Would you be annoyed?

[Becc1]

Would it bother you if 2 people that have working pretty closely with your DH/DW for the past 2 weeks had no idea that they were married or had kids? My DH just had a major 10 week remodel of his restaurant and for the past 2 weeks has been in the process of training and reopening, there are some higher ups in the company who have been out here from CA helping with everything. DH has spent around 10-12 hours a day with these people and even went to dinner last week with them. Yesterday was a soft opening of the restaurant for friends and family and my children and I went. I had 2 people, the VP of the company and head trainer of the company come up to introduce themselves and both said they had no idea my DH was married let alone had 4 kids. I kinda laughed it off as no big deal, my Dh doesn't wear his wedding ring, he never has, hes not a jewelry wearing kinda guy, but I would have at least thought he would have mentioned us, at least once in the past 2 weeks. He's actually known these people for longer but not really worked with them. Am I just being silly? I think maybe he's just keeping his private life private but even the people thought it was weird that they didn't know about us. Should I let this bother me, last night I said something about it to my DH but he didn't really respond to me.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No, I would not in the situation you describe. Oh and both dh and I do not wear wedding rings.

 

[WDWisTheBest]

If I were you, I would just brush it away and not consider it relevant.

 

[disneychic2]

Would it bother you if 2 people that have working pretty closely with your DH/DW for the past 2 weeks had no idea that they were married or had kids? My DH just had a major 10 week remodel of his restaurant and for the past 2 weeks has been in the process of training and reopening, there are some higher ups in the company who have been out here from CA helping with everything. DH has spent around 10-12 hours a day with these people and even went to dinner last week with them. Yesterday was a soft opening of the restaurant for friends and family and my children and I went. I had 2 people, the VP of the company and head trainer of the company come up to introduce themselves and both said they had no idea my DH was married let alone had 4 kids. I kinda laughed it off as no big deal, my Dh doesn't wear his wedding ring, he never has, hes not a jewelry wearing kinda guy, but I would have at least thought he would have mentioned us, at least once in the past 2 weeks. He's actually known these people for longer but not really worked with them. Am I just being silly? I think maybe he's just keeping his private life private but even the people thought it was weird that they didn't know about us. Should I let this bother me, last night I said something about it to my DH but he didn't really respond to me.

That may be your answer right there! I think it is beyond strange that he didn't mention you or the kids. Doesn't make him a bad person, but I don't think you're wrong to be wondering! I would definitely ask him about it again. To answer your question, YES! it would bother me a great deal!

 

[msjprincess]

No it wouldn't bother me a bit.

 

[Hannathy]

No a lot of people do not talk about personal things at work. They either talk about work or general pleasantries. I worked with people like in the ER for years that I knew nothing about them personally.

If it was people he worked with during a 2 week, long day, high stress environment that a shut down of a business like you described is, then no, he had a lot of things on his mind and sorry but at work you weren't one of them.

 

[Rora]

It would bother me, honestly.

EDIT: it certainly doesn't mean that your DH is doing anything he shouldn't be doing and he could've just been super swamped with the work he needed to get done.. but it would make me upset to know he didn't talk about me and his kids. I should also add that I tend to get upset about these types of things easily.. just to put it in perspective.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

Another for it bugging me too.

In all my years of work, I've never NOT known if a person was married or not - never through direct questioning, but it generally comes up in conversation at least once or twice. Especially in the restaurant business.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Guys don't talk about that sort of thing too often so he's not wearing a ring then I'm not surprised. I think that's pretty much the reason why we have the tradition of wearing wedding rings in the first place, it's a way to non-verbally communicate that someone is not available.

 

[Jennasis]

It would bother me, but it's because DH is not the kind of person who wouldn't talk about me with his coworkers.

If keeping mum about personal stuff is normal for your DH then maybe that's just how he rolls. I'd be more concerned about his lack of communicating with you when asked directly about it.

Out of curiosity, are the people you mentioned (his coworkers who didn't know about you) were they men or women?

 

[Mama-san]

I think it would bother me, but considering it is a work situation, it's only been 2 weeks, and he doesn't wear a ring, so I would try to write it off. For me, I would be wondering if he had been conducting himself in a way the last couple of weeks that would make them think he was single.

 

[RunningGirl]

Wouldn't bother me. I know that when DH is at work he is in work mode; he's a task oriented person.

 

[merekc]

In addition to the arguments others have made, another thing no one else has mentioned is that he was working with some higer ups in the company. Sounds like people he doesn't typically work with on a day to day. That is typically when you are putting your best foot forward and not standing around chit chatting. It wouldn't bother me.

 

[Lintasare]

No it wouldn't bother me. Obviously to me when they were at work they were talking about work things and not their personal lives. Not everyone speaks of their personal life at work.

 

[Minnesota!]

wouldn't bother me. DH was friends with a few people for over a year before they finally found out about me! I remember meeting them for the first time and them being shocked! Not a big deal.

 

[Magpie]

It wouldn't bug me in the slightest.

Some men just aren't into the idle chit-chat thing. They can be very task-oriented, too. In the situation you describe my husband would talk about work related things at work - he wouldn't talk about us.

I don't expect him to be thinking about me at all when he's at work - I expect him to be thinking about work. He does call sometimes at lunch, but that's because I pack his lunches for him. So he sits down to eat, looks at the food and thinks, "Oh, yeah! I should call the wife and see how things are going at home."

On the days I don't pack him lunch, he doesn't call.

 

[Allison]

Yes, I think you are being silly. He has worked with these people for 2 weeks. I generally don't talk about my personal life in a workplace situation like that either. I certainly don't have a timeframe that by this time, these people should know this information about me. If it doesn't come up in conversation, then it just doesn't-no big deal.

 

[cabanafrau]

It wouldn't bug me in the slightest.

Some men just aren't into the idle chit-chat thing. They can be very task-oriented, too. In the situation you describe my husband would talk about work related things at work - he wouldn't talk about us.

I don't expect him to be thinking about me at all when he's at work - I expect him to be thinking about work. He does call sometimes at lunch, but that's because I pack his lunches for him. So he sits down to eat, looks at the food and thinks, "Oh, yeah! I should call the wife and see how things are going at home."

On the days I don't pack him lunch, he doesn't call.

Absolutely agree -- minus the lunch & the phone calls. DH rarely has time for lunch & it's even more rare he has time to call home. He's working, end of story.

 

[dislaney]

No it wouldn't bother me. Now if he was asked if he had a family and lied or something - that would bother me. He was probably just so busy that it didn't come up.

 

[MushyMushy]

I would be slightly taken aback by it. The thing that would bother me most is if he wouldn't respond when I asked about it. My husband definitely has a business personality and a personal personality, but I can't imagine his business personality not letting on in any way that he has a family. Oh, and he doesn't wear a ring either.