Would you allow your high school aged DD/DS to do this?

[golfgal]

I votrd no which kind of surpises me as i am one of the more permisive parents on this board. I have a son the same age and just finished jr year as well. I would not be comfortable with him going off with a girl for the weekend, not to mention I am not sure they could even get a hotel room at that age? My son wants to take a road trip up to northern california which is ok but I don't think he can get a hotel.

I have two girls as well and am SUPER open minded about birth control. My oldest dd ssid she wanted to go on yaz, I am not even going to state her age LOL, but I said that was fine with me but explained to her about the obgyn exam and she changed her mind. She and her sister both know that when it comes that time for them that it is more then ok for them to go on BC. My oldest daughter just really hates Drs and even getting her in when she is real sick is hard to do so I do worry about that. The most I can do is keep open conversations going.

There are some pretty nasty reports about side effects from Yaz as well as some class action lawsuits, just an FYI.

 

[TinklednPants]

DS18 is not allowed to be alone with his girlfriend and they have honored that rule for the past 3 years.

mmmm okay He's 18 and he's had a girlfriend for 3 years and never been alone with her?

 

[luvmy3]

I voted maybe because for me it would depend on many things like how responsible my dd is at the time. Also, if I know the boyfriend well because they have been dating for a long time and my dd has never given me reason to suspect that she's a wild child then I wouldn't have a problem with it. If I would let her go with a couple girlfriends then I have no reason to not let her go with a boyfriend.

 

[AristocatFan]

mmmm okay He's 18 and he's had a girlfriend for 3 years and never been alone with her?

He does not go to her house if her parents aren't going to be there and they are only here when we are home. When they go out to eat/movies/events they go with friends or he takes his younger siblings.

 

[MerMom60_94]

I voted maybe because for me it would depend on many things like how responsible my dd is at the time. Also, if I know the boyfriend well because they have been dating for a long time and my dd has never given me reason to suspect that she's a wild child then I wouldn't have a problem with it. If I would let her go with a couple girlfriends then I have no reason to not let her go with a boyfriend.

I was just logging back in to ask this very question. I notice all the no answers come down to sex. To me there are other issues / concerns of things that could happen. So, I was wondering if those of us who are saying no are saying no for that reason alone and if they would say yes if their daughter or son wanted to go away for a weekend with a same gender friend or friends. I still, at this point, couldn't say what I would do because we aren't there yet. My concerns go beyond sex and involve other mischief she could get into. Don't get me wrong. My DD is a good kid and hasn't done anything to get into trouble but she is a kid none the less. I just can't tell you who she will be at 17 and what ground will have been covered by then and that would make a difference on going away unchaperoned with either gender.

 

[Toad_Passenger]

I voted maybe because for me it would depend on many things like how responsible my dd is at the time. Also, if I know the boyfriend well because they have been dating for a long time and my dd has never given me reason to suspect that she's a wild child then I wouldn't have a problem with it. If I would let her go with a couple girlfriends then I have no reason to not let her go with a boyfriend.

I was just thinking the same thing. I wonder how often some parents let their kids go places alone with members of the same gender. There are still a lot of kids out there who are gay, but have never told their parents. If sex is the only issue at hand, then it is completely in the realm of possibility that 2 girls or 2 boys alone may still be intimate. Do we just not let our kids go anywhere alone?

 

[luvmy3]

I was just logging back in to ask this very question. I notice all the no answers come down to sex. To me there are other issues / concerns of things that could happen. So, I was wondering if those of us who are saying no are saying no for that reason alone and if they would say yes if their daughter or son wanted to go away for a weekend with a same gender friend or friends. I still, at this point, couldn't say what I would do because we aren't there yet. My concerns go beyond sex and involve other mischief she could get into. Don't get me wrong. My DD is a good kid and hasn't done anything to get into trouble but she is a kid none the less. I just can't tell you who she will be at 17 and what ground will have been covered by then and that would make a difference on going away unchaperoned with either gender.

This sums up exactly how I feel too.

He does not go to her house if her parents aren't going to be there and they are only here when we are home. When they go out to eat/movies/events they go with friends or he takes his younger siblings.

He is 18 and has never been on a date alone with his girlfriend?

 

[golfgal]

I was just logging back in to ask this very question. I notice all the no answers come down to sex. To me there are other issues / concerns of things that could happen. So, I was wondering if those of us who are saying no are saying no for that reason alone and if they would say yes if their daughter or son wanted to go away for a weekend with a same gender friend or friends. I still, at this point, couldn't say what I would do because we aren't there yet. My concerns go beyond sex and involve other mischief she could get into. Don't get me wrong. My DD is a good kid and hasn't done anything to get into trouble but she is a kid none the less. I just can't tell you who she will be at 17 and what ground will have been covered by then and that would make a difference on going away unchaperoned with either gender.

I would let my kids go away for a weekend at that age with kids of the same gender. I realize that a lot can also happen then but if your child is trustworthy much WON'T happen.

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

I voted no. I have a hard time with just the two of them going off alone together. Not because of the "sex" issue, cause heck if they are going to they will find a way. I just have a problem with the age and it's just 2 of them going. There are so many things that could happen. I guess I would feel better if they were part of a larger group or going somewhere that there would be other people that they know.

Course I'm thinking about how my totally straight-laced parents let me and one of my friends drive 8 hours to Vancover Canada for a couple of days alone What were they thinking! Actually we had fun, didn't get arrested and did make it back in one piece... Maybe it's not such a big deal after all...

 

[palmtreegirl]

There's just no chance whatsoever that we would allow that and I can't even imagine our DD asking. My answer is not just based on our own principles/morals they're our kids as well, they've each chosen to accept Jesus Christ as their Savior. Oh and for the record they couldn't go away with same sex friends either at that age.

Disclaimer-This is just my opinion and I'm not going to debate it.

 

[Momvic5]

While my high school student is still seeking and needing my approval, I would say no to this particular situation. What I did as a teen or whether or not they are having sex has no influence on how I feel about this situation. It is more about helping my high school student make wise choices and guiding them towards situations that lead to the best possible outcomes. For me, it is about setting my high school student up to succeed while I can, and I can't help but see this particular situation as anything but a huge red flag for possible trouble.

 

[AristocatFan]

He is 18 and has never been on a date alone with his girlfriend?

Is there a problem with that? Don't fault us for our family values. When she turns 18, then maybe, if they are still together. He's leaving for college soon.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I voted maybe because for me it would depend on many things like how responsible my dd is at the time. Also, if I know the boyfriend well because they have been dating for a long time and my dd has never given me reason to suspect that she's a wild child then I wouldn't have a problem with it. If I would let her go with a couple girlfriends then I have no reason to not let her go with a boyfriend.

Sums up my feelings nicely.

I would let my kids go away for a weekend at that age with kids of the same gender. I realize that a lot can also happen then but if your child is trustworthy much WON'T happen.

See that is how I feel--except I apply the same standard to a boy being along.

 

[luvmy3]

Is there a problem with that? Don't fault us for our family values. When she turns 18, then maybe, if they are still together. He's leaving for college soon.

Did I say there was a problem with that? I asked a question However i will say this, and this is just my opinion, if an 18 year old has been dating a girl for 3 years there is a very high probability that they have spent some time alone whether or not their parents know about it.
On a personal note, I would never not allow my 18 year old to not be alone with their boy/girlfriend because to me that means that I don't trust them or trust how I raised them and thats not the type of relationship I will have with my kids. YMMV.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I vote no.
Take sex out of the equation. For me I think that vacationing with a significant other is something adults do. Not high school kids. I also think that to be an adult it doesn't magically happen at 18. When I am no longer paying your way then you can do as you please. Until then no. Yes, they can go away to college and do as they please but while in my home the answer would be no.
I think vacationing together is much more than sex. It makes you too familiar with each other. I wouldn't let them live together so I wouldn't let them spend the night somewhere together either. I am sure I am not explaining it correctly but that is how I feel.
Oh- and for those that don't think a girl would get a reputation from something like this you are kidding yourself. You will also be looked at as a promiscuious parent. Not trying to be mean but that is the truth.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

See--I guess I would not think of it as a "together forever" kind of thing. I never thought of it that way when I spent a week on a houseboat with one of my high school boyfriends and his family. It was just a vacation--not an engagement.

Can you come over here and tell that to my 19yodd?

 

[NHdisneylover]

Can you come over here and tell that to my 19yodd?

I could try. I am "together forever" with the guy I started dating at 19 though (in college but we knew each otehrs in high school) so I am not sure how well that would work for ya!

 

[MoniqueU]

Totally OT, but DD's pediatrician just put her on BC and said she did not necessarily need an OB exam. I suppose at her age I'll have to take her soon anyway, but the BC does not require an exam, I don't think.

Good to know, maybe I will call down to our peds office? If there is no exam and it reduces the amount of them you have, I am all for it. My DD researched yaz and discussed it with me. No problems here. I do think her dad would kill me though.

 

[beattyfamily]

Wish there was a "Hell, No!" option.

 

[disneybound2010]

I would let my kids go away for a weekend at that age with kids of the same gender. I realize that a lot can also happen then but if your child is trustworthy much WON'T happen.

Ok, so a group of the same gender go away for the weekend and while away they meet a group of the opposite sex. Anything can happen. You state that if your child is trustworthy much WON't happen. If they are trustworthy then they should be trusted to go away with the opposite sex. You either trust them or you don't.