worrying about teens and parties if you had teens some ?????

[Tiggeroo]

There are several end of the year parties at my sons work. Most parties there involve alot of drinking, (alot of the other guys are college aged or above). He's only 17. He bypasses most of the stuff because he's always pressured to drink. Tonight he went to one. He's a good kid and has never given me any reason to not trust him. His first plan was to sleep over, cause everybody else is. Having been a teenager myself, I nixed that idea. I did give him an extension on his curfew, gave him my cell phone, and took the address where the party is. It is a supervisers house, but if my son wants to drink I'm sure he could. The house is on the water so there's another worry.
It was very tough for me to let him go. But he is going to be a senior this year, and then off to college. I feel like if I shelter him when he goes off to college where there are no limits he will be in so much trouble. So I'm trying to give him as much freedom as he earns, with the thought that it's better to make mistakes when your home and your parents can protect you some. If you had teens how did you handle this.

 

[Cruisin]

I have a 17 year old daughter and I think I would have done the same thing you did.

Actually, she was invited to a barbeque with her boyfriend (19 and legally can drink here). She went and said that she was offered many, many alcoholic drinks but that she drank nothing, not even Pepsi the whole time that she was there.

I also try to remember that she will be 18 soon. I have to give her a little space to grow up in. I have to trust that I have done my work with her already and that she will do what is best for herself when she is presented with this kind of thing.

I hope that your son has a good time tonight and that he comes home safely.

 

[hentob]

Hope your son had a good time! Good decision on your part! You need to let him know that you trust him. You did just that. Congrats and I am sorry your baby is growing up It is tough, I am sure. I have none over six y/o , but I have little brothers in their teens. It is rough, but he will be fine.

Cruisin' Krozes--You hit the nail on the head. Your work and molding as a parent will be evident in the coming years.


As a side note, it is my opinion that just b/c a teen/young adult drinks or has sex with a s/o doesn't mean she or he is a bad kid.

Hugs to you all with older teens.

 

[Tiggeroo]

i think the drinking age should be 18 here. I have let my dd have occasional drinks at home and at relatives since she was 18. It's the excess drinking that goes on at these parties that worries me. My son is just turned 17 and weighs 125 soaking wet. He is a runner and keeps his body fat really low. So I keep telling him that he will have to be careful when he drinks because he's a bit more susceptible to getting sick then some of the bigger guys. Last year several kids on his running team were hospitalized with alcohol poisoning, they are all as thin as he is. No matter what my opinions on teen drinking, sex, and other problems I would rather kids screw up while their parents can be there then wait til they're out on their own and the consequences are even worst. But it's a rough night since I told him he could stay til 2am or even a bit later if he calls. And I won't go to sleep til he's in. Out of the three kids this one is the social butterfly, always going.

 

[hentob]

Tiggeroo--On a whim, now that you mentioned that your son is a runner--Were you the one that suggested to me on another board about Running Works camp in Canadensis for my younger brother?

Did your son go this year?

If so, please PM me!

Thanks!!

 

[Tiggeroo]

Yep I suggested it. My son didn't go because he was still recovering from a stress fracture and didn't think his mileage was high enough. PM on the way.

 

[powellrj]

its really a hard time. I think I sometimes worried about my DS when he was home and out with his friends than I am now. You need to let them grow-up, but there are so many things that can go wrong its scary. What makes me so angry was when DS when home over christmas and several of his friends parents offered him beer. Luckly he turned them down because he knew how much he had to lose if he were to get caught drinking, but come-on, don't offer my minor child beer.

I think that you did the right thing, but you will still worry.

 

[Serena]

You gotta trust them until they give you a reason not to. It's hard raising kids.

 

[shortbun]

How's it go? Just read your post. I think you did the right thing,
taking precautions then letting him "fly".

 

[Disneymaddness]

Tiggeroo, this is such a hard age. I also have a 17 yo son. He is my second child and his older brother was so easy, small group of close friends, not too much partying. This one has ALOT of friends and is always on the go. I ask all the usual questions and he swears that he isn't doing anything wrong but you never know. I worry all the time. I think that we just have to trust that we brought them up to do the right thing and hope for the best. Of course, I will continue to set down rules and ask a million questions! Oh, BTW, we have forbidden sleepovers, they are always trouble!