Would this bother you- Facebook related Update post 69

[AnnR]

I would tell him that he needs to report the fraudulant account to Facebook IF he agrees to it, sit down with him while he does it. This way on the miniscule chance he is telling the truth, it looks like you believe him. Tell him to get the email address and see what it is. If he won't do this......

 

[MICKEY88]

She wouldn't be going under some strangers email, its her husbands. I go under my husbands email account all the time, and he does mine. No, were not snooping on eachother, but its the same difference.

if you do it with each others permission that is one thing, to go log into his email and pretend to be him and ask for the password is not legal

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

She wouldn't be going under some strangers email, its her husbands. I go under my husbands email account all the time, and he does mine. No, were not snooping on eachother, but its the same difference.

It's still entering an account that she doesn't own.

It's also an invasion of privacy.

Sneaking around won't fix the problem and in the miniscule fraction of a percent that this ends up being innocent--it can bite the OP in the behind.

While it does seem that there is something very inappropriate going on--is it worth losing the marriage by going about this the wrong way in the very off chance that it is not?

The adult thing to do is to speak to DH about an issue--if snooping has to be used, that really speaks to the person doing the snooping and not who they are spying on. It is VERY risky.

Yes how the husband reacted is very suspect, but is it really enough evidence to go behind his back? I'm not so sure.

 

[PixieDust32]

 

[teacups]

It's still entering an account that she doesn't own.

It's also an invasion of privacy.

Sneaking around won't fix the problem and in the miniscule fraction of a percent that this ends up being innocent--it can bite the OP in the behind.

While it does seem that there is something very inappropriate going on--is it worth losing the marriage by going about this the wrong way in the very off chance that it is not?

The adult thing to do is to speak to DH about an issue--if snooping has to be used, that really speaks to the person doing the snooping and not who they are spying on. It is VERY risky.

Yes how the husband reacted is very suspect, but is it really enough evidence to go behind his back? I'm not so sure.

While everything you say makes some sense.. I'd still do it in a heartbeat. Oh, and you might try this chicks name as the password, too.

 

[OceanAnnie]

It's still entering an account that she doesn't own.

It's also an invasion of privacy.

Sneaking around won't fix the problem and in the miniscule fraction of a percent that this ends up being innocent--it can bite the OP in the behind.

While it does seem that there is something very inappropriate going on--is it worth losing the marriage by going about this the wrong way in the very off chance that it is not?

The adult thing to do is to speak to DH about an issue--if snooping has to be used, that really speaks to the person doing the snooping and not who they are spying on. It is VERY risky.

Yes how the husband reacted is very suspect, but is it really enough evidence to go behind his back? I'm not so sure.

I would be gathering information. I don't know how, but I would want to know. Something is very amiss. If my DH went behind my back with that kind of thing, I wouldn't want to be the last to know. His behavior seems to be very risky to me. Not the sort of thing a marriage partner would want to own up to. I wouldn't be worried about going behind his back, I'd be worried about my back.

 

[MICKEY88]

While everything you say makes some sense.. I'd still do it in a heartbeat. Oh, and you might try this chicks name as the password, too.

wow, so innocent or guilty, you would commit a crime to find out,, so if he's guilty and a divorce should ensue, he can bring criminal charges

 

[teacups]

wow, so innocent or guilty, you would commit a crime to find out,, so if he's guilty and a divorce should ensue, he can bring criminal charges

Yep.

 

[mumom95]

I have no idea if this is a possibility or not, but here is a possible scenerio:

The Michael isn't your husband, but the old girlfriend went looking up your husband and tried to friend everyone with the name Michael B or Mike B (I don't remember the fake last name you are using), and this Michael accepted her as a friend.

The reason I say this: I was looking for my best friend from high school who I haven't seen since the mid 90's. I know she got married, but don't know her last name. But thought, maybe I could find her brother. So I did a search for his name and a bunch came up. One of the pictures looked like it could be him (the last time I saw him he would have been around 16) but I wasn't sure. So I thought I would try to friend the guy and if he accepts me, that probably means it was him (because why would a total stranger accept a friend request). Anyway, the guy did friend me, but it wasn't my best friends brother (so I defriended him). It struck me as odd that he would accept a friend request from someone he didn't know, but apparently some people do it.

So, there is a slight chance that the girlfriend sent the friend request, thinking it was your husband, and the person accepted it, even though that person doesn't know the girl. And if this is true, then your husband wouldn't have a clue about any of this.

Probably isn't true, but it's a thought

 

[wdhinn89]

I have no idea if this is a possibility or not, but here is a possible scenerio:

The Michael isn't your husband, but the old girlfriend went looking up your husband and tried to friend everyone with the name Michael B or Mike B (I don't remember the fake last name you are using), and this Michael accepted her as a friend.

The reason I say this: I was looking for my best friend from high school who I haven't seen since the mid 90's. I know she got married, but don't know her last name. But thought, maybe I could find her brother. So I did a search for his name and a bunch came up. One of the pictures looked like it could be him (the last time I saw him he would have been around 16) but I wasn't sure. So I thought I would try to friend the guy and if he accepts me, that probably means it was him (because why would a total stranger accept a friend request). Anyway, the guy did friend me, but it wasn't my best friends brother (so I defriended him). It struck me as odd that he would accept a friend request from someone he didn't know, but apparently some people do it.

So, there is a slight chance that the girlfriend sent the friend request, thinking it was your husband, and the person accepted it, even though that person doesn't know the girl. And if this is true, then your husband wouldn't have a clue about any of this.

Probably isn't true, but it's a thought

This is a perfect example of how nothing can become something so quickly in some people's eyes. This guy has already been tried and convicted by a jury of people who know nothing about him.

You know your husband. No one else here does. Listen to your gut.

 

[Tantor]

no suggestions just waiting to hear..........

 

[DisneyDayTripper]

I'm saying a prayer for you today OP...I know whatever you decide to do it won't be easy.

 

[Darsa]

I'm with Teacups in this one; I'd do everything I could to try to determine what's going on, considering it's involving someone who's VERY close to me in all ways... I wouldn't want someone near me who's been "double-dipping", as it were, and if he's innocent HECK, he should be HELPING her find out what's going on.

That's kind of always the way I think of it; if a person is innocent then they shouldn't have any concerns about others trying to make sure for themselves. If they have nothing to hide, what's the big deal?

 

[2binak]

So, there is a slight chance that the girlfriend sent the friend request, thinking it was your husband, and the person accepted it, even though that person doesn't know the girl. And if this is true, then your husband wouldn't have a clue about any of this.

Probably isn't true, but it's a thought

Your theory is definitely plausible. I know people who accept friend requests from people they don't know since they use FB as a dating site. However, the strange part of the OP's story is that the Michael account has only one friend and that friend is the ex.

 

[sbell111]

So now what sbell? He says that someone else made this up. Are you buying it? What does she do now?

I think he is full of it personally.

I don't know why you are specifically asking me what the OP should do, but I would continue the conversation when her husband returns from his trip, just like the OP said she would.

 

[DisneyDawnNH]

If you know the Michael account was created after the Mike account do you know if the dates correspond with the initial facebook friend request? Just maybe if you can tell the dates it would be easier to see if your hubby is being truthful.

It is also very easy to create a google email address for just this type of purpose. If you have dates you can look at other activity in your history to see what other sites your husband may have accessed to create another FB Account because he would need another email address to do this.

I set up my husbands facebook account and I only had my work email so I used it for him - so now all his freind requests come to me at work.... didn't intend for it to happen this way but within 3 days he received 2 request from strange women - when I looked to see who they were they were young (21ish) and naked. It was an eye opener to what FB can lead too.... I of course reported these accounts to FB and they were closed. When it happend I could see the accounts were new but now I can't find dates when accounts were created

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

Did the OP go MIA???

 

[Liberty Belle]

wow, so innocent or guilty, you would commit a crime to find out,, so if he's guilty and a divorce should ensue, he can bring criminal charges

If he had just a shred of decency left, I think he'd just let it go. After all, he was the one who breached the marriage agreement.

 

[RadioNate]

It's still entering an account that she doesn't own.

It's also an invasion of privacy.

Sneaking around won't fix the problem and in the miniscule fraction of a percent that this ends up being innocent--it can bite the OP in the behind.

While it does seem that there is something very inappropriate going on--is it worth losing the marriage by going about this the wrong way in the very off chance that it is not?

The adult thing to do is to speak to DH about an issue--if snooping has to be used, that really speaks to the person doing the snooping and not who they are spying on. It is VERY risky.

Yes how the husband reacted is very suspect, but is it really enough evidence to go behind his back? I'm not so sure.

If snooping into an innocent FB account costs you your marriage then it isn't a strong marriage to begin with.

I'm sorry but HE is lying and doing something wrong. He is NOT being truthful with the OP. His actions may very well destroy their marriage.

Has he deleted the Michael account yet?

This is not a spouse acting in a truthful manner and there for the OP needs to find the truth herself.

This is a perfect example of how nothing can become something so quickly in some people's eyes. This guy has already been tried and convicted by a jury of people who know nothing about him.

You know your husband. No one else here does. Listen to your gut.

If I looks like a duck and quacks like a duck....I'm thinking duck.

I won't go so far to say that the OP's husband is cheating on her but I do think he is hiding his contact with the ex (innocent or not) and that isn't cool!

 

[TiggerTails57]