WWYD - Gifts to family that live far away - sorry long

[Kimberle]

All of my family is very far away. I have started sending them "family" type gifts, like tins of popcorn from the Popcorn Factory, Gift Cards to restaurants, Starbuck gift cards, etc.

 

[suejai]

I really feel the need to say that I don't believe in giving "stuff" just for the sake of it. The gifts I was sending weren't just random toys that they have too many of anyway. They were things that they could use, for example last Christmas I sent small, funky little jewellry boxes with bracelets and rings from Claire's because my brother told me that they liked these and wore them. But they threw them around and let the dog eat the jewellry boxes.

So I have decided that I'm just going to send a card with cash in it, addressed to them individually. This gift exchange started when they lived close by and we actually got to see them. While they were still here I started taking the girls overnight around their birthday and spending the day with them, going for lunch and letting them pick out something that they really wanted. I would rather spend time, but that is just not possible now.

We also don't send gifts for the adults. That is reserved for when everyone is together and even then it's questionable, and usually ends being a family gift.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I was in sort-of the same situatuon when a friend andher family moved away.

I just ended up sending a large family gift, like a gift basket of Mrs. Fields or something like that.

I enjoy giving gifts, but when the thought isn't returned by no fault of the kids, I found the single big gift to be the best solution.

 

[Donnainnj]

You could always just send chew toys for the dogs and leave out the middle man.
Really I think I would go with a family gift, maybe, gift card for a movie and snack, or some thing else you know they would enjoy. If you don't want to go there a savings bond or something of that sort may do.
Donna

 

[golfgal]

You could always just send chew toys for the dogs and leave out the middle man. :thumbsup2
Really I think I would go with a family gift, maybe, gift card for a movie and snack, or some thing else you know they would enjoy. If you don't want to go there a savings bond or something of that sort may do.
Donna

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I know you think that a jewelry box and jewelry from Claire's is "special" but it is not. Sorry. Plus ETA, these kids are 6 & 7. Honestly that is not really "age appropriate" for them. I would not expect 1st and 2nd graders to treat Claire's jewelry as "special". They probably would be rough with it and use it as a "toy" in dress up.

Special would be a handmade quilt. Something you buy is just "stuff".

 

[suejai]

I know you think that a jewelry box and jewelry from Claire's is "special" but it is not. Sorry.

Special would be a handmade quilt. Something you buy is just "stuff".

You know, I get the feeling you are looking for some sort of "reaction" from me. I understand your point of view, but I find that you are blunt to the point of rudeness, and unbelievably smug. I did ask for people's opinions and am quite willing to entertain differing viewpoints - because "I" am tolerant of other people's ways without feeling the need to demean and belittle them.

 

[suejai]

You could always just send chew toys for the dogs and leave out the middle man.
Donna

Now there's a good idea

 

[luvsJack]

I know you think that a jewelry box and jewelry from Claire's is "special" but it is not. Sorry. Plus ETA, these kids are 6 & 7. Honestly that is not really "age appropriate" for them. I would not expect 1st and 2nd graders to treat Claire's jewelry as "special". They probably would be rough with it and use it as a "toy" in dress up.

Special would be a handmade quilt. Something you buy is just "stuff".

Really? Dd, dd's friends, dn and dn's friends all have LOVED Claire's since just about the age of 6. They all have had the cute little jewelery holders that they can hang necklaces and bracelets from and holds earrings and rings. These holders have stayed full for the past 5 years for dd. The pieces they pick out have changed but they all have always loved Claire's.

A homemade quilt may be "special" to you but is just "stuff" to a little girl. Something truly special is simply something the recipient enjoys having and using and that can be different for every person.

BTW, why are you trying to bait the OP?


OP, I would try and think of a gift card that would be special to those particular children. Build a Bear Workshop, Disney Store, a music store, Clair's, whatever each one likes. Send the gift card and a specially picked holiday card for each one. Or go with the savings account--that's really a great idea.

 

[minkydog]

I am trying to figure out how to get people to stop giving me gifts. I have enough "stuff". I don't need more. I would LOVE to have people take the $$ they would have spent on a gift for me and donate it to one of my favorite charities (or one of theirs, for that matter). However, when I bring this uup it is met with sheer horror , as if I had said "Let's perform a human sacifice on Christmas Day instead of exchanging gifts".

And I am talking about the adult-to-adult exchange. Obviously the kids would always get a gift.

This is EXACTLY how we do it. I have 4 siblings, who have 4 spouses and 5 children among them. We have three children. All of us live in different states and we very rarely see each other at the holidays. So we have to mail everything. The last time I bought and mailed gifties it cost me $149 just for the postage! ARRGH! So we came up with the "new plan"--Choose a charity, give what you please, then write a note to the intended and let them know what you chose (and that's optional). It's not for the glory("Oh, I'm so special, I gave $300 to the starving kids in Africa!") it's for the fun of being creative and doing for others.

The year that Hurricane Katrina hit, and my sisters family ended up in a shelter for 2 weeks, we gave money in there name to their local Red Cross. Another year we sent flattened soccer balls to my brother, who was going to Venezuela to visit his GF. When he arrived he blew up the soccer balls and gave them away to the poor boys and girls who live in her neighborhood.

Last year we adopted 5 Christmas kids from my school. I started my cards with, "I hope you will enjoy the marshmellows, school supplies, size 0 jeans and teeny weeny top" and "This year I bought you a pair of pink cowgirl boots. I hope you love them!" And of course, my sibs love giving and getting these "gifts." And we don't accumulate more stuff or end up just giving gift cards back and forth("Here's your $20 Starbucks card. Yeah? Well, here's your $20 Walmart card!")

We do give gifts to kids under age 19. I give toys up to age 11; after age 11, I tape a $20 to a box of candy, wrap it up and mail it. Last year I wasn't sure what to do about my 20yo nephew. He was living with my mother and I couldn't very well send presents to Mother and presents to his parents and brother and just leave him out. So I picked an ornament off my tree, wrapped it with a cheery note, and mailed that. No money after age19, but I still love you and think of you.

Now, as far as reciprocal gifting I think it all depends on what you like. I have a sister and a brother that have never sent cards or presents. They just don't do that. But I like to send funny cards and the occasional giftie and I don't think anything of that. I just don't expect them to reciprocate because they're just not going to do that. My love for them does not depend on whether or not they send me a gift or card, or even call me on my birthday. I know they love me because they tell me so. Don't need a gift for that.