Would this bother you- Facebook related Update post 69

[luvestodizz]

Note- All names have been changed.
Let's say your DH's name is Michael Bakagan. He is called Mike so on Facebook everyone is friends with him under Mike Bakagan. This includes you.You're searching FB one day and somehow discover that Michael Bakagan has a FB page too. His only friend though is an old girlfriend- from years ago. You also know that Michael's FB was created after the original Mike FB. Do you become suspicious or what would you think....

 

[WDWBarb]

Wow ... I typically believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt but ... um.... this one just stinks.

 

[claudia]

I would think that I would ask him about it.

 

[RunningGirl]

I think I would send a friend request to "Michael" to see what happened...

 

[Ohiodislover]

I was prepared to say that this is how stupid facebook arguments start...but Um -I would wonder also.

 

[threeboysmom]

I would be suspicious.

You have two choices:

1) JTake the open approach - just be honest and upfront and ask him about it.

2) Take the sly approach - create a false facebook page and send a request to both to see if you can get on one or both of their pages in order to read what's being said....

Does she only have your DH on her friend's list?

 

[dakcp2001]

I am sorry that is totally sketchy! Are they "private"? Or can you view their walls and see what kind of comments are going on? I honestly do not think I would confront him about it until I did some serious snooping around to see if there is anything else array. If you confront him, he will have a chance to hide anything else.

I think I would prob get an itemized cell phone bill and check calls & texts etc. And check email. If the facebook is a secret, what else is going on? I hope you find out that it is nothing! I really do! But if this was kept a secret & there is only 1 friend, and it is an ex, it doesnt look good from my prespective.

When you do confront him, make him show you immediatey what is on it, do not give him a chance to edit or delete anything. If it is innocent, then he should be able to prove it.

 

[sbell111]

I would think that I would ask him about it.

yup

 

[dismom2]

I would be upset, and I would ask him about it. First, I might do a little investigating, like another pp suggested. Check cell phone records, etc.. a DH that created another account just to talk to an old flame would raise some major flags. If she was on his regular FB account, that wouldn't seem so sneaky. Sorry you have to deal with this....at least you found out.

 

[DisneyBlonde]

absolutely. and call me quick to judge but I can't think of a single explanation that would make that ok with me.

 

[etoiles]

When you do confront him, make him show you immediatey what is on it, do not give him a chance to edit or delete anything. If it is innocent, then he should be able to prove it.

I agree.

 

[CJ's Mommy]

I think you already are suspicious that something is up and that's why you were searching facebook for another profile for DH. Am I right?

If you really have a gut feeling that something is not right, then SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT.

IMO, keep it to yourself, do some more digging and if nothing else turns up then this was just a serious error in judgment on DH's part. If something else does turn up, then you will have all the evidence you need to confront him on it.

Good luck, this is not an easy position to be in.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

I would think someone created a fake page.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Note- All names have been changed.
Let's say your DH's name is Michael Bakagan. He is called Mike so on Facebook everyone is friends with him under Mike Bakagan. This includes you.You're searching FB one day and somehow discover that Michael Bakagan has a FB page too. His only friend though is an old girlfriend- from years ago. You also know that Michael's FB was created after the original Mike FB. Do you become suspicious or what would you think....

It would bother me. Special FB. Only friend is ex-GF. Doesn't look good. I'd talk to him about it. You have some great suggestions.

When you do talk to him, ask open ended questions and wait for a response. Don't tell him what you think at all. Let him tell you in his own words everything. Sometimes during a conversation like that, there are awkward silences and pauses and you (OP) could step in and unwittingly provide an excuse or soften the scenario for him. Be mindful that could happen and just hear him out.

No one knows what the outcome of the conversation might be. Brace yourself for the worst. Be prepared. And hope for the best. I hope it all works out for the best.

 

[luvestodizz]

It gets worse- I found the email inviting him to be her friend and it was sent to the Mike Facebook. So Michael was created to be friends with her. I just know if I confront him the reason will be he forgot his password.
He is leaving tonight for work reasons and keeps asking me why am I mad. I really don't know what to do.

 

[DisneyBlonde]

{{{luvestodizz}}} if possible don't let on you know. Let him go on his trip, and that will give you time to think about how you want to handle it.

 

[OceanAnnie]

It gets worse- I found the email inviting him to be her friend and it was sent to the Mike Facebook. So Michael was created to be friends with her. I just know if I confront him the reason will be he forgot his password.
He is leaving tonight for work reasons and keeps asking me why am I mad. I really don't know what to do.

Oh. I'm sorry. It does look worse.

Are these trips for work unusual? While he's away, try to find out what you can. There's a chance it's not much more than that. But I'm sorry, I smell a rat.

 

[Mom2Nick]

It gets worse- I found the email inviting him to be her friend and it was sent to the Mike Facebook. So Michael was created to be friends with her. I just know if I confront him the reason will be he forgot his password.
He is leaving tonight for work reasons and keeps asking me why am I mad. I really don't know what to do.

I think having a conversation with him would be wise. No point in being mand and not telling him why you are mad. At least give the guy a chance to explain first before you decide it's as bad as you think - kwim?

I personally would be mad myself, but it is possible that he was just curious and thought adding her as a regular FB friend would upset you.

 

[claudia]

It gets worse- I found the email inviting him to be her friend and it was sent to the Mike Facebook. So Michael was created to be friends with her. I just know if I confront him the reason will be he forgot his password.
He is leaving tonight for work reasons and keeps asking me why am I mad. I really don't know what to do.

you should tell him why you are upset.....

 

[AllyandJack]

I caught my H doing something iffy and, in haste, busted him (as in trotted down the stairs and gleefully showed him what I found because, by then, finding what I found actually made me happy because it proved I wasn't being obnoxious when I didn't trust him).

Looking back, I really wish I had kept my cool, created a fake account (he was trolling MySpace, not FB...same difference though), and contacted him.

A lot of people tell me I wouldn't REALLY want to do this because it would just hurt me in some way to see his response to the fake me, but I really regret not doing it that way.

Take your time to decide what to do next.

And, if he's going to say he forgot his password, why wouldn't he add all of his friends back? I've forgotten passwords before and not had to create brand new accounts. If I did create a new account for that reason, I'd certainly go back and add all my friends, not just 1 friend who wasn't a friend before I "lost my password".

I'd also start with the cell phone (that's where mine started and ended anyway), like a pp suggested.

As for the original question...yes, it would bother me and I'm doubtful anything he could say could convince me this was appropriate.