Would You Say Something About This Behavior (and If So, What?)

[BeachGirlFLA]

A friend of mine (not my BF...an ex-BF, who is still a friend - and before anyone asks, it's fine with my BF) cooked dinner for me last night. He picked me up at my place because I was going to be drinking and didn't want to drive and I only live five minutes from his house. On the way home (less than halfway home), I realized that I'd left my house keys at his house. He took me back for them but called me a dumb (w)itch for forgetting them.
Then, when I called him today about something he was very short with me on the phone. He gave me a one word answer to my question and then just said "goodbye." I IM'ed him and asked him why he was so short with me and he said "because I was busy."
I feel like he's been really rude, to the point of being emotionally abusive, twice in the past couple of days. And that kind of behavior is the reason that I stopped dating him in the first place. I've also been very supportive of him lately...buying him drinks most of the time when we go get a beer because he's had financial problems lately. Would you say something to him...if so, what would you say?

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Just to be clear, if a man picks you up at your place, takes you to his place and cooks you dinner, he wants more than an opportunity to drive you home - even if he is now just your ex-boy friend. Men don't make good friends once sex is introduced into the relationship...

 

[hereyago]

Maybe you should ask yourself why after breaking up with him for that kind of behavoir would you still associate with him?
And why would you be supportive of someone who treated you like that.
People treat you the way you allow them to treat you.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I thought maybe I was overreacting thinking about breaking the friendship off over that behavior. That's why I asked you guys.

 

[laurafergie]

Just to be clear, if a man picks you up at your place, takes you to his place and cooks you dinner, he wants more than an opportunity to drive you home - even if he is now just your ex-boy friend. Men don't make good friends once sex is introduced into the relationship...

What PP said. He's being poopy because he didn't get any.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

A friend of mine (not my BF...an ex-BF, who is still a friend - and before anyone asks, it's fine with my BF) cooked dinner for me last night. He picked me up at my place because I was going to be drinking and didn't want to drive and I only live five minutes from his house. On the way home (less than halfway home), I realized that I'd left my house keys at his house. He took me back for them but called me a dumb (w)itch for forgetting them.
Then, when I called him today about something he was very short with me on the phone. He gave me a one word answer to my question and then just said "goodbye." I IM'ed him and asked him why he was so short with me and he said "because I was busy."
I feel like he's been really rude, to the point of being emotionally abusive, twice in the past couple of days. And that kind of behavior is the reason that I stopped dating him in the first place. I've also been very supportive of him lately...buying him drinks most of the time when we go get a beer because he's had financial problems lately. Would you say something to him...if so, what would you say?

Honey, he's an ***, let him go.

Move on.

Ritually burn a voodoo doll in his likeness.

Throw away the key.

Seriously.

 

[mumom95]

Just to be clear, if a man picks you up at your place, takes you to his place and cooks you dinner, he wants more than an opportunity to drive you home - even if he is now just your ex-boy friend. Men don't make good friends once sex is introduced into the relationship...

This is what I was thinking.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I can't add a thing more because everyone nailed it!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

What PP said. He's being poopy because he didn't get any.

Oh yeah.

 

[C.Ann]

Time to move on to the next chapter of your life..

 

[diznygirl]

Just to be clear, if a man picks you up at your place, takes you to his place and cooks you dinner, he wants more than an opportunity to drive you home - even if he is now just your ex-boy friend. Men don't make good friends once sex is introduced into the relationship...

This occurred to me too, but I didn't know how I would phrase it. Thanks for that!

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I don't think it's necessarily about the not getting any....that was never a big part of our relationship when we were together. It was actually a bigger deal to me when we were together than it was to him by far. I think he may just be a jerk, but I wanted to make sure it wasn't just me thinking he was being a jerk. I didn't end the friendship when I ended the relationship because a lot of times, he's perfectly nice and fun to hang out with but I'm starting to think that those times aren't worth the times he acts like a jerk.

 

[rie'smom]

Sounds like he has unstable moods. Stay away.

 

[bumbershoot]

What would you do if this friend were female and behaved the same way?

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I would tell her I didn't appreciate being treated that way (I think - sometimes I have a hard time standing up for myself.)

 

[N&B'smom]

Seems like a bizarre situation to me, why would you have dinner alone with your X who was a jerk to you when you were dating? You have a different boyfriend now who doesn't mind you having a date with your X? MOVE ON!!!

 

[Octoberbride03]

My question is why is your current BF fine with your friendship with the EX if that's how he acts? My Dh treats me with respect and expects others to do the same.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I don't think it's necessarily about the not getting any....that was never a big part of our relationship when we were together. It was actually a bigger deal to me when we were together than it was to him by far...

You sure this person is male?

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

Current BF gives me a great deal of freedom, because he knows in the past my BF's haven't done so. He might say something about the way the ex treated me (or point out that he would never talk to me that way), but it would be in a very subtle way...not ordering me not to hang out with him (not date...to me a date ends with some sort of physical affection.)
And yes, Bamafan, I'm sure he's a male LOL

 

[4nana]

IMO it's emotionally destructive to stay friends with an old flame that verbally abuses you. Sweetie, he obviously doesn't respect you if he continues this behavior .
I say, save your beer money and time spent on him ~ why torment yourself or give him the time of day? It's time to move on, take that energy and invest it in your new relationship!!