Would it be mean? Is it better not to offer?

[SnowWhite09]

I don't think it is mean - it is a wonderful gesture; every child should have the Disneyland experience. Perhaps a fairer way to decide who gets to go when is to put their names in a hat and draw a name out; then there appears to be no favoritism as such. Then let the other's know that you will be going again at X time so they know when to expect that they may be invited.

Good luck and have a wonderful trip!

 

[JustAKid]

I think the solution that you and your brother came up with is an excellent one, although it IS so far off not to mention the fact that plans can change so much in those 3 years. Atleast they get to go at all. I want a sister like you!

 

[pycees312]

good plan you came up with. I was going to say take all 3.. seperately is not a " family" thing to do and would only cause problems in the end.

If you are financially able why not take the whole family and work out a payment plan for your bro. He seems like he is not the type to burn you although you never know. good luck with that. at least this way he will be responsible for the kids behavior not you.

just have to ask.. if the older kids are rotten like you say why encourage him to take them in the first place??

 

[eargal]

just have to ask.. if the older kids are rotten like you say why encourage him to take them in the first place??

It's the younger two that are the concern, and they are by no means rotten. They are a bit wild and they tend to run off and pretend not to hear you when you call them back. They also talk back to adults. It's nothing that can't be handled if you have a tight reign but with 5 kids all together at once, it's difficult to keep control.

Everyone has different standards for behavior and I know kids like to be rowdy now and again. My brother and his wife have a different standard for acceptable behavior than my husband and I do. It's not a problem in general. The kids know what the standards are for their behavior in my home and my brother and his wife support it.

Anyway....I just want these kids, who I love immensely, to have the opportunity to experience Disneyland. Now that I know that there is a plan, when my nephew mentions that he hasn't been yet, I'll be happier knowing that it is in the works.

 

[bumbershoot]

eargal, has your brother found the Dave Ramsey plan? It's pretty good. He can get the book from the library (that's what I did), the Total Money Makeover. If he's into message boards at all, llnoe dot com is good. Sounds like he's basically doing it already, just longer than many people on "the plan" take.

I'm glad you were able to talk to your brother. My brother and I don't *feel* close, but he and his wife are always offering to help us in any way they can. Now, we only have the one kid so far, and they surprised themselves by adoring him (they are philosophically anti-kid, LOL), and they like making it possible for him to go places, but they are absolutely unwilling to take him alone, so they make it possible for me to go with. I'm also the oldest of 5 in my family...the one full brother and 3 half-sibs, and I was the one forgotten about as each parent became more financially solvent and they were able to do stuff with the youngers. Found out in '07 that my dad and stepmom are quite the big Disneyland fans, and had stayed many times at PPH...news to me! When we went, the one or two times EVER in my childhood, we stayed at the MOtel6 with my dad (though we got to stay at DLH with my mom and stepdad the one time we went with them)...

So anyway, unfair stuff happens in families, and while I don't think that's ideal, sometimes it just happens and kids get over it to the extent where they can type about it 20+ years later without feeling bummed (and actually smiling).

But still, as someone said, if they decide to opt for the one at a time method, yes, make sure they all go, and also the whole family option is a better one.

(I'm all over the place there, jinkies!)

 

[eargal]

eargal, has your brother found the Dave Ramsey plan? It's pretty good. He can get the book from the library (that's what I did), the Total Money Makeover. If he's into message boards at all, llnoe dot com is good. Sounds like he's basically doing it already, just longer than many people on "the plan" take.

QUOTE

Yes, they tried Dave Ramsey. They were not able to tow the line. When we ran the numbers with them it was clear as to why they are falling further behind. The reason for the new plan being so very long is that they have EXTENSIVE debt and their current income barely covers essentials. My sister-in-law does not want to work and my brother is capped at his job. An extra part-time job and overtime are the only extra money for paying down debt. Their lifestyle is now pretty lean.

Also, I wanted to mention that I remember you talking about your non-kid-liking brother and sister-in-law before. I think it is so funny the way they have taken to your son. Kid's make everything different! I've seen you all over these boards since your son was little and your Avatar was you carrying him in a front pack.

I'm from the Seattle area and have a vegetarian best friend so I always find your posts interesting.

O.k. now I sound like a stalker!

 

[nunzia]

Couldn't you just offer to also take the kids's parents? Maybe your Mom could pitch in or something..make it a Christmas gift? Then everyone could go all at once and share it together.

 

[Stacerita]

I have three nephews and take each one for their birthdays. I have done this for a few years now. When I first started, my SIL wasn't happy and wanted me to take all 3 at once or not at all. I said fine, I won't take them and just do something else for their birthdays. She quickly changed her mind and my nephews love going. They also love that they get to go alone and be the "special" one for the day. Each one knows they will get their turn. I have a few times taken all three, but I don't like it like that. Too many to keep an eye on, plus it hits the pocket book hard. Taking one at a time works the best. I've done it for years and they are happy with it. As a matter of fact, I am taking one of them next friday. He is super excited about it.

 

[Donald is #1]

So, I took Bumpershoot's suggestion and called my brother. He is the sweetest guy! He thanked me and mentioned that he knew I would make a way for his kids to go if he wanted me to.

He feels torn, as expected. He's afraid that his wife will insist that all three kids go at once which, my husband and my mother both think is too much. They're not being mean, just realistic. You would have to spend a day with the kids to understand.

My brother and I are going to make a plan together so that after a couple of years when his immediate bills are under control, he can start saving a bit from his second job. I will save air miles (I have a business and accumulate miles pretty quickly) so that I can pay for airfair for all 5 of them. We will ask for my parents to consider paying for an extra hotel room, I'll pitch in some for park tickets and we should be able to make it work.

It will take just over 3 years or so but the kids will be around 12, 11 and 9 and will be a great age to remember it forever.

Plus, I get to look forward to going to Disney with my brother! Whoo Hoo!

Boy do I appreciate everyone's input. I just needed to get a feel for someone else's take on the situation so that I could calm down a bit and think rationally!

I think that you have come up with an awesome solution!


In my case, I will be taking my nephew next year and his sister the year after to WDW. They will each be 13 for their trip and are excited to get a trip to WDW with just me. In their case, they have known for over a year that they will each be going separately. I took them together with their Mom tagging along last November and it was interesting. They were very quick to point out to Mom that Aunt Donald is #1 gets to make the rule. They both know exactly when they are going (ok, not exactly, but they know month & year) and talk about it often.

 

[darph nader]

I think it would be completely ok to offer, BUT ask the parents privately first. Also, I think the one kid at a time deal would be fine so long as you make sure the rest all actually get their trip.

How very sweet of you

I like this idea.
It's none of my business,but if you do pull it off,have the 'trip' kid bring small suvvies back for the other two.

 

[LuvIt]

I think you came up with a great plan and 3 years is not that far off...and gives everyone something to look forward to! Your brother's kids, especially the older 2, are old enough to get involved and "contribute" as they can towords the trip. Maybe by doing chores around the house etc. and keeping a weekly chore chart so at the end of the year they can see they have 52 "stars" that will equate to earning money (from grandparents?) for the trip so they have a visual of what they are working towards. Could they offer to pet sit or mow lawns or something in their neighborhood.
Going as a family with your family will be awesome for everybody!