WWYD? Invited to a wedding on our anniversary.

[ruadisneyfan2]

So this year, our 27th anniversary falls on a Saturday. A coworker's daughter is getting married that day, with a very big wedding, and invited a handfull of us from work. They are a fun group, and dh is invited, but he doesn't know any of them, and this isn't exactly how I'd want to spend our anniversary. I am friendly with all of my coworkers but don't socialize with any outside of work. I've never met the daughter or her fiance. In fact, if I rode an elevator with them, I wouldn't even know who they are.
When I consider this from dh's point of view, if he came home and said, "Honey, how about if we spend our anniversary going to my coworker's daughter's wedding?" I'd be saying HELLo NO, we are not. Not even if it was his coworker getting married.

Still, I feel guilty though to decline. I feel it's an honor to be included on someone's special day and it's not like she invited everyone from work. It was limited to only around 5 out of 15 of us. I was invited to her shower as well but we had another wedding to attend that day, a good friend's son, who we've known since he was a baby.

I considered attending the church ceremony only, in the early afternoon, so that we'd still be present, and it wouldn't cost her anything either. (As in per person cost like a reception would.)

Honestly, I'd like a little weekend escape to a FL beach and just relax and enjoy 2 days with dh. Maybe even use up some old non-expiring WDW water park tickets. Flights are cheap. < $100 pp RT. Dh is 64 so who knows how many more anniversaries we'll have? Not that he's old but I do know people who didn't even live to retire.

Ugh, my brain is bleeding just thinking about all of this. Even if we didn't attend the wedding, I'd still send them a gift. I also feel like I should reply soon in case they have a B list, to send out more invitations if the receive some replies that have declined. No point in dragging it out.
I'm afraid she'll be upset with me for choosing an escape with dh over her daughter.

 

[Disneylover99]

If you really don’t want to go. Don’t.
It’s your anniversary and you should spend it with your husband any way you wish. I’m sure your co workers will understand if that’s what you’re worried about.

 

[HiStitch626]

Send your regrets and a gift and enjoy your beach weekend.

 

[Smugpugmug]

Personally I would decline. It's one thing if it was a close family member or friend getting married like a sibling or your child, but it's a coworker's daughter. I would send a gift and go on the weekend trip to the beach to enjoy your anniversary with your husband.

 

[SleeplessInTO]

If you don’t want to go, don’t go.

I went to a friend’s wedding that was on my one year anniversary. I didn’t mind, but this was a friend. If it was someone whose wedding I was ambivalent about attending, I would have sent my regrets and a gift.

 

[Ellie008]

I can tell you that I invited a few of my co-workers to my own wedding, and none of them came. I didn't mind.
If you don't want to go, don't go.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

While we prefer to spend our anniversary together celebrating it it hasn't always happened. I would decline solely on the basis that the relationship with the bride and groom is distant enough, otherwise we'd be fine going if it was someone closer.

 

[Minnesota!]

Would it make things awkward at work?

I'd look at it like you can celebrate your anniversary the weekend before or after...their wedding just happens the one day

It's obviously not mandatory, but I don't see the need to celebrate "on the day", so if the date is the only reason you wouldn't go, I would push my own celebrating off and enjoy a night out with my coworkers.

 

[mumto3girls]

If I really wanted to go to the wedding, I wouldn’t let my anniversary stand in the way; but you don’t even know this couple. I would send a nice card with my regrets and a check and go enjoy my anniversary.

 

[Monykalyn]

I think you can decline gracefully-even using the "excuse" that you already planned an escape with your spouse for your anniversary that weekend., say you are honored to be included in such a special day etc. Send a nice gift-perhaps even with some nice sentiments handwritten.

 

[KayMichigan]

What does your husband think?

Since you don't know the couple I think it would be just fine to decline and send a card and a nice gift.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Beach trip.

 

[kymom99]

I think the real question is, will your husband wear a suit??

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

I think the real question is, will your husband wear a suit??

He always does!

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

What does your husband think?

Since you don't know the couple I think it would be just fine to decline and send a card and a nice gift.

He would rather go away. Anywhere.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Why do people attend weddings for couples they don’t even know? It’s weird. I would decline on that basis alone. And no, I wouldn’t send a gift either because, again, those people are strangers to me.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Why do people attend weddings for couples they don’t even know? It’s weird. I would decline on that basis alone. And no, I wouldn’t send a gift either because, again, those people are strangers to me.

I totally get what you're saying. I would say that it's out of respect for the bride's mother, who with her husband, is footing the bill for most of the wedding. She is inviting who she wants, not just the bride.
We refer to our little group of coworkers as our "work family". We spend 9 hours a day together. Most of that is working but some of it is laughing, crying, venting, singing, etc. We have fun together but dh would not be feeling all that since he has only met a couple of them very briefly.

None of our other coworkers invited other coworkers when their sons & daughters were getting married so it's unique for sure.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Would he have to wear a suit?

 

[focusondisney]

I have never understood the logic in total strangers being invited to a couple’s wedding just because they are friends/ coworkers of their parents. It would different if you knew the coworker’s daughter. We actually went to a coworkers wedding on our anniversary several years ago. It was my manager‘s wedding & we were fairly close. My DH knew the whole group of coworkers who were there. So it was a bit different.

If I was in your situation, I would decline & send a small gift. Take the weekend get away with your DH & don’t feel guilty. My DH & I are mid 60s too. I agree, you never know how much time you have. After spending our whole lives working long hours, raising kids & taking care of elderly parents, we’re finally able to relax & enjoy our time together.

I also wouldn’t make a big deal about it at work. Just we have plans, unable to attend. As they say, it’s an invitation, not a summons. You really aren’t under any obligation to attend.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Enjoy ur Anniversary whether ur go away or not is irrelevant . Unfortunately ur otherwise engaged that day and can’t make the wedding.
I’d Send ur response early as she just may have others to invite.
I think it’d be kind to send a small gift and I’m sure it’d be appreciated. Ur under no obligation to attend Or feel guilty, so silly.
. Life is short, enjoy it and Happy Anniversary in advance!