Would this bother you?

[dogluva]

My MIL (Dh's parents are divorced) sent nothing this year for the kids. I put the time and effort into making her a photo calendar and my Dh sent her shirts from Iraq (where he is deployed to for the year). I wrapped them all and sent them out over 2 weeks ago.

Didn't hear a word - so I e-mailed them late last night to ask them (she is remarried) if they got their gifts and to wish them a Merry Christmas. I was thinking - maybe they would say where is our package to the kids, did it get lost?

Nope - I get a response back:

"Package was received and the presents are opened. We actually let the holiday sneak up on us with our Work schedules and well honestly we are getting old. XXX will have something in the mail shortly and we will Call it a New Years present."

Not even a thank you for all the calendar. These are MILs ONLY grandkids as Dh is her only child. I work and have been a single mom for the past nearly 7 months while DH is deployed. And yet I still made the time... I don't buy it - she always has excuses.

I know I need to let it go - but am I right in feeling bothered by this? It is absolutely not the gift - heck a card just recognizing the kids while their dad is away. Took her 6 months to even send a card to her son in Iraq (and it costs the same as a first class US stamp!).

There is some history here... I have let DH deal with it through the years. She is very self centered, but this really took the cake for me. But I will never take the time to make another calendar for them again - Dh can do whatever he wants next year.

My MIL is the exact same way-I could have posted this. She does not care about her grandkids and that is that. I don't let it bother me anymore. Her loss. You can't make a person care. I have learned the hard way. It only breads resentment.

 

[sk8jdgca]

Well my kids were not invited to the family Christmas party ( their Father's side (we are not together)). Ahead of time, their grandmother told me what weekend it would be on- I told her the Kids were in town and could come-yet they we never invited-not told what date, what time or where it woud be held. Their grandmom called the next day and said-" oh you missed the Christmas party" Then she never even acknowledged my daughter's birthday (my son's she never forgets-but my daughter-not even a call)

 

[Bluestars]

It would bother me that she didn't acknowledge the gifts you sent to her. I think that's rude, but some of my relatives do it all the time. It would not bother me if my relatives didn't send gifts to my family.

If I want to send gifts to people, I do. If I don't, then I don't send them. If they want to send our family something, great. If not, then that's not a big deal either. I don't send a gift and expect to get a gift back though. I send it because I want to do it.

People should always acknowledge receipt of gifts though. It is very rude to get something and not say thank you or at least let the person know you have received it.