mind if I posted a link to it on my teacher webpage? I teach high school math and math SAT prep, and my kids could certainly use them.

 

[NoSoup4U]

No tins and no food issues! I am always a the store due to two adolescents boys! I cannot seem to fill them up for long, thankfully my oldest daughter works at the market so she brings me home things we are out of!

I can imagine! your grocery bill must be 12 times more than mine! (I only have one child).

 

[cheer25mom]

No I'm not saying it is withheld when bad, I'm saying they eat really healthy, they know what they are eating and if it is good or not, and they know candy isn't in their daily diet, but if they were good, or as a special treat, and they asked for it they would get it. They don't buy candy and treats because its not good for their body's, but they do get it on a good or special day, I don't think a mom is going to go to the candy store with a screaming child demanding candy.

I still say food should NEVER be a punishment or reward. Tying ones accomplishments or lack thereof to food is a BAD idea. Candy for a good day sets them up for rewarding themselves with food as adults. Believe my, I know. Notevery child will end up there, but many who are rewarded with food will. The converse, no candy if they ask for it on a bad day still ties behavior to food. You can justify it all day, but tying behavior to food in ANY way is NOT a good idea. Candy on a "good or special day" only dose just that.