Worried about DS & New School

[GJM]

We just moved from NJ to SC - my DS started lst. grade at his new school Monday, his teacher is truly wonderful. In NJ he was seeing the reading specialist because he was behind in reading, and he just started getting extra help from his teacher.

I walked him into school to show him where the class is and started speaking with his teacher. She told me he is at a level 3 and to get into 2nd. grade he needs to be at a 20, he should be at level 14. I told her whatever it takes to get him where he should be, she was telling me about a website he can do stuff on in school and at home, see the reading teacher, and she would stay after with him 3 days a week, plus get a tutor. I even told her if it means going to summer school we will do that.

This school is further along even in Math - and he went to a good school in NJ.

I just don't want to overwhelm him, but I also don't want him to get left back, he is older to begin with because of where his birthday falls. I will work with him at home, but he seems to do better when it is someone else!

Anyone else move and their child was not up to where they should be in a new school. I am stressing about this - how do I get it across to him that we have to work hard withou stressing him out.

Sorry for rambling -

 

[meandtheguys2]

Since he is only in 1st grade, and you are moving, would holding him back be an option? Grade levels are arbitrary, and little boys especially sometimes need a bit more time to develop.

Not meaning to offend!

 

[Regina]

I had this same experience. My DS always got great grades in NY. When we moved to GA for two years we were shocked to find out that he was way behind in his reading skills. Instead of starting a foreign language course, he had double English courses. We also took him to a tutoring center. (Similar to Sylvan.) I strongly recommend doing this if there's one in your area.

The ironic part was when we returned to the same school system in NY, they wouldn't let him take a foreign language course in Junior High because he didn't begin it during those two years we were gone. In other words, although they offered a first year language course, since he was in the final year of junior high, he would have to start it at that level.

If they hadn't been dishing out "self-esteem" grades throughout elementary school, we would have been aware of the problem and dealt with it.

The following year we enrolled him in a Catholic High School. Best thing we ever did.

 

[mickeyboat]

My daughters are in first grade. One is 7, and her birthday falls the day after the K cut-off, so she is probably the oldest child in her class. The other is 6, and her birthday falls 4 days before the cut off, and she is probably the youngest in her class.

Both girls were reading at about the same level until Christmas time. The oldest seemed to have a "light bulb" moment, when reading just started making a lot more sense to her. I spoke to the youngest's teacher about this, and she said this is very typical. I think the youngest is just having her light bulb moment now, as I have noticed her reading has gotten much much better in the past couple of weeks.

Ask the teacher about reading strategies. The PTA had a speaker come in and teach parents about a reading program (I can't remember its name) where a parent and child take turns reading a sentence or a page each. If the child gets tired, the parent takes over for a while. I used this method with my youngest, and it made reading a lot more enjoyable for us because she didn't feel so much pressure and so overwhelmed by the book that she just wanted to quit.

There are some wonderful books out there at lots of different levels. I find that if the book is more interesting to the kids, they are much more likely to try to read it, and stick with it. My youngest loves fire-fighting, so we have lots of fire-fighting books. My oldest loves Junie B, so we have been collecting those too. The Biscuit books are great to develop confidence.

Our school has a "reading recovery program," where children who are behind in their reading get extra attention and instruction. Most children in the program are up to grade level by the end of the year, even if they started way behind.

I do think retention may be a viable option. But I would definitely talk to the teacher seriously about it to make sure it is the right decision for your son.

Good luck! Denae

 

[Mkrop]

I moved twice as a child (3rd grade PA to NY and 8th grade NY to PA) and each time I was either ahead or behind in several subjects. I was a good student so many times I had to work extra to get caught up but sometimes I was teaching the other kids how to do stuff because I had already learned it. Got in trouble in 8th grade for that, teacher didnt like that I was teaching Math during rainy day recess and the kids were getting the way I was teaching it Oops!

Friend of mine moved literally 20 minutes from old house and school districts were so differnt and her 3rd grader had to get caught up in Spanish. She did lots of tutoring.

Work with his teacher as best as you can, and look into turtoring places, you know how much he can handle back off if you need to.

Good luck

 

[GJM]

Thanks everyone - the one thing we really don't want to do is hold him back. The teacher is going to give me some ideas of how to work with him. I think the "light bulb" hasn't gone off yet. The other day he actually read most of a book to me.

The teacher is going to find out about a tutor, she said some of the teachers tutor and she will let me know. It is such a hard adjustment for him to begin with, it breaks my heart. He gets upset when he doesn't know something which doesn't help.

Lots of people always think the schools up North are better or advanced, that sure isn't true!

 

[rileyroosmom]

This happened to me. I moved from NY to GA at the start of the school year. My son was in second grade for 1 week when the teacher called and said she believed he should go back to 1st grade. I met with the principal and was shocked and what he was expected to know. I believe GA is a year ahead of where NY was. Long story short, I put him back to 1st. I think it was the right choice. If I left him in 2nd, he would always be struggling to keep up and I thought that would not be a good thing. He does fine this year (now in 3rd grade). He has no problems socializing with kids a year younger. I think you'll find in the South that it is not uncommon for parents to hold their kids a year before sending them to Kindergarten. Also, here the cut off date is earlier than it was in NY so there are lots of "older" kids in the class. Even though he is 9 (will be 10 next month) there are lots of others who are 9. Besides, he turns 10 with only 4 weeks of school left in the year.

I also did my college thesis on this subject. My research showed my that it is not about calendar age of the child, it is more important what their developmental age is.

My own belief is, school won't be all that much fun if he is constantly going to specialists and tutors to keep up.

Good luck, I know it's a hard position to be in.

 

[GJM]

How did you DS feel about going back a grade? Trust me if that will be for the best we would do that. I don't want him to constantly struggle and end up really hating school. My DS just turned 7 in Dec.

I feel bad for him with the whole adjustment to moving and now with school on top of it doesn't help.

 

[Hannathy]

I think holding him back would be a lot less stressful in the long run than the stress of being behind and knowing he is struggling and working all summer with the pressure that if he doesn't do it you'll be disappointed,etc. I would work a little harder than maybe normal but if he isn't caught up by end of school I would just do it over. He has a better chance of reaching his full potential if he is working on an equal ground to everyone else than continuously struggling just to catch up. These things happen when you move and it is a consequence that has to be dealt with. Lots of kids repeat kind or 1st gr and become excellent students and being new no one will even notice.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Would pulling him (homeschool) and spending the next 6 months working on reading and math be an option?

 

[GJM]

Trust me he would do better in school, he will listen to the teacher better then me. I was even telling his teacher he would do better with someone else other then me and she totally understood!

I guess we will see how the next couple of months go and take it from there.

Sometimes he will amaze me with a word he can spell or recognize! And other times I want to bang my head against the wall!

When I was younger I struggled with reading, had to stay after school for extra help - now I LOVE to read!

 

[mickeyboat]

Trust me he would do better in school, he will listen to the teacher better then me. I was even telling his teacher he would do better with someone else other then me and she totally understood!

That reminds me. I talked to the one teacher about this a while back, and she reminded me that parents get their kids at the end of the day - during the "bewitching hour." They are tired, hungry and cranky, and so are we. She said she's lucky because she gets them when they are rested, fed and excited about their day.

I was talking to DH about the youngest's reading the other day, and he was thinking about waking her up a little earlier in the morning and having her read with him then instead of at night.