Would you honor last wishes if...

[Abbie]

I read a bit of your other thread and am sorry you are having such a tough time with this.

As far as honoring wishes.....that's hard to say. I don't know that I could deliberately hurt my siblings to follow a last wish.

Just today, though, my one sister is all miffed because she realized my parents weren't planning to make use of their cemetery plots. She wanted to know when this decision was made and why wasn't she involved in it? They needed to be in an "appropriate" final resting place. Umm, Dad's been cremated for a year and a half now, are you just now realizing we didn't bury him?? I had to tell her that Mom made the decision a long time ago and we don't get a vote. So I fully expect she will raise a fuss when Mom's gone but as executor I will follow Mom's wishes on this and I'm truly sorry if she is hurt by that.

Not the same situation as what you are talking about, but an example of following final wishes that may hurt someone I suppose.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Depends on the wish.

 

[PatsGirl]

I don't think it is an always or never kind of thing, it really depends on the specific circumstances.

I've been having the conversation with my parents for years, that if I die before them I want no wake or funeral and want to be cremated and a simple "celebration of life" during the summer months (even if it has to be several months after my death) where my ashes are scattered over the ocean and people can celebrate the good times we had.

They are adamant it is not going to happen that way. I am single at the moment so no SO to help me get my wishes but DS turned 20 recently and I will soon talk to him about it and hope I can get him to see it my way

In this instance, it doesn't hurt anyone, we aren't a particularly religious family so I'm not stepping on anyone's toes there, but it's more that my parents think a traditional wake/funeral is the ONLY way

 

[MushyMushy]

For the most part, no I would not honor somebody's wishes if it would hurt other people. I just won't be party to that, and I would let them know. However, the two things I would honor are funeral plans/wishes or living will. My sister, father and I strongly disagreed with my mother's choices to die, but we still respected her wishes.

 

[DebbieB]

Please give details.

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2515002

I think it depends. If the person who made the wish was of sound mind at the time, I would honor it. In this case, I would have called to inform the sibling that he passed. If the dad did not want to see her before he died, then I would have honored that.