Would you let your 14-year-old child...

[Jennifer S]

No Way - No how- sorry charlie.

 

[FINFAN]

Nope. When I was 16 a co-ed party I was at turned into a co-ed "crash" for the night...ummmm, I can't even imagine one that is pre-planned. As for church "lock-ins" I learned how to make my first Vodka-watermelon at age 13 thanks to my church youth group ...oh, the chaperones were way more than willing to "help". I saw girls who left the house in cute peter pan collar blouses turn into Tammy Faye make-up queens on the bus, planning their "sleeping bag" strategy for the nights we were spending at various churches....my parents were floored when I explained to them why I no longer cared to stay in youth group...basically, if given the opportunity, even if your child does not act this way, he/she will be exposed to kids who will, so think about it from all angles.

 

[MELSMICE]

The girls will probably all be wearing thongs and we know what that means!

I'd say no on this one!

 

[susy]

If you are naive enough to think that nothing will happen...I was the "goody-goody" in school and I can speak from experience -IT happened. This was WAY BACK in the early 80's, so you can imagine now.

 

[Blondie]

My 14 and 15 y.o. boys know they would be laughed out of the house if they asked to attend a mixed gender sleep over!

 

[Parkhopper]

Girl, I got your back on this one! This is just a baaaad idea. In nine months, everyone else will see just how bad of an idea it was too.

Bad idea! It won't take 9 months to show up though, STDs will start showing up MUCH sooner.

Suzi

 

[Tinkerbell_Girl]

NO WAY!!!

Nicole

 

[Keggy]

No way!

Beware of church functions that you think are "safe"! I attended a chruch functioned ski trip every year when I was in jr high and high school that were heavily chaperoned. There were ways around it....Believe me...

Kelly

 

[Tiggeroo]

I didn't read all the posts but I can see it's leaning heavily on the no's. I have two 17yo sons and this has come up alot. In the beginning I was a hard/fast no. But I changed my mind. The reason is that my sons have a very mixed group of friends. We live on the ocean and they all surf. Without even thinking about it we've had alot of co-ed sleepovers. It's just that alot of times the kids crash here. Here the girls generally sleep in seperate rooms. But sometimes they don't. DH and I are very observant and we truly don't feel any sexual relationship in this group. They've all had bf's and gf's but very rarely has it been within any part of their circle of friends. It truly seems to be the way the kids relate together.
That said, my son did get into trouble one time for sleeping at a friends house which became co-ed because I was unaware of it. I told him I want to be aware of whose house they are sleeping at and who the parents are that are supervising and I want to talk to the parents.When it happens here dh and I do alot of checking in on the rooms where the kids are sleeping. I didn't ease up on this at 14, it was more like 16 (probably an even worst age for things like this).
What I've found is at these co-ed sleepovers very little sleeping gets done. And it would take a very bold couple to attempt something in a room with 15 of their friends all together and parents going in and out, nobody really sleeping. If they wanted to have sex there are much easier places for them to do it.

 

[binny]

Nope. When I was 16 a co-ed party I was at turned into a co-ed "crash" for the night...ummmm, I can't even imagine one that is pre-planned. As for church "lock-ins" I learned how to make my first Vodka-watermelon at age 13 thanks to my church youth group ...oh, the chaperones were way more than willing to "help". I saw girls who left the house in cute peter pan collar blouses turn into Tammy Faye make-up queens on the bus, planning their "sleeping bag" strategy for the nights we were spending at various churches....my parents were floored when I explained to them why I no longer cared to stay in youth group...basically, if given the opportunity, even if your child does not act this way, he/she will be exposed to kids who will, so think about it from all angles.

wow that was SO not my experience!


We had a lot of church gatherings and we were very well supervised! By RESPONSIBLE adults. That must have been disheartening to you and your parents both,



To answer the OP in someones house no way! At a church sponsored event, yes, but then I know then parents of the teens at our church. They are more strict than *I* am!

LOL

 

[Rock'n Robin]

No one here is getting specific, so I will. Some kids that age (not all, again, please no "my child would never..." posts) want to experiment with sex every chance they get. Not intercourse perhaps, but oral sex is really on the rise in the US and in that age group specifically. These kids have gotten the "no sex" lecture and they think oral sex is OK. And yes, STDs can show up from this sooner rather than later. Just one poor innocent girl with low self esteem and a boy who knows how to manipulate, figure out what might happen.
And you barely know the parents--who knows what goes on in that home? We had a guy arrested a few years back in this area because he was videotaping girls when they changed after swimming! They could be angels, yes, but in this day and age can a parent afford to give everyone the benefit of the doubt in hosting a co-ed sleepover?
Tell your DS, DBF and exH that this is your responsibility and they need to be quiet and trust your judgement.
Robin M.

 

[poohandwendy]

To answer the OP...absolutely NOT...for all of the most obvious reasons. In the same way I would not allow a toddler to play on the street. Yeah, 'nothing' might happen, but why take the risk?

 

[Jessie]

I learned how to make my first Vodka-watermelon at age 13 thanks to my church youth group ...

I didnt know what watermelon was at 13.

I am usually quite relaxed when it comes to teenage issues, BUT it will be a cold day in hell before I allow that one.

 

[Mom-to-3]

No, no, no

My 13 year DS has "friends" who are constantly goading each other to do stuff. "Give her a hug... she wants a hug."

All night at a house? No way.

 

[cocowum]

NO WAY!!!

Last weekend My 13yo nephew went to one of those mixed gender church sleep overs. When he got home he said the only thing separating the girls from the boys was a sheet!!! He said they were awake long after the chaperones I could not believe he was allowed to go. His parents were like "No big Deal..." I just don't get it.

 

[Cass]

I would let him go to the party for a while... and pick him up at 10pm or something.

No way would I allow the sleepover - not unless I was there in the middle of them all in my sleeping bag!

 

[palmtreegirl]

I would let him go to the party for a while... and pick him up at 10pm or something.

No way would I allow the sleepover - not unless I was there in the middle of them all in my sleeping bag!

 

[jellymanoffspring]

No, No NOT gonna happen with my kids.....no co-ed sleepovers........

 

[floridaminnie]

Never ever ever.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

no, I've never allowed my son to do the Boy/Girl sleepovers. My life has more than enough stress in it thank-you.

When our church does youth group sleepovers -- the Pastor comes and gets the boys at around 11pm and takes them to his house, which is right next door, to sleep.

Of course, I guess they could always sneak out.

Now you guys have me all worried about that.