WWYD: My daughter's college professor is constantly cancelling class

[wvjules]

Questionable policies of the university? This thread started over an over involved parent.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

No she shouldn't.

There is no obligation to post every item of an inquiry. I have seen this before. "Oh, why are you only now telling us this detail." Sometimes it is used to bring doubt to the posters credibility. "You never told us that before, so why should we believe you now." Baloney. We briefly post here for information, advice, amusement. During the process of discussion, new information and ideas come out.

More importantly, it is nothing to do with the questionable policies of the university, which is what this thread is about (or should have been).

While the background information should not be used as a justification of name calling, such information helps to frame the topic and responses.

It isn't always about a gotcha moment.

Note that once she mentioned it, no one accused the OP of anything. They went on to address the anxiety.

But knowing that at the start might have made it a little more understandable why the OP was "interfering" in a style that may seem to be "helicoptering".

While it has nothing to do with the policies, it certainly is a key piece of information in framing suggestions that might make sense for the student. It also helps to explain OP's choice to call even if maybe was not the best choice.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Questionable policies of the university? This thread started over an over involved parent.

I think that refers to a professor being permitted to cancel classes 4 weeks in a row with seemingly no method to address even justifiable reasons for doing so.

 

[NewRVLady]

No she shouldn't.

There is no obligation to post every item of an inquiry. I have seen this before. "Oh, why are you only now telling us this detail." Sometimes it is used to bring doubt to the posters credibility. "You never told us that before, so why should we believe you now." Baloney. We briefly post here for information, advice, amusement. During the process of discussion, new information and ideas come out.

More importantly, it is nothing to do with the questionable policies of the university, which is what this thread is about (or should have been).

sure she doesn't HAVE to


However this is the second RECENT Mom of College kid THREAD that seemed way "overprotective and involved"
and BOTH times the Mom came back and gave legitimate reasons why they are

(- the "tracking my college kids cell phone" Mom had a DD with serious health issues )

 

[scrapquitler]

She has a counselor back here at home she works with for 1.5 hours each week. Perhaps she can focus on some of the college issues with him when she gets back in May. Not having someone to guide and support her during the school year is why she relies on us as parents for situations that are difficult for her to get through on her own. We really aren't sure WHAT she actually needs help with half the time. Sometimes it seems like advice, and other times it seems like she'd rather have us take care of initiating action.

Most colleges have a counseling center whose singular function is to help students deal with mental health issues. I would suggest that you have your daughter find out what kind of help she can get at the campus counseling center and then she can talk to someone there who might be able to effectively help her work thru problems such as how to deal with her anxiety and how to approach a professor when there is a question about something like this. Then she can learn strategies that will help her not only now, but as she moves on to adulthood and becomes more independent, because these kinds of issues are going to come up with employers and coworkers once she is out of college.

 

[sk!mom]

OP, are you getting these emails yourself? It seems like you are too involved. The majority of parents with children away at school have no idea about the day to day of their kids classes.

Agreed, my DD19 is a sophomore and I do not get any communication from the school. I like it that way. Even with paying school bills and her rent, DH transfers the money to her and she pays. We want her to see just how expensive it all is and have the experience of handling every aspect.

It's a 300 level course in her major. She is very academic focused. She isn't your typical young adult at college who likes to get involved in clubs, parties, social events, etc. You can find her at the library or studying. She places her own pressures with maintaining a high GPA.

Are you sure that it's all pressure that she puts on herself? You seem really tightly wound about a situation that many college parents wouldn't be involved in at all. It might be helpful to model some "chill" for her.

Labeling me a helicopter mom, carrying the conversation over to your other happy place discussion board, and even creating a spin-off on this board about helicoptering parents really wasn't the discussion I had in mind when I came here to vent and seek out advice over one issue.

There can be a lot of cruel people on here who don't take the time to truly offer suggestions and words of wisdom, but rather belittle and show disrespect.
It costs nothing to be kind. You have no idea what another family might be going through. Be kind anyway.

Agree. Maybe you could grant some of that same grace to the professor. I find it highly unlikely that he is cancelling that often without a really good reason.

Most colleges have a counseling center whose singular function is to help students deal with mental health issues. I would suggest that you have your daughter find out what kind of help she can get at the campus counseling center and then she can talk to someone there who might be able to effectively help her work thru problems such as how to deal with her anxiety and how to approach a professor when there is a question about something like this. Then she can learn strategies that will help her not only now, but as she moves on to adulthood and becomes more independent, because these kinds of issues are going to come up with employers and coworkers once she is out of college.

Yes! OP if your DD is having difficulty coping then definitely look into support in her college town.

 

[bdcp]

I think that refers to a professor being permitted to cancel classes 4 weeks in a row with seemingly no method to address even justifiable reasons for doing so.

That is really between the professor and the school. More than likely, the head of the Dept and the Dean know exactly why he is cancelling and the OP doesn't. The "child" is an adult and she needs to deal with it if she chooses to. Mommy needs to stay out of it. My boys (29 and 32 now) went away to school. They would vent sometimes to me and let me know what was going on, but I NEVER contacted the school. They handled any issue that came up. I would hope the OP doesn't believe that the University doesn't know. Not to mention, the OP's daughter isn't the only student in the class. OP, let the system work and let your daughter be an adult.

Once our boys were out of the dorm (jr and sr year) we sent them a check every month with rent and a bit more to pay utilities and supplement their meals. They then paid their own bills. Heck, our deal always was they worked summers and bought their own books and paid for their entertainment. We paid, tuition and room and most of their "board". They learned a lot from that and to this day are great at budgeting and paying their way.

There are way too many young adults today that have no clue how to do anything because mommy and daddy always did it for them. They also expect the world to treat them the way their parents did. Everyone has to grow up and take care of themselves.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

That is really between the professor and the school. More than likely, the head of the Dept and the Dean know exactly why he is cancelling and the OP doesn't. The "child" is an adult and she needs to deal with it if she chooses to. Mommy needs to stay out of it. My boys (29 and 32 now) went away to school. They would vent sometimes to me and let me know what was going on, but I NEVER contacted the school. They handled any issue that came up. I would hope the OP doesn't believe that the University doesn't know. Not to mention, the OP's daughter isn't the only student in the class. OP, let the system work and let your daughter be an adult.

Once our boys were out of the dorm (jr and sr year) we sent them a check every month with rent and a bit more to pay utilities and supplement their meals. They then paid their own bills. Heck, our deal always was they worked summers and bought their own books and paid for their entertainment. We paid, tuition and room and most of their "board". They learned a lot from that and to this day are great at budgeting and paying their way.

There are way too many young adults today that have no clue how to do anything because mommy and daddy always did it for them. They also expect the world to treat them the way their parents did. Everyone has to grow up and take care of themselves.

I'm not sure you got what I was saying.

The reason is between the professor and the school.

The students, IMO, have every right to their class and the school should have something in place to address that as any other employer.

Even if they cancelled the class and refunded the student's money OR convert it an independent study.

But for a professor to cancel 4 weeks in a row and be passed off as no one's business is not appropriate.

I would be surprised what schools don't know anything about professors if their students don't speak up. I spoke up thread about my situation in school. The professor was known by students to be a problem, but no one ever enlightened the administration.

Yes the student should handle it herself. But she should speak up and deserves to have this issue addressed without being told it is a private matter and to enjoy the time of no class.

 

[DisneyOma]

She has a counselor back here at home she works with for 1.5 hours each week. Perhaps she can focus on some of the college issues with him when she gets back in May. Not having someone to guide and support her during the school year is why she relies on us as parents for situations that are difficult for her to get through on her own. We really aren't sure WHAT she actually needs help with half the time. Sometimes it seems like advice, and other times it seems like she'd rather have us take care of initiating action.

Get her therapy at/near the school.

Then back away from her, slowly. Some of the anxiety she puts on herself can come from what she feels comes from you. You've become her go-to problem solver, and that makes it worse. Unless she has thoughts of self-harm, etc, she needs to work with someone outside the family to deal with her anxiety. If she talks about self-harm, get her out of school and into a hospital.

 

[bdcp]

I'm not sure you got what I was saying.

The reason is between the professor and the school.

The students, IMO, have every right to their class and the school should have something in place to address that as any other employer.

Even if they cancelled the class and refunded the student's money OR convert it an independent study.

But for a professor to cancel 4 weeks in a row and be passed off as no one's business is not appropriate.

I would be surprised what schools don't know anything about professors if their students don't speak up. I spoke up thread about my situation in school. The professor was known by students to be a problem, but no one ever enlightened the administration.

Yes the student should handle it herself. But she should speak up and deserves to have this issue addressed without being told it is a private matter and to enjoy the time of no class.

My point was mom needs to stay out of it.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

My point was mom needs to stay out of it.

On that, we agree.

 

[already]

Yes, I have permission and access to my daughter's school account and I can speak to anyone with questions. I'm not sure why this seems out of the norm, but it was something we signed up for when registering. We have a blocked home phone number so the school had no idea who I even was.

Another e-mail just came that class is cancelled for this upcoming week. No information other than, "I regret to inform you." Less than 24 hours notice-again. No, I will not be contacting the school, but I sure hope I can try to empower my daughter to speak with him or leave a less than positive review at the end of the semester. This is a large university with over 20 professors in this one department. A substitute of some kind should be expected. My daughter has to physically get on a bus from her dorm and travel to another campus to attend this particular class. This is also why it is so upsetting. The last notice wasn't received in time so she wasted a trip! That set me over the edge.

Is this class only one day a week? I can't imagine a 300 level class being one day a week. Most classes, unless they are mostly independent study classes, meet MWF or TTH.

Since you said that there was only 24 hours notice, is the professor only canceling one class or is he canceling the whole week?

Did the professor leave any instruction on what the students should do instead? Such as view an online lecture, assign independent study material, offer office hours with himself of a TA to go over any material a student is struggling with?

If it is only one class each week, it is a bit disingenuous to say your daughter is missing 4 weeks of classes. Questions can be asked about the material the students should have studied on their own in the other classes.

Also, did you attend college and if you did, how many substitutes did you have in your tenure at your University?

 

[ashley0139]

Is this class only one day a week? I can't imagine a 300 level class being one day a week. Most classes, unless they are mostly independent study classes, meet MWF or TTH.

Since you said that there was only 24 hours notice, is the professor only canceling one class or is he canceling the whole week?

Did the professor leave any instruction on what the students should do instead? Such as view an online lecture, assign independent study material, offer office hours with himself of a TA to go over any material a student is struggling with?

If it is only one class each week, it is a bit disingenuous to say your daughter is missing 4 weeks of classes. Questions can be asked about the material the students should have studied on their own in the other classes.

Also, did you attend college and if you did, how many substitutes did you have in your tenure at your University?

I can. At my school, many classes met once a week for 3 hours (or twice a week for 1.5 hours, etc). But it would not be uncommon to have a high level class that met once a week.

 

[LisaR]

Is this class only one day a week? I can't imagine a 300 level class being one day a week. Most classes, unless they are mostly independent study classes, meet MWF or TTH.

Since you said that there was only 24 hours notice, is the professor only canceling one class or is he canceling the whole week?

Did the professor leave any instruction on what the students should do instead? Such as view an online lecture, assign independent study material, offer office hours with himself of a TA to go over any material a student is struggling with?

If it is only one class each week, it is a bit disingenuous to say your daughter is missing 4 weeks of classes. Questions can be asked about the material the students should have studied on their own in the other classes.

Also, did you attend college and if you did, how many substitutes did you have in your tenure at your University?

Times have changed. DD has a roommate who has only had class one day a week for the past two semesters in a row! Granted, she is gone all day and into the late evening because the classes are so long, but that's the price you pay for only going once a week. Monday - Wednesday classes are now more popular than ever. I'm shocked at the number of kids I know who have made it through most of college without ever taking a class on a Friday. Just another beef of mine when it comes to education. They seem to be making it easier on the students.

 

[mjkacmom]

Times have changed. DD has a roommate who has only had class one day a week for the past two semesters in a row! Granted, she is gone all day and into the late evening because the classes are so long, but that's the price you pay for only going once a week. Monday - Wednesday classes are now more popular than ever. I'm shocked at the number of kids I know who have made it through most of college without ever taking a class on a Friday. Just another beef of mine when it comes to education. They seem to be making it easier on the students.

It's the same amount of hours. This is dd19's 4th semester, and her first time with a Friday class. I preferred a once a week 7 - 10 classes vs. morning classes 3 times a week. I knew others who liked their days trend by noon. The student chooses how many credits per semester.

 

[DopeyDame]

Most colleges have a counseling center whose singular function is to help students deal with mental health issues. I would suggest that you have your daughter find out what kind of help she can get at the campus counseling center and then she can talk to someone there who might be able to effectively help her work thru problems such as how to deal with her anxiety and how to approach a professor when there is a question about something like this. Then she can learn strategies that will help her not only now, but as she moves on to adulthood and becomes more independent, because these kinds of issues are going to come up with employers and coworkers once she is out of college.

+1000 to this. I have a really good friend who is a counselor at a college. She's amazing and so invested in her students/patients. It really is a very specific field to be able to help young adults transition from being a child to being an adult responsible for their own mental health. They also have a really good grasp on the types of issues that young adults have that may be exacerbated during typical college life.
I'm not saying OP shouldn't stay involved or that her daughter shouldn't keep going to her current counselor, but there is a tremendous resource available at the school and it would be a really good idea to get your daughter plugged into those resources ASAP.

 

[mom2rtk]

I can. At my school, many classes met once a week for 3 hours (or twice a week for 1.5 hours, etc). But it would not be uncommon to have a high level class that met once a week.

Yeah, my son had a couple upper level accounting classes last year that only met in the evening, 1 day a week, for 3 hours.

 

[gwynne]

+1000 to this. I have a really good friend who is a counselor at a college. She's amazing and so invested in her students/patients. It really is a very specific field to be able to help young adults transition from being a child to being an adult responsible for their own mental health. They also have a really good grasp on the types of issues that young adults have that may be exacerbated during typical college life.
I'm not saying OP shouldn't stay involved or that her daughter shouldn't keep going to her current counselor, but there is a tremendous resource available at the school and it would be a really good idea to get your daughter plugged into those resources ASAP.

And ideally, parents and students would plug into these services as soon as they are necessary. Students need to be reasonably competent to handle their own issues while at school. School is not just about going to class and grades. It's about growing up, learning how to get along with others and, when necessary, conflict resolution. Basic interpersonal skills are life skills. They really aren't optional. You need them in college, you need them to get and keep a job.

 

[cabanafrau]

Times have changed. DD has a roommate who has only had class one day a week for the past two semesters in a row! Granted, she is gone all day and into the late evening because the classes are so long, but that's the price you pay for only going once a week. Monday - Wednesday classes are now more popular than ever. I'm shocked at the number of kids I know who have made it through most of college without ever taking a class on a Friday. Just another beef of mine when it comes to education. They seem to be making it easier on the students.

I'm not so sure of that. DD has yet to have a semester with a day off during the week, despite trying to get a schedule that way to make it easier to set her work hours.

 

[okeydokey]

I'm not so sure of that. DD has yet to have a semester with a day off during the week, despite trying to get a schedule that way to make it easier to set her work hours.

Every department is different. In the department where I work, all the classes taught are one day a week for three hours in the evening. They are 4000 and 5000 level classes. There are even some weekend intensive classes in which the entire class is taught over the course of three weekends during the semester. So, there is a lot of variability.