Would this be tacky?

[TheOtherVillainess]

My birthday is coming up soon. I don't know what DH is buying me. The only chance I have of getting something I truly like (other than DH's gift)is by getting stuff from my friends. Would it be tacky to kind of subtley hint what I want or give them a specific list?


Also...what is the BEST way to secretly return/exchange something without the giver knowing you did it? I always want to do this with DMIL's gifts (birthday or otherwise)because she NEVER gets me anything I could ever use or even remotely like. She always gets me something she thinks will 'improve' me and make me more like her own DD. Unfortunately,DSIL and I are so different it's not even funny. The only thing we share is a neonatal Lunar sign (Virgo).

TOV

 

[I_Know_You2!]

Bored today?

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I think there are ways to hint at gifts without being tacky.

I mean if you just came straight out and said "get me this", that would be kind of tacky, but I think if you go shopping with a friend or something, and see something you like and mention how much you liked it maybe once or twice again later, that's not tacky.

As for returning gifts you don't like/want, it depends. My nana gets me things I don't really like for birthdays a lot and I just keep it, because it's from her and it's the thought that counts.

 

[snoopy]

Tacky to give a wishlist to friends.

Not tacky to return gifts you don't like. If you know where it was purchased, its easy enough to return provided it still has its original tags. You might not get cash back, but you'd more than likely get a credit.

Of course, then you run the risk of the person who gave you the gift ask you where it is, or why you aren't wearing/displaying/whatever it, and then you have to make the decision to either white lie or be honest. In my family, its pretty easy to be honest, with my late MIL, I would have white lied.

 

[Strawberry Lemonade]

My friends usually ask my DH what to get me, or at least run an idea by him. I don't see any harm in having DH tell your family what you might like.

I don't really need to return things all that often. Sometimes I'll exchange a gift from my MIL, but she practically wraps the receipt up with the gift so she doesn't mind me returning things.

 

[Disney Doll]

It's tacky to in any way make known what you want as a gift. Whatever happened to appreciation for the thought?

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

Originally posted by Disney Doll
It's tacky to in any way make known what you want as a gift. Whatever happened to appreciation for the thought?

I agree, very tacky.

 

[Crankyshank]

I have been told many times that I am impossible to shop for. To make it easier for people (mainly DH who is horrible at shopping) I have an Amazon wishlist.

I don't go around telling people this, but when asked what I want for my birthday or christmas, I refer them to the wishlist. I never volunteer what I want. Tacky? maybe. But it does make things easier. I wish all my friends and family members had an amazon list- it would reduce my shopping stress.

As far as returning a gift you don't like, I would be gracious about it and try to not let the giver know it was returned.

 

[lulugirl]

I think it's tacky to expect gifts from your friends.
To return/exchange a gift you don't care for, not tacky.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

It is plain bad manner to give a list of gifts to anyone expecting that person to furnish you with one or more selections from that list.

Hints are rude, and quite childish.

If friends think enough of you to give you a gift, smile sweetly, give them a heartfelt thank you and then follow up with a sincere written note (NOT EMAIL).

If you must return something because it is broken or does not fit, fine, otherwise you are again descending into plain bad manners.

 

[NMAmy]

Originally posted by Disney Doll
It's tacky to in any way make known what you want as a gift. Whatever happened to appreciation for the thought?

LOL! Well, I'm tacky when it comes to DH. I make a list with many, many choices available (I like to be surprised) and he can, of course, buy anything that's not on the list if he'd like to. He's just awful at gift buying and this works for us. I also give him reminders--such as, 2 weeks to Christmas! He thinks it's the greatest thing ever.

I wouldn't pass that list around to friends, though.

I was talking to one of our students at work who thought it was awful that I tell dh I'd like flowers for Valentine's Day and then give him reminders that it's fast approaching. She told me, "He's supposed to KNOW." Well, honey, you're just setting yourself up for disappointment!

 

[H&Hmommy]

I vote tacky!!

 

[Pooh67_68]

My mother always ask me for a list of the things that my husband and I want and or need, be it birthday or christmas. And yes I give her one, if that makes me tacky, so be it.

As for a friend, if they ask what I would like than I tell them. Of course they are free to get me aything they want.

I never had to return anything, so I can't help you out there.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

If you must return something because it is broken or does not fit, fine, otherwise you are again descending into plain bad manners.

Even if it's something that I'll NEVER EVER use that will just sit there collecting dust when I could return it and get something I really want?
DMIL does this all the time. I have stuff in my closet she's given me for birthdays/christmas/whatever that I'll never wear, not even for a second. Some of it even me.

Like crankyshank, I am one of the HARDEST people to shop for so I thought I'd give my buds a hand and pass out a wishlist. I wouldn't know who bought what, so whatever I got would still be a surprise.


Ok..so the wishlist is tacky and won't be passed on. Thanks ya'll.

TOV

 

[C.Ann]

Any gift is fine with me.. Luckily most people remember the different things I have mentioned that I like throughout the course of a year.. That always amazes me, considering I can't remember what I wanted yesterday... LOL

 

[caitycaity]

i don't think a wishlist is tacky if people are asking you what to buy. i have a wishlist that i give to my mom (she asks) for xmas and birthdays. like crankshanks, i maintain an online wishlist and if dh or anyone asks, i just refer them to it. of course people are free to buy off the list. i never thought of it as being tacky!

if you were just going up to people and saying "here's what i want" then yeah, that's tacky.

 

[missypie]

I don't have a single friend who gives me a birthday gift, so you should consider yourself fortunate.

When I'm a mother in law, I swear that as each new person comes into the family I am going to sit down with them and prepare a gift profile...what they like, hate, any allergies, etc. I know that people's tastes change, but it would at least help. I am allergic to nuts and don't drink caffeine, and I can't tell you how may nut filled treats and fancy teas I've received from DH's family members over the years!

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Originally posted by missypie
I don't have a single friend who gives me a birthday gift, so you should consider yourself fortunate.

When I'm a mother in law, I swear that as each new person comes into the family I am going to sit down with them and prepare a gift profile...what they like, hate, any allergies, etc. I know that people's tastes change, but it would at least help. I am allergic to nuts and don't drink caffeine, and I can't tell you how may nut filled treats and fancy teas I've received from DH's family members over the years!

I think that's a great idea! I am thinking about having our families do wish lists. We always end up calling MIL and asking what to get SIL and BIL's and she never knows! LOL!

A profile would be great since they would be new to the family.

Great idea. Thanks!

 

[SandraM]

Originally posted by TheOtherVillainess
My birthday is coming up soon. I don't know what DH is buying me. The only chance I have of getting something I truly like (other than DH's gift)is by getting stuff from my friends. Would it be tacky to kind of subtley hint what I want or give them a specific list?

Also...what is the BEST way to secretly return/exchange something without the giver knowing you did it?
TOV

It might be too late this year, but if you ask your friends for suggestions before their birthdays, hopefully they will return the favour when buying a gift for yours?!
I have on occasion given a gift that I haven't been sure was quite the right thing. In these cases I've enclosed a sealed envelope with the receipt enclosed (most places do gift receipts now anyhow), and said to the person that I would rather they have something they liked than something they felt they should pretend to like, so please feel free to exchange it. A couple of people have done the same thing back to me, and I think it's great. I really hate to see a gift wasted!

 

[Kallison]

I would circle in a LandsEnd or LLBean catalog what I wanted from my MIL and she would still get me the wrong thing. I swore it was on purpose! Your MIL buys you stuff you don't like intentionally, just return it, if she asks be truthful -- your taste sucks!