Would you go to a wedding without your spouse or LONG TERM S.O. ?

[DisneyWorldOct08]

I recently got an invite to a very formal wedding in June and I am not sure why this bothers me so much but it does.

Background: I do not know the bride at all, I know the groom’s family because the groom was my brother’s best friend growing up. His mother and my mother are best friends. So they invited the entire family (my mom & dad, my brother & his wife, and...just me).

My invitation was addressed to just me at my address (obviously separate from my parents and brother). It was not addressed to me & guest. This bothers me because I have been dating the same man since late 2006.

I’ve never experienced being invited to a wedding before, ever, where adults were not allowed to bring their long term signifigant other (or even just a date).

I really don’t even want to go without my BF. Is that odd? Aside from the groom’s family and my family, I won’t know anyone there. It’s a formal, night wedding about an hour and a half from my house and I’m just not comfortable getting all dressed up/dolled up and going to a formal wedding without him.

We trust each other, but to be honest, I’d feel weird if he was getting all dressed up and going to something like this without me as well. It just seems…strange.

Is that ridiculous of me?

Would you go to a wedding without your spouse or long term SO?

I do however like the groom and his family. I used to babysit the groom when he was a kid! Hahaha (yeah I feel old!) so I don’t want to “not go” for him & his family. I'd like to be there, just not w/out my SO.

Oh, and also, I will seriously NEVER hear the end of it from my mother if I don’t go since the groom’s mom is her best friend.

I am not going to be rude and “ask” to bring my BF when he was not invited.

I don’t know… am I just being silly?

 

[Bob Slydell]

I would and I have. My wife was thrilled to not have to go, in fact.

 

[Darcy03231]

In this case I would send my regrets and a nice gift.

 

[Evil Genius]

I've gone to weddings alone before when I was dating. I had a lot of fun too.

 

[kribit]

I wouldn't go, but would send a gift.

 

[va32h]

Well yes, I do think you are being silly. You are a grown woman; you can go out in public without your boyfriend.

My husband and I have been to weddings without each other; if we are unable to get a sitter for the children (and the children aren't on the invitation). We survived and so did our marriage.

 

[NMAmy]

Yes, I would. No one knows EVERYONE at a wedding except possibly the bride and groom (and even they are going to be meeting people like their future spouse's great aunt Matilda for the first time.) You know your family and the groom's family which is a lot more folks than I've known at some weddings I've attended.

Unfortunately, with costs as high as they are nowadays, sometimes the bride and groom need to cut guests where they can and that means cutting the "and guest" portion of the invitation.

Have they met your BF? Do you and your BF live together or are you just dating? If they've never met him, they may not realize that you're in a serious relationship or feel obliged to invite him.

If it really bothers you, then decline the invitation.

 

[Maleficent13]

What Bob and EG and Amy said.

 

[nataliela]

I a going to a wedding single this summer.

The invite was addressed to my husband and I, but he has something for work.

The wedding is more casual and I have no problem going solo to it.



I think I would feel a bit more odd getting in formal gear for a solo event.

I would also not ask to bring a date. Just suck it up as a faux pas on their part.

 

[SydneyBristow]

I went to a wedding once without DH before we were married and I was so bored, I wouldn't do it again unless it was family or a very good friend.

If you don't want to go just decline the invitation.

 

[ChristaDeVil]

I've been to more weddings without my hubby than with him. Actually, he has been to several without me also! My advice is to go...you may have a better time than you are expecting.

 

[mickeyboat]

Yes, I would. No one knows EVERYONE at a wedding except possibly the bride and groom (and even they are going to be meeting people like their future spouse's great aunt Matilda for the first time.) You know your family and the groom's family which is a lot more folks than I've known at some weddings I've attended.

Unfortunately, with costs as high as they are nowadays, sometimes the bride and groom need to cut guests where they can and that means cutting the "and guest" portion of the invitation.

Have they met your BF? Do you and your BF live together or are you just dating? If they've never met him, they may not realize that you're in a serious relationship or feel obliged to invite him.

If it really bothers you, then decline the invitation.

MTE!

Denae

 

[golfgal]

Yes and we have both done that. We were invited to a wedding of someone that works for DH this past summer. I did NOT want to go, well neither did he but he felt he had to. I had 'something going on' that day and it was DH's excuse to leave right away too . There have been other times when one of us went to a wedding and the other didn't for various reasons. Not knowing the circumstances behind the invites they might just not have had room for 'guests'. You have to draw the line someplace. I wouldn't worry about it, go, have fun.

 

[Camicar]

I have gone to formal affairs, including weddings, without my dh when I know other people who will be there and he doesn't know them. I don't see the point of dragging him to an event where he'll only have me to talk to. (Because around here, if people don't know you, they will cut you dead. The art of cocktail conversation is nonexistent around here). Frankly, it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I have also gone on vacations without him as well. And he recently went to a family event without me and it was a big whatever.

In this case, I'd be examining why I'd be attending this wedding with or without my SO. Obviously since you've never met the bride, you haven't stayed close with the groom either. Therefore, I would see no reason to attend with or without the SO. I'd send a gift and my regrets.

 

[CraftyMouse]

Well yes, I do think you are being silly. You are a grown woman; you can go out in public without your boyfriend.

My husband and I have been to weddings without each other; if we are unable to get a sitter for the children (and the children aren't on the invitation). We survived and so did our marriage.

I agree. I guess I just don't understand how going without him would be a problem.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Well yes, I do think you are being silly. You are a grown woman; you can go out in public without your boyfriend.

My husband and I have been to weddings without each other; if we are unable to get a sitter for the children (and the children aren't on the invitation). We survived and so did our marriage.

I agree. I guess I just don't understand how going without him would be a problem.

What they said.

 

[DisneyWorldOct08]

Yes, we are adults and we go places without each other all the time. I've just never been invited to something as formal as a very formal evening wedding before and not been allowed to bring a guest.

I think it's the "formal" aspect I'm not comfortable with. From what I understand, the brides family is quite wealthy and this is set to be quite the gala. I don't really enjoy weddings in general but formal ones even less so.

No, we don't live together, but we have been in a committed relationship since 2006 and it's no big secret or something they would not have known.

I will probably go, but more so I don't have to listen to my mom call me flipping out on me for skipping it for months following...

And I'm SURE BF doesn't really want to go anyway. I was just really surprised because I've really never been to a wedding where people could not bring a date.

 

[DisneyWorldOct08]

I have gone to formal affairs, including weddings, without my dh when I know other people who will be there and he doesn't know them. I don't see the point of dragging him to an event where he'll only have me to talk to. (Because around here, if people don't know you, they will cut you dead. The art of cocktail conversation is nonexistent around here). Frankly, it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I have also gone on vacations without him as well. And he recently went to a family event without me and it was a big whatever.

In this case, I'd be examining why I'd be attending this wedding with or without my SO. Obviously since you've never met the bride, you haven't stayed close with the groom either. Therefore, I would see no reason to attend with or without the SO. I'd send a gift and my regrets.

But were you at least invited to bring your spouse or guest?

I've been to all levels of weddings for friends and family before and never once not had the invite addressed to myself & guest.

The primary reason I am going is because I consider it an obligation to my family more than anything else. I haven't stayed close to them, but my mother would be appalled if I didn't go. She was actually rather shocked that they didn't put "and guest" on the invite as well though.

Thanks for the insight everyone.

 

[crzyred]

Ok so why not go to the wedding, decline the Reception and go out to eat in a nice restaurant with your BF?

 

[java]

Yes, we are adults and we go places without each other all the time. I've just never been invited to something as formal as a very formal evening wedding before and not been allowed to bring a guest.

I think it's the "formal" aspect I'm not comfortable with. From what I understand, the brides family is quite wealthy and this is set to be quite the gala. I don't really enjoy weddings in general but formal ones even less so.

No, we don't live together, but we have been in a committed relationship since 2006 and it's no big secret or something they would not have known.

I will probably go, but more so I don't have to listen to my mom call me flipping out on me for skipping it for months following...

And I'm SURE BF doesn't really want to go anyway. I was just really surprised because I've really never been to a wedding where people could not bring a date.

With weddings costing at least $150 a plate these days, guest lists are getting tighter. You don't know the bride or groom and are "mom's best friend's kids" so the marrieds get invited with spouse, dating not so much. I understand you feeling like your SO "SHOULD" have been invited but he wasn't so either go or not based on if you want to or not.
If you decide to not go just explain to your mother that you were not interesting in spending a night out alone while everyone that you knew going was coupled off. Send a gift and be done with it. (that is if you don't want to go)

Oh and my Sister (single and dating long term) often gets invited stag- If you are not living together and are just dating it doesn't hold the same "invite worthy" status to the weddings- You know you are commited but how do they?