Would you take a picture of your kids at a gravesite?

[Lanshark]

I have no problem with it

 

[Boston Tea Party]

I have taken pictures of my grandfather's plaque at the masoleum and my father's headstone with my kids.

That reminds me of a time when my aunt went to visit my grandfather. Something happened to the marble and they took his urn out until they could replace the marble. My aunt, understandably upset when she saw the hole, contacted the caretaker and said, "I can't find my father. I don't know if he's gone out for a cup of coffee or what...."

 

[Poohbear123]

I actually thought this was strange at one time, but now a days nothing surprises me. When visiting my and DH's parents graves, I have seen people sitting in Lawn chairs, having a picnic, or just resting by the grave site. The gravesites of children is what gets to me: They have stuffed animals, and one was made into a castle similar to WDW's. The Spanish are VERY elaborate with religious figures, dolls, etc.

 

[Pembo]

Not strange.

 

[flrose]

Pictures at the gravesite wouldn't bother me but, pictures of the deceased in the coffin I can't handle. I want to remember them as they were alive and living.

 

[Mercy]

I'm not much of a gravesite visitor myself. When my dad passed away I knew that he/his spirit was in heaven and it was just his body that was in the ground. So I can probably count on both hands how many times I been to the graveyard, and those times were just to take my mom to visit. I don't get any kind of peace or comfort by looking at a plot of dirt, and I was very close to my dad. My mom gets mad at me for not going, but she is very old-school about those kind of things.

But I think the whole picture taking thing is really up to the individual though. And if the kids in the OP didn't have a problem getting their picture taken at their mothers grave, then fine. It's probably not something I would do though.

But.... the whole taking pictures of dead people in their caskets... well that definitely creeps me out. Probably because when I was about 13-14 they did this at my grandmothers funeral. Too weird for me. Like others have said I would rather remember that person alive.

 

[snoopy]

Would I take a picture of my kids at a gravesite? Nope. Would I think its strange for someone else to do? Not really. Whatever brings forth comfort is o.k. by me.

 

[Cindy B]

Originally posted by Disfan1
It depends on the actual picture, I guess. I don't see anything wrong on the surface, but if they were having a picnic & a grand old time at the grave, that might be a little strange.

Funny you should say that, about a picnic. My BIL's girlfriend is from Russia. The last time I saw her (coincidentally at MIL's gravesite on my MIL's birthday), she told be about a Russian tradition once a year.

Apparently once a year, I think on a Sunday, families get together at the gravesite with a picnic, and a family get together. She said they would spend the day visiting all the family members (passed on) and talk to them, and then they would gather all over and picnic there.

 

[Flyfly_Eclipse]

I have to respect that, actually. The whole picnic thing. You're still including the memories of your loved one in a joyous celebration. Thinking of your loved one who has passed on doesn't always have to be in sadness and misery. Although if the gravesite is shared with others, you also need to respect their feelings. They may be offended with the thought...especially if their loss is fresh.

 

[Mishetta]

I took pictures at my Mom's viewing per requests of her siblings in Europe. They couldn't come for the funeral & they need closure too. It was hard for me to take them since I was the distraught daughter, but no one else would take them since they all 'felt funny about it.' So here I was, taking pictures of my beautiful Mother in her casket & all the flowers & the memory boards I created. No people pictures. Just photo's of my Mom. Then the day after the funeral, I went back to the cemetery & took a photo of her crypt wall that had her name engraved on it for them.

I had the photos developed months later (since I just couldn't deal with seeing the photos) because my family in Europe kept asking me about the photos. I mailed them off to one cousin so he could disburse them & guess what? I mailed them 2 months ago & he has not received them!

 

[Mad4Mickey]

No way, no how

 

[Margie J]

The responses so far have been very interesting and enlightening. Thank you so much. I can see how cultural differences influence how people view this too. I think what initially struck me as odd about this photo is that the kids are young, still figuring out what death means and grieving for their mom. Maybe it's more a factor of being very sad and personal than odd.

As I read some of these responses it reminded me of the afternoon a group of us were at a local Cemetery for the burial of a friend's father. Nearby sat an elderly man at his wife's graveside. Apparently he goes there everyday to sit with her. He seemed happy to be with her and watch over what else was happening.

Coffin photos - no way.

 

[Pin Wizard]

When my husband's mom died, I remember his dad taking pictures of her at the funeral home. I was mortified! I worried about him doing the same when my husband died! I worried about it that entire day...like I needed an additional stress. Thank goodness he didn't take any. I don't know what I would have done.

 

[kirstyfly]

I don't see anything wrong with it.

I would take photos of my children if i had children at a loved ones grave site.

My husband and I actually visited the cemertry on our wedding day for photos under his parents big oak tree where their ashes were scattered and name plaque is.

The photos turned out lovely.

 

[CRB#33]

It's not something I would want my children to keep for a memory. I would want them to remember me when I was alive.

However, people grieve in different ways as I have learned from my own experiences, so...to each his own.