Would You Sign A Prenuptial Agreement Before Your Wedding?

[gina2000]

If I were to marry again, I'd have a prenup to protect my son. I'd want him to have whatever my husband and I had amassed during our life together. And while I'd trust the man I married to do the right thing, I don't trust his relatives to live up to his promises.

 

[mmcguire]

oops

 

[Principessa Alba]

I would not marry with a prenup. I just don't agree with the concept. And for the person who said to 'think about it before you say No'... why do you think that people who posted no right away haven't 'thought about it'?


tricia.

I guess if they have been in situation they have thought about it, but if they haven't, I think maybe they don't know exactly what they'd do.

I'm not saying I would have or wouldn't have. The only thing I know is that I don't know. It would so depend on the situation. If there were things that needed protection I would try to understand that, but if it were some really selfish guy that was just thinking, mine mine mine! well, I don't know what I'd be doing with him in the first place.

I just think it's again, so easy to say if it's just hypothetical.

 

[StrollPatrolMom]

The idea of planning for divorce seems silly but there are some nasty people in this world and unfortunately, you have to protect your assets.

yeah, but why would you marry one

 

[crz4mm2]

No I wouldn't.... But I'd sure expect HIM to sign one

 

[Principessa Alba]

yeah, but why would you marry one

Does anyone marry someone knowing they will be nasty in a break up or cheat on them or leave them? If we all had crystal balls I guess we could forsee and avoid those ugly custody battles or fights about divorce settlements. I'm sure when that happens it's a huge letdown and disappointment.

 

[Ride Junkie]

yeah, but why would you marry one

Heh heh, good point! I think too many people go into marriage without knowing each other long enough to get to know the real person. "Try before you buy!" Then hopefully you won't end up with a tool.

DH and I married after almost 8 years together. I knew he would never try to take $ from me, even if I had any.

 

[Oreo Cookie]

DH and I didn't because we didn't have anything to protect. Had we been older, and each of us with assets worth protecting, yes, I would have signed one.

Me too. If I was older when I got married, and had assets to protect, I would ask for a pre-nup, and in reverse, if I married someone who had assets to protect, I wouldn't be offended if I was asked to sign one.

 

[Pigeon]

So those of you that wouldn't sign one, fill in the blanks for me.

You're in love. You are about to get married. Your fiance says he wants one signed (this happened to some friends of ours years and years ago. She almost called off the wedding but signed, they stayed married for 30 years and just recently divorced.)

What do you do? Call off the wedding or try to manipulate the situation in your favor, meaning, you talk your fiance into doing something they don't want to do?

I'd tell him, sorry but that's a dealbreaker. Have a nice life.

 

[abaldacci]

I would sign one but I would also want one signed.

 

[littleteapot]

Other

I would not and did not for a first marriage.

If dh passes away before me and I marry again, I would want some type of pre-nup in place to protect my inheritance from my first husband for our children. KWIM....I don't know if a pre-nup would be the right legal document, but I would never want my children to have to fight for their inheritance.

 

[kinntj]

I voted I would think about it. It depends on the situation really. I could see myself signing one if there were good reason.

I guess I'm older and see things differently than when I was younger. In my 20's I would have said no way.

 

[EthansMom]

Definitely.

DH and I have kids together. We have worked hard to put ourselves in a secure financial position for ourselves and for our children... not for some unknown person who might be in our lives at a later date. I actually told DH that if something happened to me and I passed away, I would want him to feel free to remarry if he found love again BUT I would haunt him if he married someone else without having a pre-nup to protect our assets for our children.

 

[RC Fan]

I think pre-nups are the ultimate show of faith. Sign here if you are interested in me for me, not for my money. I find most people are against them until they imagine themselves in the position of losing their own money.

 

[Cool-Beans]

But you're saying outright there that you're better than a person who asks to sign a prenup.

No, I didn't say it outright. I didn't imply it. In fact, I was pretty specific when saying I did not feel that way. Don't know how much plainer I could have stated it.

You figure they're lying about the rest. If you honestly feel that way, so be it.

Yes, that is what I would think. Why on earth would someone who is planning to stay with me until one of us dies ask me to sign a paper spelling out the divorce? He wouldn't...unless he had considered that we might not be staying together . Either he isn't planning to stay or he isn't sure if I'm planning to stay...and whichever it is, the two of us shouldn't be getting married. Certainly not then, anyway.

But let's be up front about it. You are looking down at those who would ask for a prenup.

Again, no. There are plenty of folks around the DIS who will be happy to tell that I say what I think. If I say that I don't think one group of people is better than the other, that's what I mean. Honest.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I don't think she is saying that at all. She is talking about how she would perceive a man in her life if he suggested it. Not making a judgment of all people who do things differently.

LOL, I started the reply, then the baby woke up and it was back to life. I come back on, finish it and state that plenty of people around here know I say what I think.

Then I come read this.

...and when I said, "If you...." I was speaking in hypotheticals. I'm not actually marrying anyone else. I'm married and we're in it for the long haul...better or worse, richer or poorer, whole bit. Except obey - why make a promise you have no intention of keeping? Not obeying.

I'm very big on doing my own thing and leaving others to do theirs. The fact that I wouldn't sign a prenup doesn't make me a better person than someone who would or anyone that would ask for one. It is just who I am. Wouldn't sign a prenup, won't obey - don't think I'm better than those who do.

We're all different. We all do things our own way for our own reasons. We all do the best we can.

 

[Pumbaa_]

When we got married, we had nothing. nada, zilch, zip. 24 years later, we are ok. Not rich, but we have some assets.

If something happened, and he was gone, I would consider a prenup if I was to marry again. I have things to lose and I am not 18 any longer. Don't know if I would actually do it, but I would consider it for sure.

 

[djm99]

I would sign one, if I could have my own provision. A provision that states if the man cheated, or physically abused me would forfeit any agreement in his pre-nup!!!!!

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

I would absolutely have a pre-nup in place before the wedding. In fact, it was drafted and executed earlier this year, though it is not binding until we marry. DF has no children, I do. Our pre-nup memorializes our agreement and understanding about eachothers' assets at the time of our nuptials. We have separate assests, we have community assets. We're not even married yet and our wills reflect our wishes and our trust in one another. Just makes sense when there are college educations to be funded and heirlooms to pass down. Just as important as a will or an advanced medical directive.

 

[Kathi OD]

DSIL was about to be married when less than a week before the wedding her DF says he wants her to sign a prenup. This was almost 20 years ago, and not nearly as prevalent as it is today. Of course she was confused and upset. She couldn't understand why he wanted her to sign it. At the time DF owned many apartment complexes and was probably worth several million, but honestly, no one would ever know it. Neither had children from prior relationships. Of course he wanted to protect those assets should the marriage fail. DSIL asks my opinion (I'm married to her brother). I tell her well it depends on how much she loves him and if she feels she's entitled to those assets, and that only she can make that decision. We talked it over some and finally came up with a counter-proposal that she felt she could live with. It was a sliding scale that started at nothing if the marriage lasted less than 5 years and increased until at 25 years she was entitled to 1/2. Her proposal also included a provision that if they had children she would automatically be entitled to 1/2. Her DF was agreeable to her conditions and they both signed off. They've been married about 23 years now, but have a 15 yo, so she could have gotten out a long time ago w/ 1/2 if she wanted to.

Now, I wouldn't have signed it and probably would not have made a counter-proposal. I would have been too angry that he had waited until a week before the wedding to even mention he felt the need to protect his assets. I wouldn't have cared about the need, that would have been fine with me, but to wait until all the plans were in place would seem very manipulative to me...like at that point you would feel as if you really don't have a choice but to sign, so I would have called his bluff and see if he would call it off. But then again, I am just contrary that way.