Would you do this?

[torinsmom]

So, my ex and I have been divorced for almost 10 years now. We have a 15 year old son together. He was married again for less than a year and also has an 11 month old child. He likes to brag that he is a good father, but sees my son about twice a month for maybe 8-10 hours each month. He had to be ordered to pay child support for DS and does nothing extra, and he has yet to pay CS for the baby. Posts millions of pics of the kids on Facebook and gets comments about what a great daddy he is.

So, anywho, he had knee surgery about 2 weeks ago. He has been living with his mom about 1.25 hours away since he separated from his second wife. He will be out of work, unable to drive, for 2 more weeks. He wants me to bring DS down to see him. I have two jobs during the week, teaching and babysitting almost every afternoon. On Sunday, I am in charge of children's church, which I have to plan for on Saturday. I just don't want to take 4 hours out of my weekend for him to see DS for an hour. He has been complaining on his facebook page about his "wicked" other ex, because she won't bring the baby to him. She works nights as a nurse, and sleeps when the baby sleeps during the day. I'm sure he would be complaining about me if I weren't his "friend", or maybe he knows I will read it and know he is talking about me too.

So, should either of us feel badly for not taking the kids down to see him? My thing is that someone in his family(Or one of his 850+ facebook "friends) could bring him up here and he could see both his kids. He says that he is bored, so wouldn't that be like killing two birds with one stone? He has lots of time on his hands, and we have very little.

Marsha

 

[Mouse House Mama]

You don't want to know the two word that I would use to respond to his request.

 

[Jennasis]

NO. Don't feel bad. He could have his mommy come pick up your DS if he wanted to see him. YOU are under no obligation to do so...unless your son asks you to take him there. THEN I might make the drive.

 

[C.Ann]

Has your DS been asking to see his dad? If he has, that would be the deciding factor for me.. I would take him.. It's a pain, but you need to do what is best for your son..

 

[torinsmom]

No, he actually says he doesn't want to go see him. He loves his dad, but would rather be home. And his "mommy" has always said I never "allowed" her to be close to DS. She always wanted me to bring DS to her, and I told her it was the same distance from her house to mine as it was from my house to hers. My parents have always come to visit and picked him up, and they live further away than her. I'm sure she agrees with my ex that we are terribly selfish women not to bow down to his every want.

Marsha

 

[ilovejack02]

If my son wanted to see him I would bring him no matter if it was a pain. If he doesnt care one way or the other .. no I wouldnt do it.

 

[Pakey]

I would not lose a moment's sleep over this. At 15, I'm sure your son is already aware of the level of involvement his father has in his life and knows that you are an excellent mom who has sacrificed all along for him.

 

[torinsmom]

Yes, I have tried my best not to utter a negative word about his father in front of him. Now he sees it on his own. It's kind of sad in a way, but even a slightly involved dad is better than no dad at all, I suppose. He loves his kids, but did not have a good role model for how a father should act. He was also raised to believe his **** didn't stink, as my mom would say. So, everything is all about him. I have to act all nicey-nice about it right now, since my son is still a minor, but in three more years, I will not have to mince words anymore, LOL.

 

[EthansMom]

I agree with the others. If DS wanted to go see his dad or if his dad wanted to come up to see him, then I'd accomodate that. But, if DS doesn't really want to see him and the ex can't be bothered to make his own transportation arrangements, then there's no real reason for you to do it.