Work Vacation issue. WWYD?

[scrapquitler]

I cannot believe I just read this. Really? A vacation comes before a wedding?? Geez what happened to compassion and walking a mile in anothers shoes?
I would never think I come before the rest of the world! I'm not that special.

OP - I get not being able to take your son out of college for vacation - but what about vacationing in April or May? Pulling him from his senior year should be much easier.

And I am someone who always had seniority - but WORKED 7 consecutive Thanksgivings and Christmases (when I worked for an airline) - because I did NOT have kids and wanted those who did to have the day with their little ones.

Seriously? April and May of senior year are when all the senior activities, including AP exams are. It's an extremely busy time for seniors and I can't imagine taking the time out of school then for a vacation. Never mind the threat of losing credit and not graduating for too many missed days.

 

[Darcy03231]

I mean, looking at it objectively, there are 52 weeks a year. OP says she's in the middle of the pack, so let's assume 6 weeks are taken, that leaves 46 weeks to choose from. And the ONLY one that works, is one that a coworker needs for her daughter's wedding? 46 weeks? And nothing works?

I understand not wanting to take your kid out of school, but it will not be the end of his education. A week will not make a difference between an A and an F. He can easily, I assume, take work with him.

Frankly, I would do all I could to accommodate the coworker because it is, in all honesty and in my opinion, the right thing to do.

It depends on where you live. My kids are grown and no longer in the school system, but where I lived no work was given out ahead of time and it was up to the teacher whether or not they wanted to give/accept make-up work. If the teacher didn't want to do it the student gets zeros on everything missed. To compound the problem we were on block scheduling so taking a week's vacation was equivalent to missing two weeks worth of material, and the teacher was not under any requirement to make sure that the child received the instruction. There's no way I would have taken one of my children out of school for a week's vacation.

 

[Dizneefamily+4]

I agree with everyone that this is a horrible vacation policy (but I also get that the other perks-no weekends or holidays-are worth it.) However, I'm with those who say that they would take the week if that's all that's left available for the summer break. In our case, summer vacations are really the only time we can vacation as a family. DH is a high school teacher and my kids are in High School and Middle School - they don't want to be pulled out of school and have to make up all the work. This vacation policy would seriously suck for our family.

If this were me, I'd take the week. The coworker's issue is between her and management. I get that it's her child's wedding, but that's not the OP's fault. She paid her dues at one time being low man on the totem pole. Now she gets to reap the benefits of being a little higher up.

 

[LilyWDW]

I would take the week and not really feel that guilty about it.

1) It is a horrible policy, but the OP and coworkers need to work within it. The Coworker in question knew about the policy when she started working there and agreed to it. If she doesn't like it, then she can give up her otherwise nice job and find something else.

2) The Coworker doesn't seem to be much of a team player. Between the guilt trip she gave the others and how she has left them high and dry in the past, I wouldn't be willing to go out of my way for her. Maybe the Coworker should have been a better person if she knew she would need help at some point.

3) This is between the coworker and the boss. No one else. It is not fair that the OP has to deal with guilt trips and other junk like that.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I would find a new job! That's horrible! I work in a surgery office with 4 girls. Two can have off at a time. Three can have off if it's around a holiday.

I also wouldn't pick that week. It's her daughters wedding. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. I try to do the right thing and sleep better at night. I don't care if someone else were to take it but I wouldn't want that on my conscience.

But in my circumstance, I like my coworkers. We work as a team. We are very good friends. I would be in there gabbing about my daughter's wedding and none of them would even think to take that week because that's just how we roll. We actually cancel days off if someone has something important to do and the other person is just taking off to hang out at home.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I would find a new job! That's horrible! I work in a surgery office with 4 girls. Two can have off at a time. Three can have off if it's around a holiday.

I also wouldn't pick that week. It's her daughters wedding. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. I try to do the right thing and sleep better at night. I don't care if someone else were to take it but I wouldn't want that on my conscience.

But in my circumstance, I like my coworkers. We work as a team. We are very good friends. I would be in there gabbing about my daughter's wedding and none of them would even think to take that week because that's just how we roll. We actually cancel days off if someone has something important to do and the other person is just taking off to hang out at home.

MTE

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

OP Do whatever you think is best but never forget that what goes around comes back around. There could be a time where you are the mother of the groom or bride or someone very close to you is very ill and you need the time off. Sounds like you work in a volatile environment where it's every man for himself.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I also want to add, if I had a vacation planned and my coworker told me her child was getting married that same week, I would reschedule my vacation. Especially if it was 8 months notice.

 

[cluvsdisney]

If it were me, I wouldn't take that week. Despite that she is not a team player, I would feel horrible about being obstacle for this woman to attend her daughter's wedding.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

Seriously? April and May of senior year are when all the senior activities, including AP exams are. It's an extremely busy time for seniors and I can't imagine taking the time out of school then for a vacation. Never mind the threat of losing credit and not graduating for too many missed days.

Its very common here - college acceptances have been issued, senioritis has set in, its a good time to travel.
I'm just saying, I feel the OP has other options.​

 

[Snap Crackle Pop]

I wouldn't take it personally, because what goes around comes around and being the reason why a person can't go to their own child's wedding because I absolutely needed to go on vacation during that time just would not sit well with me. There isn't really a good reason to take it imo other than spite cause she's not a team player and sucks to be her. Unless a child who is going away for college plans to NEVER RETURN HOME IN FOUR-FIVE years, there will be plenty of other times to take a family vacation. Most people don't plan on getting married more than once, so this could be it for the mother and how sad would it be if she could not go because she let people know she was having a wedding at that time and how important it was for her to go but people were like too bad so sad? Hmm.

 

[Nennie]

How great of a job is this? Just curious if it's a "job" or a "career," meaning the MOB would seriously quit over it? I say this b/c I had a "job" once (as a bank teller) when I was in college, and they wouldn't let me have off for spring break, even though the dorms would be closed and I wouldn't have anywhere to stay, so I quit! LOL!! This was a very replaceable job though, so it wasn't a big deal.

In my current profession, I couldn't just fly off the handle like that, but then again, I couldn't imagine working in an environment with such a horrible vacation policy.

Assuming that it's not a replaceable job, and that nobody can quit b/c of the horrible vacation policy, I would not take that particular week out of courtesy to the MOB.

 

[sk!mom]

I would speak with my boss now and ask if an exception will be made for her to have time off for her DD's wedding.

And I agree that it's terrible system. How are illnesses, bereavement time, or other unplanned events handled?

 

[mnrose]

Call in sick for more than 1 day.

That would be lying and grounds for termination. I'd never advocate this approach, especially after the big deal she has made of "needing" this particular week off. She might as well quit, and claim she was "forced out" (wherein she might get unemployment benefits), but if she's fired because she lied, well, too bad so sad for her.

 

[mnrose]

Since you are not the "last" to pick before this woman, she needs not only you, but the next 4-5 people to bypass the only remaining prime summer week. Fat chance of that happening. Therefore, take the week you want (and have earned by reason of your seniority), and then let the other woman work it out with the boss.

I feel for the other woman, but honestly, those are the breaks of being low man on the totem pole. We lived with that for a number of years before DH worked himself into enough seniority that he chose in the middle of the pack, rather than the tail end. It sucks to choose last...as ALL the prime weeks are long gone before the last get to pick. That's life. Sorry, but it's the way it is.

Don't feel the least bit bad, OP.

 

[Hikergirl]

OP Do whatever you think is best but never forget that what goes around comes back around. There could be a time where you are the mother of the groom or bride or someone very close to you is very ill and you need the time off. Sounds like you work in a volatile environment where it's every man for himself.

Based on this post by the OP it looks like it has come around for the coworker.

I agree where I work literally most people don't give a crap if u need off for a certain event even your kids wedding.
This woman has been here a year and in this year has manipulated many times to be off when she needed to.
She on more than one occasion has told people she would cover for them and then in the end it's oh yea I can't or I forgot.
One of our co workers needed to leave to go to her 3 year olds program at pre school, this woman 3 weeks before said she would cover then last minute tells her something came up.

Two weeks ago my daughter had a lacrosse tryout. One time one night thing. I was working late. My boss said try and find someone first.
Said person offered to stay if I needed her to.
The day ran late , I was stuck away from everyone else . But the place knew our group was still there.
When time was getting close that I needed to leave another co worker who is 6 months pregnant called and asked me if I needed her to stay.
I said where's so and so. She's like oh she went home she figured you'd be done.
Then she has the nerve to text me and ask if we were done. I said no
She replied oh I'm sorry I'm home I thought you'd be done.
Pregnant co worker stays for me. And I covered for her last time because it was her 3 year old that was in the program.

I could go on and on not just with myself and the other co worker but others too.
So good pick up that I certainly dont hold this person in high regard.

 

[PollyannaMom]

(Note: Have only read first and last page.)

What a rotten policy! I would either pick a different week, or take the week and let her know you're willing to trade - list out some weeks that would work for you, and see what shuffling could be done. It might be that someone else took a week that would be your second choice, but it was a toss-up in their mind with another week that's still open, and they'd gladly switch.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Do you guys cover each other well when you are off? I can't imagine having this policy (12 people, only one off at a time) unless it's the type of atmosphere where the person takes off and when they return they have a pile of work that will take a month to catch up to. Is it a situation where someone has off and no one does proper coverage for the person off so patient care is compromised so having two people off would be detrimental?

About sick time....I work for a huge healthcare system. We have limits of call outs. Fifth time is a verbal, 6th is a written, 7th is suspension, 8th is termination or something like that. If we have the time we can call out. We don't have to give a reason and I never do when I call out (I've called out once in 3 years). I just text and say "I won't be in today." As long as you are within the policy and have the PTO there's nothing they can do. If you call out more than 3 days in a row you either need a doctor's note or you have to go see occupational health.

There was once when my old boss (she was a real you know what) told me I couldn't have off to take my DD to the doctor. I told her I would be calling out tomorrow. There was nothing she could do.

We've had people call out and then post pictures at the beach on FB. lol It's considered a "mental health day."

 

[maxiesmom]

OP Do whatever you think is best but never forget that what goes around comes back around. There could be a time where you are the mother of the groom or bride or someone very close to you is very ill and you need the time off. Sounds like you work in a volatile environment where it's every man for himself.

Agreed. That policy is ridiculous. And I have to say, I think only someone heartless would take that week of vacation, knowing it was her daughter's wedding. Goodness. I hope she does quit and you all can't find a decent replacement. How horrible.

 

[Vijoge]

How great of a job is this? Just curious if it's a "job" or a "career," meaning the MOB would seriously quit over it? I say this b/c I had a "job" once (as a bank teller) when I was in college, and they wouldn't let me have off for spring break, even though the dorms would be closed and I wouldn't have anywhere to stay, so I quit! LOL!! This was a very replaceable job though, so it wasn't a big deal.

In my current profession, I couldn't just fly off the handle like that, but then again, I couldn't imagine working in an environment with such a horrible vacation policy.

Assuming that it's not a replaceable job, and that nobody can quit b/c of the horrible vacation policy, I would not take that particular week out of courtesy to the MOB.

Not at all uncommon in the medical field. Nurses schedules often stink.