Would this be rude?

[1stluvispooh]

I am going into my DD's classroom tomorrow morning to observe. She is showing signs of stress that haven't gone away since the beginning of school. Would it be rude (I guess that would be the word) if I came armed with a note book to write down my observations? I just keep getting the feeling that there are things going on in the classroom that the teacher is unaware of, like what happened in her 2nd grade class.

Thanks for all your thoughts!

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

I wouldn't find it rude, but let me preface by saying I ALWAYS carry a notebook with me... if I don't write stuff down, it's gets lost or forgotten.

I would have one because it's natural.

If you are that worried, scribble a to do list and a shopping list in it too.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

If you are going in there to observe, I think having a notebook is necessary, rude or not.

You cannot expect to fix things if you cannot recall exactly what the details are. I know I would need to take notes.

 

[pixiemel]

Absolutely, you should! It's admirable that you are being proactive! Maybe your findings can enlighten the teacher. It's bizarre to me that so much can go on right under their noses.

 

[allison443]

I assume the teacher knows you're coming, right? So when you greet the teacher, just mention you will be taking notes of what you observe.

 

[1stluvispooh]

I assume the teacher knows you're coming, right? So when you greet the teacher, just mention you will be taking notes of what you observe.

No I don't let the teacher know when I am coming. The point is to see a regular day not a day when they know they are going to be observed.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Okay, as a parent who has been in this exact situation, and who really has no love lost for the school system.... I would suggest that you do not write in a notebook while you are in the classroom.

This advice is not based on whether or not it could be considered rude.
Not at all.

This advice is given to you with the best interest of you getting a more objective and less skewed experience as you observe. My advice would be to go in as nicely and quietly and as un-noticeable as possible.

You don't want to be percieved as any more of a threat or an audience than absolutely necessary.

You don't want to look like a criminal detective or a lawyer building a case.

The more intrusive your presence, the more it will affect the teachers and the other children's behaviors.

As I said, I've been there....
And I can guarantee you that if any factors do jump out at you, this will not be 'forgotten' before you have a chance to walk outside during some kind of break where you will have the chance to document.

 

[Wishing on a star]

No I don't let the teacher know when I am coming. The point is to see a regular day not a day when they know they are going to be observed.

Excellent....

However, be prepared for some possible resistance, and for the teacher to be 'buzzed' or called to fore-warn her, and to even get 'permission'.....

I have found out a LOT about my son's experience in school by 'dropping by'.... Important info and factors that pertained to my son and his IEP as a SPEd student.
Sometimes it can be only a matter of minutes until you see what you need to see.

When the new Principal (nicknamed 'Nazi') Began literally standing guard and denying parent's access... that was thing that made my final decision to remove my son from the school.

 

[jrmasm]

Excellent....

However, be prepared for some possible resistance, and for the teacher to be 'buzzed' or called to fore-warn her, and to even get 'permission'.....

I have found out a LOT about my son's experience in school by 'dropping by'.... Important info and factors that pertained to my son and his IEP as a SPEd student.
Sometimes it can only a matter of minutes until you see what you need to see.

When the new Principal (nicknamed 'Nazi') Began literally standing guard and denying parent's access... that was thing that made my final decision to remove my son from the school.

You don't think that just dropping in might be disruptive to the other children in the class.

 

[allison443]

No I don't let the teacher know when I am coming. The point is to see a regular day not a day when they know they are going to be observed.

Oh, okay, I misunderstood, it sounds like you are going to observe the teacher because there might be a problem with the teacher?
But wouldn't you speak to the teacher when you get there anyway?

 

[allison443]

Excellent....

However, be prepared for some possible resistance, and for the teacher to be 'buzzed' or called to fore-warn her, and to even get 'permission'.....

I have found out a LOT about my son's experience in school by 'dropping by'.... Important info and factors that pertained to my son and his IEP as a SPEd student.
Sometimes it can be only a matter of minutes until you see what you need to see.

When the new Principal (nicknamed 'Nazi') Began literally standing guard and denying parent's access... that was thing that made my final decision to remove my son from the school.

My kids' schools never allowed random parents to just drop by and observe a class...I wouldn't want them to.

 

[Wishing on a star]

A simple, "hello! I am just here to see how little daughter is doing in school/getting along in the classroom/etc.!", with a BIG smile, would be all that is necessary.

Any real discussion should be reserved for the next parent/teacher conference.

Not classroom time....

 

[disneyfans95]

My kids' schools never allowed random parents to just drop by and observe a class...I wouldn't want them to.

Agreed.

Not saying the OP did not do this (just she did not say) but what other ways has been tried to work thru the issue.

We don't the DD age, past history, if it is just one teacher, any develepmental issues with the DD etc.

 

[Wishing on a star]

OP, as you can see all the bashing of evil parents is set to kick in here...
If you have never dealt with this feedback before - I am just giving you a heads-up.

Kudo's for looking out for your child's best interest and trying to see what might be upsetting/stressing her!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Agreed.

Not saying the OP did not do this (just she did not say) but what other ways has been tried to work thru the issue.

We don't the DD age, past history, if it is just one teacher, any develepmental issues with the DD etc.

And this is your/our business... HOW?????


OP, again, just in case this is new to you and this forewarning is necessary... Don't let yourself get sucked in here.

 

[MELSMICE]

My kids have not been in elementary school for awhile, so I'm not sure if we were allowed to drop in or not (I never did). Does your school allow this?

I volunteered in the classroom a lot - just about once a week in someone's room, so I saw a lot of what went on.

I'm not sure if I think it's a good thing or bad that parents could just stop by.

 

[1stluvispooh]

Excellent....

However, be prepared for some possible resistance, and for the teacher to be 'buzzed' or called to fore-warn her, and to even get 'permission'.....

I have found out a LOT about my son's experience in school by 'dropping by'.... Important info and factors that pertained to my son and his IEP as a SPEd student.
Sometimes it can be only a matter of minutes until you see what you need to see.

When the new Principal (nicknamed 'Nazi') Began literally standing guard and denying parent's access... that was thing that made my final decision to remove my son from the school.

Oh no we have a new Principal this year. I have gone before and haven't had any problems but now you've got me worried. Yep the things I noticed before stood out like a sore thumb. Uhm yeah that kid did push DD and a classmate down on the ground and the teacher didn't notice.

 

[allison443]

OP I assume your school allows you to drop in and observe a class unannounced. I would just keep in mind that what you see may not be a "typical" day; due to a variety of factors things could be better or worse than normal...so maybe you would have to visit more than once to get a true picture. As I mentioned my school didn't allow it, but if yours does, you may as well do so.

Does your dd know you are coming or will she be surprised to see you?

 

[NHdisneylover]

Taking notes while observing a classroom environment is not rude in the least.

Showing up to observe totally unannounced is rude and could seriously disrupt the day for the children trying to learn in the class--and in many schools in this day and age may not be allowed due to safety concerns. In extreme cases it may still be what you need to do for your child--but I would start with a scheduled observation--maybe the teacher IS missing some things (easy to do with 20 or more kids in one room) but maybe you will see things you did not know about your child too. Go in with the true intent of working WITH the teacher and the school. I hope you have already done this and truly are at the point that disrupting the day for all is your only choice--and of that is the case I am so sorry. It is really hard when your child is suffering at school.

 

[1stluvispooh]

Oh, okay, I misunderstood, it sounds like you are going to observe the teacher because there might be a problem with the teacher?
But wouldn't you speak to the teacher when you get there anyway?

Sorry should have pointed out that DD is on an IEP. There have been a couple of things that have happened that in my mind shouldn't have like choir was canceled and I wasn't notified. Thank goodness I deiced to come home unload the car and then go get her at school because the bus was in my street. Her homeroom teacher has been quick to fall on her sword so to speak only for me to find out later that it really was the math/science teacher or the special ed teacher. So that is why I am going with out getting into to many more specifics