Would you be comfortable letting your spouse carpool to work alone....

[trmcguire]

with a member of the opposite sex?

Here's my situation: I work about an hour and a half away from where I live. I just got a new boss about two weeks ago and he happens to live within walking distance of our house. We thought it would be great to carpool to work since we would be saving a ton on gas, as well as tolls. My husband thinks married people don't carpool alone with people of the opposite sex. (The guy is my boss, an he is married) My husband trusts me completely (its the guys he might not trust ) , but he is very much traditional and likes to do things how most people do. He had a single mom growing up, so as far as marriage, he doesn't know anything about how it can work. He says, if this is normal and most people would do this, then for me to go ahead.
On a same note, would you be comfortable having your spouse have lunch "dates" with a member of the opposite sex that they work with?

Any thoughts on this?

 

[cccm]

Not a problem for either one. I am not sure how DH would feel, but since it would save $$ he would deal with it.

 

[Dr Pepsi]

Tough question. I didn't vote 'cuz I'm not sure.

I think that if the person was either a boss or a subordinate, I wouldn't mind. Otherwise, I think it would bother me. It's pretty common for affairs to start with a coworker because you spend 40+ hours a week with them. When you add another 15 hours a week in drive time...I just think it's best not to play with fire, ya know?

But as I said, if the person was a boss or subordinate, I think I'd be OK with it because once you're at the top, most bosses aren't going to risk their careers for a roll in the sack.

If this was a short commute, it probably wouldn't bother me, but 3 hours a day is a bit much to be regularly spending alone with a member of the opposite sex.

 

[LaraK]

Sorry, but I really don't understand why anyone would have issues with this.

 

[Mermaid02]

I said other because I don't like carpooling in general. What if there is some kind of emergency and you need to leave and you either don't have your car or your ride has an emergency and has to leave and you are stranded? I like having my car.

 

[Mady/Sophiemom]

Sure--why not.


My DH drives a female co-worker to the light rail everyday. A very cute young co-worker I might add. They also go to lunch at times, w/ other co-workers, and without.

I think when you "allow", or "not allow" a spouse to do anything, you are treading on thin ice. DH, doesn't make my decisions for me, and I don't for him.

That being said.---I tease him all the time, and make him think I'm jealous. Makes things more interesting.

 

[DMickey28]

I am not 100% sure about that. Since it's a boss that makes a difference to me a little. It would depend on the people. My DH would never want to do that so I don't really have to think about it.

As for the lunches, I do not think that two married people should have lunch dates with each other on a regular basis alone. There were two people at my old job that did that and many people found it odd.

ETA: I just asked my DH and he said No as well.

 

[Micca]

He's the boss & a neighbor. If two people in that sitch want to start something, I don't think the time in the car is going to make much difference. I think it's fine. It also makes sense from an economic standpoint.

 

[dmslush]

I wouldn't have a problem with it. I have been training a male coworker and spend many hours alone with him, and it has not phased DH because he knows that he can trust me.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

My husband takes flight attendants to work all the time. Never even crossed my mind to think twice about it.

I cannot wrap my mind around how this could be a problem. Hello women are everywhere!

 

[shellybelly72]

We don't think its a big deal. My dh and I have had to carpool at different times for meetings or when his car was in the shop..
I also have lunch dates often with my peers or my bosses who are all male-
Trust is a beautiful thing.....

 

[golfgal]

If he trusts you completly, why would he have a problem with this? So what if he doesn't trust your boss, what difference should it make. It isn't like you couldn't go out at lunch time at work and have a tryst if that is what he is thinking. Sorry, for and hour and a half commute I would be THRILLED if my DH had someone else in the car especially if something happened like a flat tire.

 

[momx2]

Not a problem. I have traveled with male co-workers and eat lunch with them all the time. My DH has never thought twice about it.

 

[SDFgirl]

Wouldn't bother me. I think it would bother me more if two people who lived on the same street drove 1.5 hours seperately to work. Talk about a waste of gas money! Also not very environmentally responsible...

 

[MAKmom]

Sorry, but I really don't understand why anyone would have issues with this.

You really can not see why anyone would be worried about this? You can't even come up with 1 reason any other human being would have any issues.

Sure--why not.


My DH drives a female co-worker to the light rail everyday. A very cute young co-worker I might add. They also go to lunch at times, w/ other co-workers, and without.

I think when you "allow", or "not allow" a spouse to do anything, you are treading on thin ice. DH, doesn't make my decisions for me, and I don't for him.

That being said.---I tease him all the time, and make him think I'm jealous. Makes things more interesting.

I agree with your thin ice comment.

I voted yes but I would not like it.

When I was in my twenty's my mother told me the way people fall in love is spending time together. Sometimes you are setting your self up for an affair you never mean to happen. Marriages have good & bad times. (She did not think going to lunch with married men was a good idea alone.)

She also thought it was a bad idea to just DATE someone who would make a horrible husband.( Even if he was really handsome & fun) If you fall in love it will be to late or painful.

Her theory which I have seen proved right was men usually do not leave unless they have a replacement.

Perfect people never do anything wrong or hurtful.

 

[familyS]

I don't have a problem with it. Carpooling to save money and energy is a wonderful thing.

I work in a predominantly male industry. Most of my friends are male. I can't see any problem with having lunches with members of the opposite sex, as in lunch with a friend/co-worker.

 

[gina2000]

Doesn't bother me. Long story short: My sister used to pick up a co-worker at his house every so often. She'd be waiting for him in her truck, putting on make-up, smoking a cigarette....typical single woman vamp vibes. All of the wife's friends called to "let the wife know" what was picking her husband up in the morning.

They all had a huge laugh over it.

 

[familyS]

Doesn't bother me. Long story short: My sister used to pick up a co-worker at his house every so often. She'd be waiting for him in her truck, putting on make-up, smoking a cigarette....typical single woman vamp vibes. All of the wife's friends called to "let the wife know" what was picking her husband up in the morning.

They all had a huge laugh over it.

Neighbors!

 

[trmcguire]

Sure--why not.


My DH drives a female co-worker to the light rail everyday. A very cute young co-worker I might add. They also go to lunch at times, w/ other co-workers, and without.

I think when you "allow", or "not allow" a spouse to do anything, you are treading on thin ice. DH, doesn't make my decisions for me, and I don't for him.

That being said.---I tease him all the time, and make him think I'm jealous. Makes things more interesting.

Just to clarify- Its not a matter of "allowing" me, I can do what I want. That being said, I would'n do something that makes him obviously uncomfortable- and he would do the same for me. He just wasn't sure if this is a normal thing to do. Seems like it is, so, great!

 

[slo]

I voted not a problem, because my DH does have a friend that's a woman.

They used to work together, and they would go out to lunch all the time.
They also went on a business trips together, where they had to drive a long way.

I really like this woman, and her, and her family come over every 4th of July, for our 4th of July party. I've never been jealous, because I know my DH is faithful to me.

My DH now has a new job, and doesn't work with her anymore. I feel bad for him, because he knows no one, and now goes out to lunch alone. I know he misses her, and I'm okay with that, because she's a good friend to him, and someone he can talk to about things, that I don't understand (work related talk), and I'm completely comfortable with that!!!