Would you have a problem with this fundraiser?

[Beth76]

Actually what you said was:

It's also ridiculous to compare it to Luekemia and other life-threatening diseases and illnesses. (Note, I'm not saying the OP did this, but the idea was tossed around.)

Did you see that the situation was clarified? My eye roll stands

Since you put my quote in bold you should see that I said you didn't do that. I was talking about the other people who likened it to an illness.

 

[Ziva]

I wouldn't attend an event like that.


You're choosing an adoption route that cost 30,000 so therefore you should fund it yourself like the poster below said there are other more affordable ways out there. It's one thing if someone offers you help and you accept but asking friends and family for money, is just wrong in my opinion.

Best of luck!

As an adoptive mother of three children (all adopted as infants ranging from 10 weeks to 9 days old) I know first hand that one can adopt a child for much less than $30,000. We were charged about $1,200 for the first, $600 for the second, and about $1,500 for the third.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

yes, I have given money to Political canidates and causes. I feel that it is in my own best interest to have people other than Billionaire Oil Executives who can afford to to spend millions of dollars from their own bank accounts on their run for office in places of power to help make decisions. It takes money to get elected, and I donate to it.

That is completely different.

I have no problem with International Adoptions if that is the route you choose to parenthood.

It just wouldn't be something that I would choose to donate to.

 

[Jennyfyar]

Also the difference between a book or bake sale and a dinner is that I am paying for goods that I would buy anyhow. Instead of the money going towards the store, it's just going to a cause. A raffle I'm kind of iffy about, but a dinner is spending more money on something I could make at home for cheaper since I doubt the cost of the meal would be equal to the cost of the food.

It's actually exactly what you said.

I also never compared infertility to Leukemia and other illnesses (life-threatening or not). I just would never compare it to something as trivial as limp hair.

IMO, this is not a tacky idea.

 

[kdibattista]

I've decided... We would raise maybe a couple grand by doing this and that won't even put a dent in the total. It's soooooooo not worth it to have to deal with attitudes like this.

 

[kdibattista]

Since you put my quote in bold you should see that I said you didn't do that. I was talking about the other people who likened it to an illness.

I swear... I'm the queen of misinterpretations today. I read the "but the idea was tossed around" as you did not believe my clarification. My fault. Eye roll withdrawn.

 

[Crankyshank]

It's actually exactly what you said.

I also never compared infertility to Leukemia and other illnesses (life-threatening or not). I just would never compare it to something as trivial as limp hair.

IMO, this is not a tacky idea.

Yes I know what I said thank you very much. Did you read the prior posts leading up to that? Because you completely misunderstood the context. The OP asked why a book sale or raffle was ok and a dinner wasn't if we thought that raising money for an adoption was a bad idea. I gave my reason why I would buy a book because it's something I would buy anyhow, but I wouldn't go to a dinner to give money to a cause I didn't agree with because that would be paying for more than the goods I purchased.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I've decided... We would raise maybe a couple grand by doing this and that won't even put a dent in the total. It's soooooooo not worth it to have to deal with attitudes like this.

So if I don't think this is a good idea does that mean I have an attitude?

 

[Jennyfyar]

I did not misunderstand the context, I just don't agree with your position. A fundraiser often involves paying for more than the goods purchased.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I did not misunderstand the context, I just don't agree with your position. A fundraiser often involves paying for more than the goods purchased.

ITA, but I think the point is in one case I was buying something that I wanted to buy and the fundraiser benefited, in the other case I was asked to buy something I did not want to buy at that time. Using the book sale. I want to buy book X and they have it, I get it and we are both happy I have my book they have their money). I go and want to buy book X and they don't have it, do I need to buy book Y (I don't get what they want and they get their money) or can I just leave empty handed (no different than my not showing up)? Does that make sense?

 

[kdibattista]

So if I don't think this is a good idea does that mean I have an attitude?

Why assume I was talking about you

 

[kdibattista]

Maybe I will get a cute little girl to sell some cookies at the bank or some cute little boy to pester people to buy popcorn outside the supermarket . People need that stuff, right

 

[Nana Annie]

I've decided... We would raise maybe a couple grand by doing this and that won't even put a dent in the total. It's soooooooo not worth it to have to deal with attitudes like this.

Wow, so sorry you feel this way.

You asked for honest opinions. 90% of the posters (including Dear Abby) said they thought the idea of asking for money for yourself was tacky.

So, because you didn't care for the opinions expressed, we all have "attitudes" you don't want to deal with?

You just proved my point why I do not contribute to any fund where the recipient is the one asking for the money. What ever happened to humility?

Good luck with your daughter.

 

[Crankyshank]

I did not misunderstand the context, I just don't agree with your position. A fundraiser often involves paying for more than the goods purchased.

I am quite familiar with what goes on with fundraising. Been there and done that on both ends of the fundraising spectrum.
What you're glossing over here is that while *you* agree with what the fundraiser is for and would spend money to support it , I do not and would not. So therefor I would not pay extra to go to a dinner in order to support a cause I do not agree with.

 

[Jennyfyar]

ITA, but I think the point is in one case I was buying something that I wanted to buy and the fundraiser benefited, in the other case I was asked to buy something I did not want to buy at that time. Using the book sale. I want to buy book X and they have it, I get it and we are both happy I have my book they have their money). I go and want to buy book X and they don't have it, do I need to buy book Y (I don't get what they want and they get their money) or can I just leave empty handed (no different than my not showing up)? Does that make sense?

Totally makes sense. My point is that if it is a cause you believe in, you could buy book Y and Z. If you don't believe in or agree with the cause, don't go to the book sale.

 

[barkley]

You were dealt the choice of having or not having. Many people do not find until they are older that they cannot have children of their own.

and the adoptive parent is dealt the choice of adopting or not adopting as well as going through a higher cost private agency vs. a no cost or government sponsored public agency. they also generaly ( but not all) choose to go with private higher cost international adoptions because the choose not to wait as long for a u.s. adoption, choose to opt to select the sex of their child, choose the nationality of their child, choose not to run the risk of having a child with genetic or birth defects.

if an individual (fertile or infertile) chooses to go with a higher cost adoption and the advantages it affords them-they should be ready, willing and able to "afford" those advantages.

 

[hydster]

Maybe I will get a cute little girl to sell some cookies at the bank or some cute little boy to pester people to buy popcorn outside the supermarket . People need that stuff, right

Lime green ribbons might sell better

Those that find it tacky....you find it tacky.
Thost that don't find it tacky....don't find it tacky.

Nuff said! If you find it tacky don't go if invited....if you don't find it tacky then go if invited. OP you cant please everyone all the time!
Good luck getting your child!

 

[Tinijocaro]

Please dont' take this the wrong way...but in my mind "If you can't afford the adoption...how can you afford the kid*?"

KWIM?
*ie - the costs associated with a child...food/medical/education/ect...

JMO.

Adoption costs happen all at once, raising kids costs happen a little at a time. Most people can't come up with the kind of money needed for an adoption- that's why I did all mine the old-fashioned way (I really had wanted to adopt at least one child). If I had to adopt and had to come up with $30,000- I probably wouldn't have any kids.

Yes, to the OP- I would attend your fundraiser if you were family or a close friend.

Jackie

 

[kdibattista]

You asked for honest opinions. 90% of the posters ([including Dear Abby)said they thought the idea of asking for money for yourself was tacky.

Your comparing my situation to the one in Dear Abby and maybe you missed that it was my mother who brought the idea to me and wanted to organize

So, because you didn't care for the opinions expressed, we all have "attitudes" you don't want to deal with?

Actually, I was very appreciative in many of my posts of all the respectful answers. Never did I say anyone who didn't agree with me had an attitude but you have to admit some of the responses I got did.

You just proved my point why I do not contribute to any fund where the recipient is the one asking for the money. What ever happened to humility?

Wow, I'm sorry you feel that way. Humility goes out the door when it comes to my child.

 

[PaulaSue]

No problem, don't know if I would go to it, depends if I liked the fundraiser product.

IMO, it is much better than outright asking for handout, a like DH's cousin did.