Would you let your child wait for you outside of ride???

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

I let my DD wait for us outside ToT at 9 years old and every trip after.
She bought a mickey bar and water and sat outside the gift shop waiting.

She also waited for us at Splash Mountain too. She had popcorn and water and stood by the bridge area where the big drop is.

I had no worries about it.

I wanted to come back and add that at 10 years old no way could I have trusted my son to be alone. He was a wanderer (still is but now he's much older. LOL) from the time he could walk and there's not telling where he would have gotten to when we were off the ride.

 

[Gracie09]

How do you do a valid thorough background check without a social?

I ' m wondering that as well. If a parent of ones of my kids friends ask for my social I would laugh in their face and tell them I'll send my kid over there.

 

[disney1990]

If you don't teach your children these lessons while they are younger and still under your control, you miss a great opportunity. You let a 16 year old drive while you still have the control to say, don't speed, wear your seat belt. Wait until they are 18 and they walk out of the house and do what they want.

My children learned life lessons one step at a time. How to go to the store and make a purchase, how to know who a stranger is and how to react to them.

We can't always be there so we need to make sure that are children are prepared to handle challenges when we are not there.

If you don't want to let you child wait for you at a Disney Park, that is your right as their parent. But, don't complain when at age 18 they walk out of the house because they just want to be able to experience life.

 

[DnAnCl]

We live in a small NH town that had a child snatched 25 years ago walking to school (1/2 mile) on a main street and has never been seen again.
I love D. but with my grandchildren now I NEVER let them out of my site. A few minutes on a ride vs. taking the chance of losing a child, Sorry but I don't understand even considering.

 

[CatelynnMarie]

So based on some of your assumptions, my non existent child would be forever dependent on me and afraid of the world because I would choose not to leave them alone in a huge public space at a certain age
Cute.

Depending on the child, I think 10 years old is just too, no. ESPECIALLY in WDW. SOO many distractions and crowds. FFS I get distracted in WDW and sometimes don't watch where I'm going at certain points and I'm 22. All I was saying was it just doesn't sit right with me to go happily onto a ride where I am in an enclosed area and the child would be bored, antsy, curious, etc and MAY get distracted. It would make more sense to me if let's say the child wanted to go on a ride that I wasn't into or needed to use the bathroom and I could be waiting for them at the exit.

 

[kris4360]

We live in a small NH town that had a child snatched 25 years ago walking to school (1/2 mile) on a main street and has never been seen again.
I love D. but with my grandchildren now I NEVER let them out of my site. A few minutes on a ride vs. taking the chance of losing a child, Sorry but I don't understand even considering.

Exactly! All for a stupid ride!

 

[kris4360]

I give you credit, you do what you feel is best for your family! It might not be what the majority does. But, really who cares what everyone else does? Last summer my then 8yr old spent the day at a friends house. Two hours after my son left the father shot himself. So this is an extreme, the exception, the one in a million! But, even to this day I think "what if". I know this whole thing has gotten off topic. I just wanted to let you know that although we all feel differently, we just want whats best for our own individual families.

So sorry that happened! Tragic

 

[cheer25mom]

We live in a small NH town that had a child snatched 25 years ago walking to school (1/2 mile) on a main street and has never been seen again.
I love D. but with my grandchildren now I NEVER let them out of my site. A few minutes on a ride vs. taking the chance of losing a child, Sorry but I don't understand even considering.

If you truly NEVER let them out of your sight, how do you expect them to function as adults? Do they go to school without you? To a friend's to play? Ride thier bike outside? I don't understand how you teach kids to function without you if you are truly right on top of them at all times. How do they learn to deal with life?

 

[cheer25mom]

So based on some of your assumptions, my non existent child would be forever dependent on me and afraid of the world because I would choose not to leave them alone in a huge public space at a certain age
Cute.

Depending on the child, I think 10 years old is just too, no. ESPECIALLY in WDW. SOO many distractions and crowds. FFS I get distracted in WDW and sometimes don't watch where I'm going at certain points and I'm 22. All I was saying was it just doesn't sit right with me to go happily onto a ride where I am in an enclosed area and the child would be bored, antsy, curious, etc and MAY get distracted. It would make more sense to me if let's say the child wanted to go on a ride that I wasn't into or needed to use the bathroom and I could be waiting for them at the exit.

But by 10 they should know how to deal with bieng antsy, bored and curious because they have dealt on thier own in little situations before. That is the whole point of gradually teaching independence. By 10 they should have had to sit for a moment unattended and entertained themselves. We started that about 5-6 and gradually decreased the level of supervision and increased the time. She is still alive.

 

[fitzperry]

ITA. I don't think it is really about the kid at all but about Mommy's anxiety and inability to let go of that control. The KID would be fine MOM is the one that cannot handle it.

This is it, exactly. I'm nervous when I let my kids take a new step toward independence like this. They're thrilled. I don't feel right about holding them back so that I don't have to worry.

I'll probably get flamed for this, but I also think there's some competitive mommying involved. Comments along the lines of "it's not worth the risk just so you can go on a ride" imply that the parent cares more about the ride than the child.

 

[robinb]

I admit it - I'm terrified of flying. Do I travel in airplanes? Of course - I know my fear is irrational. The fear is real - I can't sleep nights before my flight, I spend the entire flight trying to mentally keep the plane in the air, I'm giddy when we land. I know I don't have anything to be afraid of, and yet I'm terrified. I suck it up, because of my family.

Well, that's my point. I can explain to you how safe flying is, how the aircraft are designed and how the Bernoulli effect keeps them in the air but you will still be terrified to fly. You "suck it up" for your kids and you are rewarded with a vacation at WDW. I can tell anxious parents that WDW is a safe place with plenty of security, that there has never been an abduction or sexual assault and that it's a great place to let their kids stretch their wings and they are still terrified to let go. There is no reason for them to "suck it up" because their behavior is for their kids ans they are rewarded with a safe child.

 

[drinkme]

In 2004 at DHS my wife waited as I rode ToT with another couple on our trip. A little girl, about 6, sat next to my wife and struck up a conversation. "My dad said you looked like a nice lady and I should sit with you while re rides ToT" She was at the park with her dad and her mom was back at the hotel with her brother. Hey, her dad was right, my wife is a nice lady!

LOL! This sounds like something my dh would do!!

Anyway, back to the OP's question:

I definitely would allow my 10 year old to wait by himself as long as he felt comfortable. If he/she at all felt uncomfortable doing that, then I would just not ride HM and let the other kids ride. However, I do have to add that my kids do things that some other parents on this board would never allow. Such as coming home by themselves after school when I'm still at work. They flew to NYC & back by themselves when they went to visit their dad. They cross busy streets by themselves, go to the grocery stores by themselves, & on our trip next month I'm going to allow them to stay for late night EMH at MK while I go back to the hotel with the little one. They are 12 & 14 years old now. My 14 year old would never have wanted to stay by herself at the ride exit at 10, but my 12 year old would have (and did at a younger age).

Each kid is different. You know what you feel comfortable with. If you are worried, then don't ride HM. The ride will still be there on your next trip.

 

[cheer25mom]

This is it, exactly. I'm nervous when I let my kids take a new step toward independence like this. They're thrilled. I don't feel right about holding them back so that I don't have to worry.

I'll probably get flamed for this, but I also think there's some competitive mommying involved. Comments along the lines of "it's not worth the risk just so you can go on a ride" imply that the parent cares more about the ride than the child.

I think you are right. There is a little bit of "mommy wars" at play too. I worry about my kid too, but I let her do what is best for HER not best for ME. I see that as our job as aparetns more than anything else.

 

[CatelynnMarie]

But by 10 they should know how to deal with bieng antsy, bored and curious because they have dealt on thier own in little situations before. That is the whole point of gradually teaching independence. By 10 they should have had to sit for a moment unattended and entertained themselves. We atarted that about 5-6 and gradually decreased the level of supervision and increased the time.

Note that I said depending on the child. I agree with you and the rest of the 'rents that you should gradually teach them independence, but that also imo doesn't mean you should just go, "Oh honey I REALLY want to go on this ride and I know you don't like it so is it okay if I just go on and you can wait right here? I'll get you some popcorn and I'll be right back. I love you *pats head*" whenever you feel like it.
Also for giggles I just sent a mass text to all the parentals that I know including family asking this situation and what their response would be. Every single answer so far has been a no it's not that good of an idea at that age to leave their kid alone especially in amusement parks.

 

[lindsroc]

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and I think in each persons defense- they are doing what they think is best FOR THEIR CHILD.

I wouldnt leave my daughter alone, do I think badly about someone who does leave their child alone- no. Obviously depending on the circumstances... if its a 5 yr old left alone, then yes I think thats ridiculous...but no one has mentioned doing that and thats not what this debate is about.

I personally feel there are too many things that could either go wrong, make my daughter nervous or uncomfortable etc. What if someone sits with her and talks about inappropriate stuff, puts their hand on her leg, says something out of sorts? Thats not an abduction, and people walking past may just think its a kid and their parent...but that is something that would be damaging to my daughter.

In the SMALL town we used to live, 2 girls 8 and 9 were at the library and a man there pulled down his pants and was doing things that I dont need to go into here. Those poor girls were traumatized after. I couldnt believe it. This is a SMALL town! He was a resident of the town. It was just crazy. So I dont think my worry would be about my child being abducted... i dont think that would happen. Its about a number of other things that could happen..some of them not even involving strangers. What if the ride breaks down, what if she needs to use the restroom- wanders over to one and then cant find her way back, it gets confusing especially with crowds etc. I know one year I got seperated from my husband and kids and it took me 2 hours to find them!!! I was a wreck.

I worry about my kids, 24/7... I love them, and I would be crushed if something ever happened to them- especially under my watch.

 

[cheer25mom]

Note that I said depending on the child. I agree with you and the rest of the 'rents that you should gradually teach them independence, but that also imo doesn't mean you should just go, "Oh honey I REALLY want to go on this ride and I know you don't like it so is it okay if I just go on and you can wait right here? I'll get you some popcorn and I'll be right back. I love you *pats head*" whenever you feel like it.
Also for giggles I just sent a mass text to all the parentals that I know including family asking this situation and what their response would be. Every single answer so far has been a no it's not that good of an idea at that age to leave their kid alone especially in amusement parks.

But if you have taught them to be independent up to this point then this is not a new or out of the ordiary situation for them and there is no reason NOT to allow them that freedom in a safe place like WDW. They already know how to handle it. It wouldn't be some huge ordeal, but a normal part of everyday life they have experienced many times before.

 

[fitzperry]

Note that I said depending on the child. I agree with you and the rest of the 'rents that you should gradually teach them independence, but that also imo doesn't mean you should just go, "Oh honey I REALLY want to go on this ride and I know you don't like it so is it okay if I just go on and you can wait right here? I'll get you some popcorn and I'll be right back. I love you *pats head*" whenever you feel like it.
Also for giggles I just sent a mass text to all the parentals that I know including family asking this situation and what their response would be. Every single answer so far has been a no it's not that good of an idea at that age to leave their kid alone especially in amusement parks.

It does depend on the child. And for purposes of a discussion like this, I assume we're talking about a typical kid, not one with special needs that might make this inadvisable or impossible. I am fortunate enough to have one of those typical 10yo's, and she has been in similar situations where she's had to entertain herself for awhile or ask an adult for help, etc. enough times that I would be comfortable doing what the OP described. I wouldn't be simply patting her on the head and waltzing off to a Disney ride leaving her in a situation where she wouldn't know what to do. Same goes for most of her friends. What the OP described should not be a big deal for a kid that age.

 

[cheer25mom]

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and I think in each persons defense- they are doing what they think is best FOR THEIR CHILD.

I wouldnt leave my daughter alone, do I think badly about someone who does leave their child alone- no. Obviously depending on the circumstances... if its a 5 yr old left alone, then yes I think thats ridiculous...but no one has mentioned doing that and thats not what this debate is about.

I personally feel there are too many things that could either go wrong, make my daughter nervous or uncomfortable etc. What if someone sits with her and talks about inappropriate stuff, puts their hand on her leg, says something out of sorts? Thats not an abduction, and people walking past may just think its a kid and their parent...but that is something that would be damaging to my daughter.

In the SMALL town we used to live, 2 girls 8 and 9 were at the library and a man there pulled down his pants and was doing things that I dont need to go into here. Those poor girls were traumatized after. I couldnt believe it. This is a SMALL town! He was a resident of the town. It was just crazy. So I dont think my worry would be about my child being abducted... i dont think that would happen. Its about a number of other things that could happen..some of them not even involving strangers. What if the ride breaks down, what if she needs to use the restroom- wanders over to one and then cant find her way back, it gets confusing especially with crowds etc. I know one year I got seperated from my husband and kids and it took me 2 hours to find them!!! I was a wreck.

I worry about my kids, 24/7... I love them, and I would be crushed if something ever happened to them- especially under my watch.

See this is just what i am talking about, no, kids that have never, ever been left alone and never taught to deal with this kind of stuff shouldn't be left alone suddently at WDW, but by 10 they should have been taught how to deal with the stuff you are describing. My DD knows better than to sit there and take either of the first two situations. She knows to immedately get loud and get noticed in such a situation. As for restrooms. crowds, ect by 10 they should have already had to go to the restroom in a crowded place on thier own. If you have to go, text mom that you are going and take care of it. They should have already been taught how to be aware of their surrroundings, use landmarks to get back where they came from, and what to do in the event that they DO get lost. They should have had to deal with all of this on a smaller scale before. Getting lost is fixable with a simple "I am by ______ come get me" text message and they should know that by 10.

 

[cheer25mom]

It does depend on the child. And for purposes of a discussion like this, I assume we're talking about a typical kid, not one with special needs that might make this inadvisable or impossible. I am fortunate enough to have one of those typical 10yo's, and she has been in similar situations where she's had to entertain herself for awhile or ask an adult for help, etc. enough times that I would be comfortable doing what the OP described. I wouldn't be simply patting her on the head and waltzing off to a Disney ride leaving her in a situation where she wouldn't know what to do. Same goes for most of her friends. What the OP described should not be a big deal for a kid that age.

Exactly, if you have been teaching those skills all along, it is not a big deal. Problems come in when a child who has been babied all along suddenly has to cope.

 

[fitzperry]

Its about a number of other things that could happen..some of them not even involving strangers. What if the ride breaks down, what if she needs to use the restroom- wanders over to one and then cant find her way back, it gets confusing especially with crowds etc. I know one year I got seperated from my husband and kids and it took me 2 hours to find them!!! I was a wreck.

I look at those things as learning experiences. Kids need to learn to find a restroom and find their way back to you. If they have trouble, they ask a castmember how to get back to HM or wherever they were supposed to meet you. Those scenarios are far more likely than the stranger ones, and, even if stressful for a few minutes, they are good, not bad.