Would you leave a 9-year-old while you go on a ride?

[Angel Ariel]

I think a lot of what we're seeing in this thread is a result of generational differences. We Gen X parents were the first generation of so-called "latchkey kids," who were left alone, unsupervised, for hours at a time as both of our parents worked. Then we have the Gen Y parents, some of whose peers have literally been arrested and charged with crimes for letting their kids go to the park (I mean like a city park, not a Disney theme park) unsupervised.

Then you have the Oregon Trail generation like me that are somewhere in between Gen X and Gen Y in terms of how they were raised and how the world has changed in that time

 

[Ensusieasm]

Personally, I would not do it; alot can happen in 15 minutes.

Agree! There is such a thing as "a crime of opportunity". As in maybe the perpetrator wasn't even thinking of committing a crime, but an opportunity appears that is just too irresistible. Don't provide that opportunity.

 

[merrick]

i have 2 boys 20 months apart that don't dig anything remotely "scary" when it comes to rides (fearless about 100 other things but alas...). they were 7 and 9 when we went and they waited in line with us then were by-passed and waited together where we got off.

depending on the individual child, in your case, would determine how i would handle it.

 

[aaarcher86]

Then you have the Oregon Trail generation like me that are somewhere in between Gen X and Gen Y in terms of how they were raised and how the world has changed in that time

Funnily enough, I hear measles might be making a comeback...

 

[Magpie]

Agree! There is such a thing as "a crime of opportunity". As in maybe the perpetrator wasn't even thinking of committing a crime, but an opportunity appears that is just too irresistible. Don't provide that opportunity.

You know, this thread has given me a lot of material to chew over.

Every time anything bad ever happened, my mum always asked me, "What did you learn?"

I was molested over a period of time when I was eleven. I had to go to court to testify against the landlord of my building - who had a key and would let himself into our home when my mother was out. My mum, who tried her darndest to keep me safe, ultimately couldn't. What did I learn from that? That, unlike with the bullies at my school, speaking up made the hurting stop. It's something I think I've carried forward through my whole life - that sometimes speaking up doesn't get you punched or labeled a tattletale, sometimes speaking up makes everything better.

When I had kids of my own, I tried hard to make sure they knew they could always speak up. That I'd always listen. And I tried to teach them that I trusted both their good judgement and their resilience and ability to make smart decisions.

But I found my convictions really tested, when my son was diagnosed as hypoglycemic at age nine. He'd fainted, while out with his big sister, and I'd had to run six blocks to meet the ambulance. That was scary. What was even scarier was knowing that he had a paper route and regularly went out alone to deliver his papers. But, rather than make any rash decisions out of fear, I took the time to think through the consequences. What would it do to my boy's confidence, if I decided he couldn't do his paper route alone any more? How would he feel about this condition, that he'd have to live with the rest of his life? Would this become something that held him back, kept him from doing the things he was capable of doing?

In the end, I gave him a snack and lent him the family cellphone, and he went out to deliver his papers as usual, never once suspecting how scared I was to let him go.

And what did I learn from that? That parenting is an act of faith. It's terrifying sometimes, but I don't think I'd have done my children any favours if I'd followed them around with the idea always in my head that "anything can happen" and I shouldn't ever "provide that opportunity". I don't want them growing up like that. I don't want them becoming adults who believe they are always in danger, no matter where they are or what they're doing. I don't want them to think that every other human being is a likely predator, out to hurt them.

My mum spent four years teaching in Lahore. She came home alive. My grandfather died while riding a lawnmower in his own backyard. Life is weird. So... just live. Take reasonable chances. See what opportunities come your way. You might just learn something new!

 

[J and R's mom]

You know your own kiddo.

One of my DD would be fine waiting, the other DD wouldn't be (she'd get scared to be by herself). So for the one, it was a YES. For my other, it was a clear NO. Sounds like a YES for your DD.

Now my DH...that's a different story...

 

[jeneric997]

I assume she is tall enough for all the rides? Like others have suggested, take her through the line and tell the cast member before you load that she doesn't want to ride. It really is easy and who knows, maybe she will change her mind and want to ride!

 

[Collette]

No, I would not do this.

 

[conandrob240]

Never. Not only is it a 15 minute ride but what if, God forbid, the ride malfunctioned and it turned into an hour or two or three. Let the older one ride alone. You can put them on and be waiting when they exit.

 

[bumbershoot]

If your eyes are on your child at all times, if they start going in distress, you can grab them.

That attitude is going to kill a kid. Drowning is silent and doesn't look like drowning. Not even a little bit.

make sure she knows that cast members are the people she goes to if she has any trouble

CMs with a nametag behind a cash register area. Since she's 9 I'm sure she has noticed the themed costumes, so she knows to look for that, too.

A lot of people post "she might get scared" as a reason for not allowing the child to wait at the exit in the gift shop. Is this often an important reason for making decisions, with regards to your children?

The reason I ask is because I don't think "scared" is something it's ever occurred to me to protect my children from. I do try to think through possible complications and potential emergencies and I frequently role-played these things with my kids. "What would you do if...?" "And what then?"

When DS was younger, sure. But that was why we talked about things; so that he wouldn't waste time being scared and therefore make bad choices. And...I don't *want* him to be scared. I *want* him to be brave. He's a little skittish sometimes. We live in a doubly secure condo building and feel safe on a daily basis (though it was a huge mistake to read the book by the initial FBI profiler when DH was on an overseas trip and it was 3am, LOL...). DH went to a neighbor's condo one night when DS was around 6, maybe 7. He said he was OK. But he had NO sense of time then, and even though DH was gone about 10 minutes, DS thought it was hours, and went looking for him. Couldn't find the condo. Ended up in the elevator, all over the building (4 floors). Went back. DH came home, found DS sobbing. Sigh. Because I don't want DS sobbing out of fear, we started showing him around MORE. Made sure he knew that he could knock on our next door neighbor's door and he would call DH for him. (we don't have a home phone, I was elsewhere, and that just leaves DH's phone, so DS couldn't have called)

And at Disney we are always chatting about "what if" and "what now". And I'll admit, keeping him from being scared (by being prepared) is a big reason!

Is there even a chicken exit for Kali River????

OK now, she won't do Kali? I take back all my helpful hints. She needs to do Kali. It's not even scary!

I think a lot of what we're seeing in this thread is a result of generational differences. We Gen X parents were the first generation of so-called "latchkey kids," who were left alone, unsupervised, for hours at a time as both of our parents worked. Then we have the Gen Y parents, some of whose peers have literally been arrested and charged with crimes for letting their kids go to the park (I mean like a city park, not a Disney theme park) unsupervised.

The Baltimore couple? Loking at their pictures, they are more X than Y*. Closer to my age.

And for the record, I think that the parents in the 70s were insane. Or hated us children. I was latchkey, in charge of self, brother, dogs, and home at 9. It was INSANE. It was stupid. It was also necessary. Mom worked her rear off, dad gone and useless, and mom couldn't afford babysitters that wouldn't sit and get stoned while watching us. (though how they got the money for that I'm not sure)

I am FAR more careful with my son than my mom had the leisure to be. I would not let my son walk *a mile away* to a park like that family keeps doing. I especially wouldn't do it after CPS had already chatted with me about it.

And...."Maryland law prohibits children younger than age 8 from being unattended in a dwelling or car but makes no reference to outdoors. A person must be at least 13 years old to supervise a child younger than 8." THAT is the problem they are running into. The 10 year old isn't old enough to supervise the 6 year old and the 6 year old isn't supposed to be unattended.

But I think it's OK to have a little freedom at WDW. Other than downtown London, I'm not sure one could pick a more "on camera" place.... And with the CMs all around, standing in a giftshop is just about the perfect place to have a little freedom.

If it's the only choice you have though, I agree with the person that suggested the baby swap area, where she would most likely be the safest.

No *area* for baby swap.

I thought there was a kid swap thing? Is there an age limit on that?

Kid swap thing, yes. No *area*. You show the too-small kid (NOT scared, but too small) to the first CM you encounter at the ride, you get a swap pass. First riding group rides, comes out, second riding group goes in when they wish that day. But they wait anywhere they like.

(800-696-8105 or 407-828-0920). If a babysitter is needed throughout your stay, the Walt Disney Company recommends utilizing the services of Kid’s Nite Out. Kid’s Nite Out Caregivers can provide one-on-one in-room childcare in the comfort of your Walt Disney World Resort room or can just hang out with your family if you need a father’s/mother’s helper. The sitters are over the age of 18 years old and are certified in child/infant CPR and basic first aid. Reservations can be made up to three months in advance and require at least a 24-hour notice.

dp, I'm not combating you. I don't think you are one of the "heck no" people here. But basically you're giving an option that says "don't leave the kid alone in the park where they are under video surveillance and surrounded by umpteen good and decent people", and telling her to hire ONE person, one unsupervised person, to watch the child ALONE in a hotel room which is NOT under video surveillance.

Makes no sense, given the fears some have in this thread.

Never. Not only is it a 15 minute ride but what if, God forbid, the ride malfunctioned and it turned into an hour or two or three. Let the older one ride alone. You can put them on and be waiting when they exit.

What exactly happens between the ages of the OP's kids that makes the younger one too precious to leave for 3, 15, 30 minutes, but you can just send the older one ON the ride that might break down for 30+ minutes? At what point does the 9 year old *get* the freedom to work out how to be OK on a ride alone? Unless some freedom is given.




*when did Gen Y become millennial? I just looked up Y to find out birth year ranges, and that's who is being called millennial? Pick a name and stick with it!

 

[smiths02]

Never. Not only is it a 15 minute ride but what if, God forbid, the ride malfunctioned and it turned into an hour or two or three. Let the older one ride alone. You can put them on and be waiting when they exit.

The kid could go to a CM.

Kids much younger get separated from their parents every single day at Disneyworld. No child has been permanently lost there.

 

[cjparker0110]

Planning a trip for me and my two kids. My 9 year old does not do any big rides - like not even Splash or 7DMT. My 13 year old loves them, and I feel bad thinking about him ride them all by himself. I was thinking maybe for some rides I could go on with him and leave my daughter at the exit of the ride where we will be coming out? Obviously not if it's a long wait, but say 10-15 min. Max. What do you think??

I've never had to deal with this as I will be making my first trip to WDW with kids next year (and the oldest will be 6 so that's a no on our end...haha). That said, it is all up to you but there are some things to look into first.

1. I can't speak for Disney, but I used to work at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, VA and we had a lot of people that would wait in the line for something and then while the family gets on, the one or two that didn't want to ride escape to the exit. Try asking around and see if they allow for this at WDW.

2. What is the maturity level of your 9-year old and, more importantly, how confident are you in her ability to be safe? I ask this because WDW is a busy place and times have changed since we were younger. I remember going off on my own when I was 10 years old, meeting my family only for lunch and dinner. My understanding is that you can't even do that anymore. Today's world is a little more risky to do that in. Would you feel confident that she would stay where she is supposed to stay and that she would be fully capable of saying no to a stranger with a convincing story?

3. Don't forget about ride time!!! Let's use your Splash Mountain example. Let's say it has a short wait of only 15 minutes. That doesn't sound so bad. But isn't the ride itself about 10 minutes long? So your 15 minute wait is now 25. That's nearly a half hour for your daughter to wait all alone.

It's just my opinion, but I feel like you'd be best off doing the "child swap" thing. Let your oldest go on alone and then when he comes off you use the child swap pass to go back on without waiting while he stays with your daughter.

Whatever you decide, enjoy your trip and make sure you find fun things for her to do!!

 

[Turn the Page]

At 9 years old I was babysitting my younger brother during summer vacations and such until my mom got home. She only worked part time so she was home at noon but still.

It depends on the child of course but there is no reason why a reasonably mature 9 year old cannot wait in the gift shop or at the exit for a parent and older sibling to get off the ride. It's Disney World people. Yes, bad things can happen anywhere but it's not as if the child is being left along for hours on a street corner in inner city Detroit. The child will be fine.

 

[TJDisneymama]

OK now, she won't do Kali? I take back all my helpful hints. She needs to do Kali. It's not even scary!

I know, can you believe it? There is a list of rides that she REFUSES to ride.....based on nothing but stubborness (in my opinion).

What exactly happens between the ages of the OP's kids that makes the younger one too precious to leave for 3, 15, 30 minutes, but you can just send the older one ON the ride that might break down for 30+ minutes? At what point does the 9 year old *get* the freedom to work out how to be OK on a ride alone? Unless some freedom is given.

yeah, in that scenario I'm thinking how my older would be MORE FREAKED OUT at being stuck on a ride alone, then the younger one would be at standing around waiting an extra 30 minutes....I think in that case I'd rather be with the older one on the ride!

 

[maxiesmom]

I don't know, at this point maybe you need to leave her home. Or, as another poster has done, state there is a family rule that you must try every ride once. I get there are rides that some of us don't like, but if she is refusing to go on most of them and you know she is capable of riding them without fear, that is a different kettle of fish. Or maybe even tell her she can sit out one of every 4 rides, but not every other ride.

If it is a case of she isn't scared and just doesn't want to go, I would force the issue.

 

[TJDisneymama]

I don't know, at this point maybe you need to leave her home. Or, as another poster has done, state there is a family rule that you must try every ride once. I get there are rides that some of us don't like, but if she is refusing to go on most of them and you know she is capable of riding them without fear, that is a different kettle of fish. Or maybe even tell her she can sit out one of every 4 rides, but not every other ride.

If it is a case of she isn't scared and just doesn't want to go, I would force the issue.

I typed up a list a few backs, it's a total of 11 rides (at all 4 parks) that she won't go on. it's not a huge deal because I don't go on most of them either because of motion sickness; there are only 4 of the 11 that I will go on (splash, 7DMT, Kali, ToT). Don't get me wrong, she is a HUGE WDW fan, it's not that she doesn't like going. She probably loves it more than ODS. She absolutely loves meeting the characters and just being in the parks, and all the other rides in the parks except those 11, lol.

I think I will try it first with 7DMT because that ride is super short. If she comes through the line with us, then goes out the chicken exit when we board she will literally be alone for like what? 3 minutes? If for some strange reason she absolutely HATES being alone (which she won't but just in case), then she can simply come on the other 3 rides with us. Her choice.

 

[Kimberly9701]

That does not describe my kids at ALL. My 9 y.o. would not feel guilty or sad in any way, shape or form, lol. She would actually probably feel grown up. The 13 y.o. going on the rides by himself, I know will feel sad that he has to go on all these rides alone.

I tend to lean towards sympathizing with my son because 9 y.o. DD is SO stubborn, she won't even TRY any of these rides! She's been going to WDW since she was 3 and she simply REFUSES to try them. If she tried them and was genuinely afraid or hated them, then fine, I would understand. So I feel like my son is getting the short end of the stick because of her stubbornness.

I completely understand your reasoning and I say leave the 9 year old!
Here's why- I have a rule on "trying new things" regardless of food, roller coaster, experience, toothpaste etc etc.
I tell my son if he tries something and doesn't like it, then we don't have to do it again. What usually happens? He ends up liking whatever it is I want him to try. (Besides a toothpaste once lol).
We have season passes to a cedar fair park here and he takes after me in my love of rollercoasters. Maybe too much bc he wanted to do the Slingshot in Orlando at age 5, and I tried to talk him out of it- I thought it may scare him. But- He won and we did it, and he loved it. I have a niece who is exactly the opposite. We waited for 2 hours in a line for a coaster called Diamondback, when we got in the seats she jumped out after I pulled down my restraint. I was so mad. I ended up purchasing a fast pass for us..made her go back in line. And she loved it.
Maybe leaving your 9 year old alone will make her think that maybe she should just try the next ride. And I do think it would be more fun for your older child if you ride with him.
All of that being said- make sure 9 year old has a phone, and definitely have her wait in line with you til the end.
My 2cents anyway.
Have a wonderful trip!

 

[Kimberly9701]

Also...maybe try to bribe her with something for the first one?
I'm not above a bribe if I think it will benefit everyone.lol

 

[Kimberly9701]

I typed up a list a few backs, it's a total of 11 rides (at all 4 parks) that she won't go on. it's not a huge deal because I don't go on most of them either because of motion sickness; there are only 4 of the 11 that I will go on (splash, 7DMT, Kali, ToT). Don't get me wrong, she is a HUGE WDW fan, it's not that she doesn't like going. She probably loves it more than ODS. She absolutely loves meeting the characters and just being in the parks, and all the other rides in the parks except those 11, lol.

I think I will try it first with 7DMT because that ride is super short. If she comes through the line with us, then goes out the chicken exit when we board she will literally be alone for like what? 3 minutes? If for some strange reason she absolutely HATES being alone (which she won't but just in case), then she can simply come on the other 3 rides with us. Her choice.

Ok..I didn't read this before my post. Love it!
We all have different parenting styles, and none are right or wrong. But I don't believe in coddling a child who is being stubborn or showing fear for something that we know won't endanger them. There's going to be things that scare you in life..there's going to be times where you're out of your comfort zone, and no matter what age that is a valuable lesson to learn. If you don't want to do something? Fine. But don't expect everyone else to miss out with you.
Maybe that sounds harsh..but again, to me it's about a life lesson.

 

[Magpie]

I ask this because WDW is a busy place and times have changed since we were younger. I remember going off on my own when I was 10 years old, meeting my family only for lunch and dinner. My understanding is that you can't even do that anymore. Today's world is a little more risky to do that in.

Actually, today's world is a lot LESS risky, than it's ever been before. Especially if you're a child!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...ver-been-a-safer-time-to-be-a-kid-in-america/