Wow, DD called her teacher a jerk.

[wendypooh]

I've had worse said to me
In my school we would get spoken to by the principal about sending a kid to the office for something as small as being called a jerk.

I understand wanting to hear the child's side of the story too, but when is calling the teacher a jerk acceptable? Regardless of what led up to it, the child should not have said it.

I have had things happen during the school day and kids will go home and deny that they did it. Honestly, I have more things going on during the day to make up things about students.

First of all - I NEVER said or implied that it was acceptable. It isn't. My point was that BEFORE the parents decided the punishment (which it sounded like the OP had done) they should talk with the DD to get ALL the facts. As a teacher - wouldn't it seem reasonable to you, that a kid who as the OP stated was a good kid and didn't have these type issues - would probably react in that way (calling the teacher a jerk) because they felt like they were being unfairly treated, or not listened too, as opposed to just being "mouthy" and rude? Again, I'm not saying it's acceptable, just that they should get all the facts BEFORE they dole out the punishment. I think the punishment should fit the crime. I think an apology and a discussion about it should suffice - period, but that's just me.

Also, NEVER did I say or imply that the teacher "made up" anything. Not sure where that came from???

 

[joyjoy]

I'm all for kids respecting adults, but sometimes precocious children blurt things out without thinking. They read it, see it on tv, see it in movies, whatever.

I think the teacher did the right thing, the principal did the right thing and certainly the parents are doing the right thing. And I'll bet Miss Smarty Mouth doesn't ever do that again.

Good job, mom.

 

[MM27]

First of all - I NEVER said or implied that it was acceptable. It isn't. My point was that BEFORE the parents decided the punishment (which it sounded like the OP had done) they should talk with the DD to get ALL the facts. As a teacher - wouldn't it seem reasonable to you, that a kid who as the OP stated was a good kid and didn't have these type issues - would probably react in that way (calling the teacher a jerk) because they felt like they were being unfairly treated, or not listened too, as opposed to just being "mouthy" and rude? Again, I'm not saying it's acceptable, just that they should get all the facts BEFORE they dole out the punishment. I think the punishment should fit the crime. I think an apology and a discussion about it should suffice - period, but that's just me.

Also, NEVER did I say or imply that the teacher "made up" anything. Not sure where that came from???

I wouldn't rush to believe EVERYTHING the school said

 

[Tinijocaro]

Another reason to bring back capital punishment to the schools. This would have already been taken care of before your daughter got home from school. Than she should have had an extra dose from you or the father. The young kids today do not respect adults, and its the parents fault.

I'm guessing maybe you are not yet a parent.

 

[happygirl]

Thanks for the supportive words everyone. I have had time to digest everything, still waiting on the principal to call. May not get her on the phone till tomorrow.

Of course, DD has her "version" of events, which I'm not really buying into for various reasons (her version doesn't seem reasonable, and she keeps adding to it). At the least, whether she did the name-calling or not, she still got herself into a sticky situation by talking back to the teacher and being disrespectful. That in itself is enough to warrant the punishment we are giving her.

So, no video games, no t.v., no computer, no friends. She will be made to write an apology letter to the teacher. And I'm thinking she needs to write lines. "I will not talk back to my teacher." And although I know the principal made her apologize to the teacher, I'm thinking she needs to apologize again in the morning, once she's had a night to sleep on it.

I know she's a normal kid and she just had a case of temporary insanity. Hopefully we won't have to do this again with her....ever. I suspect some of this will come up again during the glorious teen years, but one can dream.

I think you are doing all the rights things with her. I love the making her write a letter to the teacher. So many parents don't hold there own kids responsible for there actions

 

[wendypooh]

LOL - As the ONLY side of the situation. As to decide an appropriate punishment.

I'm guessing this has touched a cord???

 

[Planogirl]

I think that the punishment fits the crime quite nicely. YMMV but our son will respect his teachers.

 

[brockash]

WOW! I can't believe Im reading that comment. I don't even know what to say to that. Capital punishment and its the parents fault?? Just WOW. What decade are you from?

Totally agree. Ppl. are so nuts sometimes.

 

[MM27]

LOL - As the ONLY side of the situation. As to decide an appropriate punishment.

I'm guessing this has touched a cord???

It sure does. I can't tell you the number of times this happens at my school. I'm not only talking about my own students, but when I see and hear what goes on in other classes as well. When a parent would assume that we are lying simply because their child says they didn't do something blows my mind. That and the "they don't do that at home" line.

Here's a similar story but not dealing with the parent. My sister is a middle school teacher and one of the teachers in her school was told to "F--- off"" by a student. When the teacher informed the principal, the response was, "Did anyone else witness it?" It is really frustrating that as a professional, you cannot be trusted in instances like this. The principal told the teacher that there was nothing he could do if nobody else heard. So the teacher asked the principal, "So as long as nobody hears me, I can say whatever I want to back to him?" And then the confused look spread across his face.

 

[wendypooh]

It sure does. I can't tell you the number of times this happens at my school. I'm not only talking about my own students, but when I see and hear what goes on in other classes as well. When a parent would assume that we are lying simply because their child says they didn't do something blows my mind. That and the "they don't do that at home" line.

Here's a similar story but not dealing with the parent. My sister is a middle school teacher and one of the teachers in her school was told to "F--- off"" by a student. When the teacher informed the principal, the response was, "Did anyone else witness it?" It is really frustrating that as a professional, you cannot be trusted in instances like this. The principal told the teacher that there was nothing he could do if nobody else heard. So the teacher asked the principal, "So as long as nobody hears me, I can say whatever I want to back to him?" And then the confused look spread across his face.

I see your point and get it......... I'm sure it happens more than anyone knows and I'm sure it's frustrating. But, I sincerely didn't mean it that way to the OP. It just sounded like she had decided on the punishment SOLEY on what she was told by the school. I felt like she should speak to her DD and then decide.

On the other side of the coin - sometimes the teacher is in the wrong - my thought was that since the OP said this was NOT typical behaviour for her DD - that something else could've happened - meaning that perhaps (AND THIS DOES HAPPEN) that the teacher didn't listen to WHY the girl was "hanging" on the boy - and when she got punished she was so upset that she wasn't allowed to tell her side of things............ NOW - that is NOT a free pass to call the teacher a jerk..... I never said that - if she did say it, then she should be punished - it's NOT acceptable - however, the reason it was said would have an impact on MY decision for punishment.

We are actually on the same page here I think. I'm not at all EXCUSING her behaviour - just trying to get the complete picture BEFORE the punishment is decided.

Anyway - have a good night!!

 

[grumpeeduck]

I haven't read all of the responses so sorry if it's been answered, but have you heard the CHILD'S side of the story?? I mean, really listened?? If this is uncharacteristic of your child then I would really delve deep into talking WITH your child. Also, to make sure that the teacher didn't create this-yes it has happened before.

 

[wendypooh]

I haven't read all of the responses so sorry if it's been answered, but have you heard the CHILD'S side of the story?? I mean, really listened?? If this is uncharacteristic of your child then I would really delve deep into talking WITH your child. Also, to make sure that the teacher didn't create this-yes it has happened before.

This was MY point as well.

And the OP said she has talked to her DD and doesn't "really" believe what she is saying....... only she knows her DD and can make that decision.

My point was that BEFORE she decided on the punishment - she should speak to her DD - as from her post it sounded as though she had already decided a punishment - regardless and before hearing what her DD said.

 

[grumpeeduck]

This was MY point as well.

And the OP said she has talked to her DD and doesn't "really" believe what she is saying....... only she knows her DD and can make that decision.

My point was that BEFORE she decided on the punishment - she should speak to her DD - as from her post it sounded as though she had already decided a punishment - regardless and before hearing what her DD said.

I thought someone had probably wondered this. This makes me sad for the little girl. I am thankful for my dd's that know they can come to me with anything, and I will listen. I also never doubt them-and I would never take the word of a teacher over theirs. So sad.

 

[turkeymama]

I thought someone had probably wondered this. This makes me sad for the little girl. I am thankful for my dd's that know they can come to me with anything, and I will listen. I also never doubt them-and I would never take the word of a teacher over theirs. So sad.

In this particular case, I am certain her version of events isn't accurate. The only thing she claims differently from the teacher is that she didn't call her a jerk. Everything else she admitted to and should be punished for. She was very disrespectful prior to the name-calling. And I know why she was hanging on the little boy. She likes to rough-house with the boys. What can I say, she's a tomboy. So it wasn't like he hit her and she was defending herself. They were just playing and the teacher was trying to make them stop so they wouldn't hurt each other.

I want my kids to come to me with anything as well, but never is a big, big word.

 

[Disney Doll]

OP I think you are doing a great job. You seem like a level headed mom. A lot of PP gave great advise. I don't think Corporal Punishment in school is the answer. I remember when my sister was in 4th grade, she was spanked with the paddle in class, male teacher and he pulled up her dress to paddle her. Just knowing that was enough to keep me from ever getting in trouble.

So then it worked, technically...at least for you.

 

[turkeymama]

This was MY point as well.

And the OP said she has talked to her DD and doesn't "really" believe what she is saying....... only she knows her DD and can make that decision.

My point was that BEFORE she decided on the punishment - she should speak to her DD - as from her post it sounded as though she had already decided a punishment - regardless and before hearing what her DD said.

I had ideas, but I actually hadn't decided until I got home from school with her.

 

[turkeymama]

Last update:

Principal called me back and said we shouldn't make a bigger deal out of this than necessary. She says DD was very upset when she was in the office and she also told DD that she was obviously having a good year since they hadn't spoken until now.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

In this particular case, I am certain her version of events isn't accurate. The only thing she claims differently from the teacher is that she didn't call her a jerk. Everything else she admitted to and should be punished for. She was very disrespectful prior to the name-calling. And I know why she was hanging on the little boy. She likes to rough-house with the boys. What can I say, she's a tomboy. So it wasn't like he hit her and she was defending herself. They were just playing and the teacher was trying to make them stop so they wouldn't hurt each other.

I want my kids to come to me with anything as well, but never is a big, big word.

I knew that you must have spoken to her and not just taken what the school said. You know your child, and I agree, never is a big, big word. My kids don't lie to me either, but their truth and my truth can lose something in the translation. And when they become teenagers, I think that anyone who believes everything a teen says is in for a big wake up. Like Judge Judy says," How can you tell when a teenager is lying? When their mouth is moving!"

 

[meliss8599]

I thought someone had probably wondered this. This makes me sad for the little girl. I am thankful for my dd's that know they can come to me with anything, and I will listen. I also never doubt them-and I would never take the word of a teacher over theirs. So sad.

As a mother, yes, you always want your child to feel comfortable coming to you with things but, for wrongdoing, kids are aware there is usually a punishment and if they know mom/dad will believe them over a teacher any day, why not lie about it? As a third grade teacher, I had a student admit to me what he did wrong and then go home and vehemently lie about it to his parents.

 

[meliss8599]

In this particular case, I am certain her version of events isn't accurate. The only thing she claims differently from the teacher is that she didn't call her a jerk. Everything else she admitted to and should be punished for. She was very disrespectful prior to the name-calling. And I know why she was hanging on the little boy. She likes to rough-house with the boys. What can I say, she's a tomboy. So it wasn't like he hit her and she was defending herself. They were just playing and the teacher was trying to make them stop so they wouldn't hurt each other.

I want my kids to come to me with anything as well, but never is a big, big word.

More kids need parents like you (and so do us teachers)!