Wwyd - neighbor question

[just4today]

Normally I'm more of a MYOB kind of neighbor. I like my privacy so I try to respect others' privacy as well.

One of my neighbors recently had their 14yr old step-son move in with them. All the kids of the neighborhood kids get on the school bus at the same place - 1/2 mile down our dirt road. This boy has been driving himself and his two younger brothers to the bus stop and leaving his old, beater truck parked there. I didn't think much of it because it's only a short distance on our private road - no real chance of anything happening.

However, in the past couple of weeks he has been driving down to the bus stop, dropping off his brothers, then going back to the house. Later in the day I see the truck is not parked along the road as it used to be. Then yesterday I saw him actually driving out on the main road. I suspect he has been driving himself to school.

As I said, normally I would MYOB and that is what I'm inclined to do here. But it nags at me to think that if I say nothing and this 14yr old unlicensed driver has an accident or something happens, I might have been able to prevent it.

Would you say something, and if so, who would you say it to?

 

[java]

Are you sure he is 14?

 

[just4today]

Are you sure he is 14?

Yes. My DD, who is also 14, knows him at school.

 

[*BTMRR*]

I think I would call the police non-emergency number and tell them exactly what you posted. You can leave it up to them whether something should be done or not. Like you I'm usually a MYOB type neighbor but this is something that really does threaten others' safety and is happening on a regular basis.

 

[golfgal]

It is possible he has a license. Some states allow kids to get a license at 14, either a farm permit or a regular driver's license with restricted driving times. Where did he move from?

 

[freckles and boo]

Could you get the school involved? They would know if he is legally old enough to drive and would probably be obligated to step in and get the facts.

 

[just4today]

It is possible he has a license. Some states allow kids to get a license at 14, either a farm permit or a regular driver's license with restricted driving times. Where did he move from?

I'm not sure where he moved from, but I think it was somewhere close by since DD already knew him at school. But, our state allows a learner permit at 15, full license to drive unaccompanied at 16, so I don't think he could legally drive even if he did have a license from another state. Not sure about that.

Could you get the school involved? They would know if he is legally old enough to drive and would probably be obligated to step in and get the facts.

I guess I would be more inclined to do that than to call the police.

 

[froglady]

If he is parking off campus (which is likely) the school may not want (or be able) to get involved.

I would be more concerned about having an unlicensed driver driving on my property. I know you think it's unlikely that anything could happen, but if it did, YOU would be responsible. I would not allow it to continue.

As much as you may want to avoid it, it's time to have a talk with his parents/grandparents.

 

[KAMLEM]

It is possible he has a license. Some states allow kids to get a license at 14, either a farm permit or a regular driver's license with restricted driving times. Where did he move from?

Why would it matter where he moved from? If he's not old enough to drive where he lives now he's still driving illegally, right?

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

Does your state allow school permits? In my town, all of the country kids had school permits at 15 to allow them to drive to school and school activities?

 

[froglady]

BTW, it's possible that he's older than 14, even though he's in the same class as your 14 year olds, especially since he's a boy.

My son (a spring birthday) has many classmates more than a year older than he, because their parents delayed starting kindergarten. If he was retained afterwards, he could very easily be 16.

 

[just4today]

If he is parking off campus (which is likely) the school may not want (or be able) to get involved.

I would be more concerned about having an unlicensed driver driving on my property. I know you think it's unlikely that anything could happen, but if it did, YOU would be responsible. I would not allow it to continue.

As much as you may want to avoid it, it's time to have a talk with his parents/grandparents.

There is no where off campus he could park. The school sits on it's own isolated piece of land. He is not on my property. We live in a subdivision - everybody in the subdivision owns the road.

Does your state allow school permits? In my town, all of the country kids had school permits at 15 to allow them to drive to school and school activities?

No, our state does not offer that (to my knowledge). I have two older step-daughters who both had to wait until age 16 to drive. Since they were both heavy into after school activities, I have no doubt they would have wanted to get such a permit if it existed.

 

[just4today]

BTW, it's possible that he's older than 14, even though he's in the same class as your 14 year olds, especially since he's a boy.

My son (a spring birthday) has many classmates more than a year older than he, because their parents delayed starting kindergarten. If he was retained afterwards, he could very easily be 16.

Yes, it is possible. I have only DD's word to go by. I asked her very casually several weeks ago how old he is and she said "14." He is in the 9th grade, although that doesn't always mean anything either.

 

[kellyg403]

THis is a bit of hard one, simply because there are too many things you know but don't know...kwim? Like another said, he could be older if though he is in the same grade as your 14 yo, my dsd17 is one year older than her peers because she was kept back in first grade. She will be 18 as a jr in hs. Technically she could have started driving at the end of 8th grade because of age. Like another said, maybe the state he comes from he has a license and has been driving on that license and not planning on getting a new one since he is staying due to a family situation and going back home soon.

The thing that sticks out to me though is that he is driving the younger boys in the truck to the bus stop. If it were me, I would want to know! I think I would go over and speak to the parents. It could backfire though. If he is old enough, does have a license you will be the nosey neighbor. But hey, I would rather be the nosey neighbor than watch as he gets in an accident. Then the parents will be responsibile. Are the parents gone to work before they are going to school? That would be one thing I would want to know. If they aren't they have to know he is driving.

Kelly

 

[just4today]

THis is a bit of hard one, simply because there are too many things you know but don't know...kwim? Like another said, he could be older if though he is in the same grade as your 14 yo, my dsd17 is one year older than her peers because she was kept back in first grade. She will be 18 as a jr in hs. Technically she could have started driving at the end of 8th grade because of age. Like another said, maybe the state he comes from he has a license and has been driving on that license and not planning on getting a new one since he is staying due to a family situation and going back home soon.

The thing that sticks out to me though is that he is driving the younger boys in the truck to the bus stop. If it were me, I would want to know! I think I would go over and speak to the parents. It could backfire though. If he is old enough, does have a license you will be the nosey neighbor. But hey, I would rather be the nosey neighbor than watch as he gets in an accident. Then the parents will be responsibile. Are the parents gone to work before they are going to school? That would be one thing I would want to know. If they aren't they have to know he is driving.

Kelly

I don't know the family at all. The mother is another one who glares at me as she drives by, but since I've never talked to her I try not to take it too personally. I live in the country and some people are just like that - they are keep to themselves, private, and suspicious. Talking to the family is not something I will do. I will either say something to the school or stay out of it altogether. It just nags at me.

 

[golfgal]

Why would it matter where he moved from? If he's not old enough to drive where he lives now he's still driving illegally, right?

No, if he is licensed in another state that license would be recognized in other states as well. In MN you get your license at 16 but in NJ it is 17. My 16 year old could still drive legally in NJ. Actually in MN you can get a farm permit at 14. In South Dakota you can get a license to drive at age 14.

 

[rgf207]

It is possible he has a license. Some states allow kids to get a license at 14, either a farm permit or a regular driver's license with restricted driving times. Where did he move from?

This is true but with those types of licenses, you are not allowed to drive on main roads, only on your farm land.

I would call the police non-emergency number. If they investigate and he is licensed, than there is no problem. If not, maybe you just saved someones life.

 

[golfgal]

This is true but with those types of licenses, you are not allowed to drive on main roads, only on your farm land.

I would call the police non-emergency number. If they investigate and he is licensed, than there is no problem. If not, maybe you just saved someones life.

That is not true at all, at least not around here. Kids with farm permits can drive everywhere. They aren't supposed to drive after midnight though. They are called farm permits because you do need to live on a farm to get one or you can get one if your family can prove a need for you to drive, say a disabled parent and someone in the family needs to be able to drive.

 

[DawnCt1]

I don't know the family at all. The mother is another one who glares at me as she drives by, but since I've never talked to her I try not to take it too personally. I live in the country and some people are just like that - they are keep to themselves, private, and suspicious. Talking to the family is not something I will do. I will either say something to the school or stay out of it altogether. It just nags at me.

Well, I was going to suggest talking to the parents, but her behavior limits that. I would call the principal directly, ask that the call be kept strictly confidential, and ask if he would see if the child is driving himself. If that doesn't work, call the police.

 

[rgf207]

That is not true at all, at least not around here. Kids with farm permits can drive everywhere. They aren't supposed to drive after midnight though. They are called farm permits because you do need to live on a farm to get one or you can get one if your family can prove a need for you to drive, say a disabled parent and someone in the family needs to be able to drive.

It is true where I came from