Would you be annoyed?

[Mickey's Minion]

what? the only time i'd EVER pay for a $15 glass of wine is if it was something like an anniversary or a birthday, i wouldn't just randomly go to a restaurant and order a $15 drink, that's insane!

I don't know about restaurants in your area, but even the skanky house wines around here run around $7 - $9 a glass.

I would rather pay the $15.00 for the glass to see if I liked it before I shelled out $40 - $50 for the bottle.

After the first glass, I switch to something cheaper

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

I don't know about restaurants in your area, but even the skanky house wines around here run around $7 - $9 a glass.

I would rather pay the $15.00 for the glass to see if I liked it before I shelled out $40 - $50 for the bottle.

After the first glass, I switch to something cheaper

i still don't understand spending $15 on one glass of wine, when you can buy a bottle for like $30-$40 anyway. i usually get the same wine/drink when i go out anyway.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

But he did pick up the tab for his own extras.

I always consider restaurants as a place to get something special, maybe that more expensive microbrew or that $15.00 glass of wine that I don't usually drink at home.

Just because he drinks Corona at home, maybe he felt like treating himself to something special that night for the occasion.

You are taking this way, way, WAY too personally.

I agree.

what? the only time i'd EVER pay for a $15 glass of wine is if it was something like an anniversary or a birthday, i wouldn't just randomly go to a restaurant and order a $15 drink, that's insane!

DH and don't eat out often, but when we do, it's a good enough reason to do something special.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

i still don't understand spending $15 on one glass of wine, when you can buy a bottle for like $30-$40 anyway. i usually get the same wine/drink when i go out anyway.

To each their own.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

When you are an invited guest at a party, you participate in what is offered and don't ASK FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT. That is just tacky! I am actually embarrassed FOR them! They need a dose of some good, Southern manners and etiquette!

The good Southern manners I have learned are that the guests should be welcomed and made to feel comfortable. This is also the rule of proper etiquette. You don't get angry at your guest for asking for something different than what is offered, for many reason.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

The good Southern manners I have learned are that the guests should be welcomed and made to feel comfortable. This is also the rule of proper etiquette. You don't get angry at your guest for asking for something different than what is offered, for many reason.

well what if you made dinner for a group of people, and one of them said "oh i don't like steak/lamb/whatever it is you made. can you make something else for me?"

i mean i know it's not even close to a drink, but i'm just curious. you wouldn't get the LEAST bit mad?? you'd actually go and make them something else?

the way i was raised was "you'll eat/drink what everyone else is having and that's that. no one is making anything 'special' for you."

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

OP here, sorry my power went out and just came back on.

I see that the majority says no problem order what you want as long as you pays for it. Thats fine. I guess its just that he does stuff like this all the time.
If we pick a restaurant him and my sister complain and pick on anything and everything, then tell you about another place that is 10 times better. All while we are paying the tab.


I guess they figured since they didn't bring a gift, they would pay for their own drinks.

I still think they should have left the private room and went up to the bar to order separate drinks though, not make a announcement that they wanted something different. They were the only guests that did this.

Someone asked why we didn't have a open bar? We have many people we know that get carried away with themselves and order expensive scotch and such (can you guess who?) and would never in a million years ever reciprocate (cheap), so in keeping costs down, we provided the guests with the specials of the evening. No one except for 2 had a problem with this.

I still don't get why it matters.

It seems you don't like them and they'll never do right.

IF that is the case, better to just let it slide for now. It is what I have to do with my dad and stepmom.

Only with age--I'm getting better at deciphering what is truly rude and where I am being nitpicky.

And if you are so bothered by their lack of reciprocation--I'd suggest you stop inviting them to invites.

IMHO--events should be about the desire to celebrate with those you love whatever the occasion. Keeping score about who pays you back is petty and rude and not the sign of being a good hostess.

If you didn't wish "outside options" entering your venue, it was your duty to notify the serving staff. Then if your relative wished to go and make a separate purchase-he would have done as you wished in this post.

Only, you'd still be posting about their rudeness. He can't win.

It's pretty much a "get over it" or stop inviting him type of deal.

I can't stop inviting my parents to things--so we just do our best and have a good laugh about it when they are gone. They have gotten better with age--but they still have some whoppers.

 

[danalee]

OP I get it...I have a "soon to be" BIL that would do the same thing, just to do it.

I could make the list out of things he drinks, even let him make the flippin list and he would order something different, just to be a pita~

You should have said to the waitress, "order me one of those to and just add it to his tab, he wont mind"

 

[disneystacy]

well what if you made dinner for a group of people, and one of them said "oh i don't like steak/lamb/whatever it is you made. can you make something else for me?"

i mean i know it's not even close to a drink, but i'm just curious. you wouldn't get the LEAST bit mad?? you'd actually go and make them something else?

the way i was raised was "you'll eat/drink what everyone else is having and that's that. no one is making anything 'special' for you."

That is how I was raised.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

That is how I was raised.

But at a restaurant with options--were you raised to control the menu choices of other people. It is an entirely different situation than a private home where you not only foot the bill, but are in charge of stocking your own kitchen.

It's two entirely different scenarios and you could have simply told the serving staff that your menu was it in the banquet room and if guests had an issue (which I'm guessing you knew would occur), that they could only order from that menu.

The item was available--it just wasn't what you selected, there was no added burden to you for the server to provide that item, neither in cost nor in effort.

 

[disneystacy]

OP I get it...I have a "soon to be" BIL that would do the same thing, just to do it.

I could make the list out of things he drinks, even let him make the flippin list and he would order something different, just to be a pita~

You should have said to the waitress, "order me one of those to and just add it to his tab, he wont mind"

Exactly, that is how he is.

Believe me, I wish I could exclude him, but he is married to my sister, who just follows his behavior. I really wish they would have just declined the invite.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

well what if you made dinner for a group of people, and one of them said "oh i don't like steak/lamb/whatever it is you made. can you make something else for me?"

i mean i know it's not even close to a drink, but i'm just curious. you wouldn't get the LEAST bit mad?? you'd actually go and make them something else?

the way i was raised was "you'll eat/drink what everyone else is having and that's that. no one is making anything 'special' for you."

That is not the same. He didn't expect her to go out of her way to make him something, he ordered his own drink at a restaurant. He didn't even expect her to pay for it. How did this inconvenience the OP in anyway like making a separate meal would?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

well what if you made dinner for a group of people, and one of them said "oh i don't like steak/lamb/whatever it is you made. can you make something else for me?"

i mean i know it's not even close to a drink, but i'm just curious. you wouldn't get the LEAST bit mad?? you'd actually go and make them something else?

the way i was raised was "you'll eat/drink what everyone else is having and that's that. no one is making anything 'special' for you."

The OP expereinced no additional cost nor labor for what occurred.

This was not her home. There is a big difference. She didn't have to do anything special at all. She is only put out b/c she chooses to be.

 

[C.Ann]

I don't get why you are upset? He didn't make a big scene about it, right? He just had a preference for another kind of beer?

Seriously, I think you are way over-reacting. It's no skin off my nose if people have different tastes. I think you are letting your obvious dislike of the man temper your feelings on this. If it were anyone else in the group...someone that you DID like...would you really care?

I agree.. If I were a drinker - which I'm not - and didn't care for what was being served and had the option of choosing something else on "my dime", I wouldn't give it a second thought.. I would be extremely surprised if the host/hostess seemed offended by my paying for the beverage of my choice..

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

But at a restaurant with options--were you raised to control the menu choices of other people. It is an entirely different situation than a private home where you not only foot the bill, but are in charge of stocking your own kitchen.

It's two entirely different scenarios and you could have simply told the serving staff that your menu was it in the banquet room and if guests had an issue (which I'm guessing you knew would occur), that they could only order from that menu.

The item was available--it just wasn't what you selected, there was no added burden to you for the server to provide that item, neither in cost nor in effort.

DH's family does this "pre-Christmas" dinner every year sometime in late November/early December and at any restaurant we go to, there's basically a menu of 5 or 6 different things you can order since it's kind of like a "deal" with how many people are in our party(which is usually around 30-40 people).

so if someone said "no, i don't want any of that, bring me the REAL menu and i'll order off of that." i'd think it was a bit rude, too. like i said, the way i was raised is "you'll eat what everyone else is eating." and if you have 5 different options, i'm SURE you could find SOMETHING that you'd like.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

That is not the same. He didn't expect her to go out of her way to make him something, he ordered his own drink at a restaurant. He didn't even expect her to pay for it. How did this inconvenience the OP in anyway like making a separate meal would?

The OP expereinced no additional cost nor labor for what occurred.

This was not her home. There is a big difference. She didn't have to do anything special at all. She is only put out b/c she chooses to be.

i OBVIOUSLY said it wasn't the same right in that entry. i was asking if she would get angry if that other situation DID happen because she said that you basically go out of your way for "guests" and you never get "Angry" with them. i was just curious as to what her response would be.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

DH's family does this "pre-Christmas" dinner every year sometime in late November/early December and at any restaurant we go to, there's basically a menu of 5 or 6 different things you can order since it's kind of like a "deal" with how many people are in our party(which is usually around 30-40 people).

so if someone said "no, i don't want any of that, bring me the REAL menu and i'll order off of that." i'd think it was a bit rude, too. like i said, the way i was raised is "you'll eat what everyone else is eating." and if you have 5 different options, i'm SURE you could find SOMETHING that you'd like.

But he didn't do that...he ordered a separate drink.

No different if I am at an event that serves only tea and coffee--but soda is available for purchase. It isn't insulting to order a separate beverage in an establishment where a separate beverage is easily available.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

like i said, the way i was raised is "you'll eat what everyone else is eating." and if you have 5 different options, i'm SURE you could find SOMETHING that you'd like.

And I was raised not to force people to eat something they don't like. Especially while at a restaurant where other options are readily available.

If you are not paying for it, why in the world would it bother you? It goes back to the whole "pick your battle" concept. I see no reason expending any energy over something that has no effect on me.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

i OBVIOUSLY said it wasn't the same right in that entry. i was asking if she would get angry if that other situation DID happen because she said that you basically go out of your way for "guests" and you never get "Angry" with them. i was just curious as to what her response would be.

How someone behaves in my home versus a public place with an available menu are two entirely different scenarios.

In any case--"anger" would never be the correct response in any scenario quite frankly.

Anyone who was raised that getting "Angry" is the appropriate emotional response to rudeness--has issues.

 

[Had2stopLurking]

nope. Wouldn't be offended at all. Why would someone think they had the right to choose someone's drinks in a BAR?

And to be offended because they didn't bring a gift? Wasn't this a 40th bday party? I'd be more offended if people brought gifts honestly. When the big four o comes, I would just be happy that my good friends and family are there to celebrate with me. I'm not 8. I don't need gifts to justify how much people love/like me. If I had certain offerings at an engagement and didn't care for them, I, like the BIL, would take it upon myself to order and pay for them.

I just don't get what there is to be upset about?