Would ya'll mind giving a quick thought to Christian?

[Disneyadore]

In the long run you are doing the best thing you could do for Christian.

As a child I grew up with the child of my parent friends. He was in the same position as your son. The parents took care of him until he was around eighteen. That they decided to slowly and step by step getting him used to living in group home.
He loved it and after a while he was "looking at the clock" to see if it was time to leave. He became great with the horses and you could find him all over the place on this three wheel bicycle.

His parents have passed away many years ago and thanked god he is a safe place. I know it is very hard but think of Christian and his future needs.
Sending you hugs.

 

[minkydog]

You know I have been sitting here feeling sorry for myself because we really need to sell our house and no one is buying. After reading your posts I feel so foolish. So many others need so much more than I do. I've been asking God for help but today I am asking him to send the help YOUR way. You need it more than I do. I'm so very sorry you are dealing with this. It's so hard to be hoping for something that will also break your heart in a way. All of us on the DIS are so proud of you to be forward thinking and planning for the future. You have a cheering squad all over the world!

You are so right! And I am grateful to every one of you who are lifting us up in their thoughts and prayers. I know that God has us in the palm of his hand and he will work this out for the best for all of us. Although Christian cannot talk or read, he knows God loves him. I often hear Christian humming things like "God is So Good" and "Jesus Loves Me" and even "Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee."

Update: No news from DHR yet,but they did call to find out how much $$ Christian gets from SSDI.Not sure what that means... I made an appt to meet with the director of the Transition Home tomorrow at 11am. We can go check them out and they can get to know Christian, too. If all goes well, we will plan a respite weekend. I also asked her if they might be able to take him for a week in September, to allow me to go visit my sister in Washington and the director agreed, no problem. It feels like,slowly, the weight of the world is melting off my shoulders.

 

[Tuffcookie]

minkydog,



I'm glad you have a strong faith. That will help see you thru this.

You and your dear family are in my prayers!

TC

 

[OKWMom]

I pray that things go well for your precious son and for the rest of your family and that the transition gives you a much needed break. I have a low functioning, non-verbal autistic daughter who is 12 and I share many of your fears for her future. So I also know how torn you must be during all of this - relieved to be getting some assistance and yet devastated to know the child you have nurtured and protected for all of these years will be leaving your home. I know the anxieties "will these people be good to my child", especially since the child can't tell you otherwise; "is he going to adjust well"; "will they know what he wants when he can't tell them"; etc., etc.

But as others have said, you are making the right decision. It is far better for him to have the time to adjust while you are still alive and able to advocate for him. As I said, I'll pray for all of you, but as one mother to another, I'll be saying a special prayer just for you.

 

[minkydog]

I pray that things go well for your precious son and for the rest of your family and that the transition gives you a much needed break. I have a low functioning, non-verbal autistic daughter who is 12 and I share many of your fears for her future. So I also know how torn you must be during all of this - relieved to be getting some assistance and yet devastated to know the child you have nurtured and protected for all of these years will be leaving your home. I know the anxieties "will these people be good to my child", especially since the child can't tell you otherwise; "is he going to adjust well"; "will they know what he wants when he can't tell them"; etc., etc.

But as others have said, you are making the right decision. It is far better for him to have the time to adjust while you are still alive and able to advocate for him. As I said, I'll pray for all of you, but as one mother to another, I'll be saying a special prayer just for you.

Thank you for that. I know you are walking in our shoes every day. I think this process started a long time ago. Way before "group home" was a term in our vocabulary, we got involved with a division of ARC which provides occasional respite to families like ours. When he first started going, at age 7, it was sooooo difficult for me. Christian was still very baby-like at that age and I was so scared that something bad would happen. When he was gone I had to shut his bedroom door, or I'd just burst out crying every time I passed his room. Over the years, though, we have gotten more familiar with the caregivers and a lot of them have been working with him for the entire time, 8 years. Now when we drop him off, there are caregivers there who remember what kind of pizza he likes, which "baby" he needs to sleep with, and which video he loves (Fantasia.) NOW I can leave him with these folks and feel confident that they really do care for him. That's the kind of relationship that I hope we will find in the permanent group home. A real home, with "brothers" and pizza and trips to the park and a warm bed to sleep in and someone who will notice if he's having a down day or stubs his toe. Pie in the sky? I don't think so. There has to be the perfect right place for Christian out there.

 

[Lionqueen2]

Sending prayers and good wishes for your family.

 

[OKWMom]

Thank you for that. I know you are walking in our shoes every day. I think this process started a long time ago. Way before "group home" was a term in our vocabulary, we got involved with a division of ARC which provides occasional respite to families like ours. When he first started going, at age 7, it was sooooo difficult for me. Christian was still very baby-like at that age and I was so scared that something bad would happen. When he was gone I had to shut his bedroom door, or I'd just burst out crying every time I passed his room. Over the years, though, we have gotten more familiar with the caregivers and a lot of them have been working with him for the entire time, 8 years. Now when we drop him off, there are caregivers there who remember what kind of pizza he likes, which "baby" he needs to sleep with, and which video he loves (Fantasia.) NOW I can leave him with these folks and feel confident that they really do care for him. That's the kind of relationship that I hope we will find in the permanent group home. A real home, with "brothers" and pizza and trips to the park and a warm bed to sleep in and someone who will notice if he's having a down day or stubs his toe. Pie in the sky? I don't think so. There has to be the perfect right place for Christian out there.

I think such a place must exist for Christian too. And that is my prayer for him and for you. Stay strong.

 

[diz8297]

You are so right! And I am grateful to every one of you who are lifting us up in their thoughts and prayers. I know that God has us in the palm of his hand and he will work this out for the best for all of us. Although Christian cannot talk or read, he knows God loves him. I often hear Christian humming things like "God is So Good" and "Jesus Loves Me" and even "Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee."

Update: No news from DHR yet,but they did call to find out how much $$ Christian gets from SSDI.Not sure what that means... I made an appt to meet with the director of the Transition Home tomorrow at 11am. We can go check them out and they can get to know Christian, too. If all goes well, we will plan a respite weekend. I also asked her if they might be able to take him for a week in September, to allow me to go visit my sister in Washington and the director agreed, no problem. It feels like,slowly, the weight of the world is melting off my shoulders.

Oh I so hope that things are finally moving along for you. Thank you for posting the picture of your family too. Your children are beautiful and you have amazed me over the years with your posts. You help us all to keep perspective. I pray that you get the resolution that you need. God bless you all. And yes, I love that mischevous twinkle in Christian's eyes!!