Work Moan

[T16GEM]

I have had a pig of a day, I ended up coming home at 11.30 from work as I couldn;t take it anymore, basically to cut a long story short since I told my employer that I am pregnant for the 2nd time they have been making my life hell. Today my line manager bought our new department manager round to introduce him to everyone and he met each person individually and they shook hands, had a little chat about them and which jobs they work on and how long they have been with the company etc, when they got to me I was on the phone (business call) and he just said "Oh that's Gemma" and that was it, no hand shake, no chat nothing, just that comment. I was so upset I feel like they don't like me anymore since I told them, also I don't know if I have said anything to you before about this, but since July none of my co-workers have spoken to me. Today I just got so upset that I couldn't stay there for the rest of the day so I decided to come home, DH was on his day off from work so he was here and Shelby gave me a big messy sloppy kiss and that made me feel better, but I guess that doesn't help the fact that I am effectively being bullied at work - but what do I do about it??

Sorry for moaning on. Gotta get it off my chest.

 

[wils]

What can I say

I know it is no consolation but my friend (also expecting for the 2nd time) is also having problems at work - she spoke to her boss on the phone to try and sort out why she was being ignored and she ended up being shouted at and told that she needn't bother coming to work any more - she was going in today unsure if she still had a job.

I am glad Shelby was available to provide comfort but I am just so sorry to hear you are going through this. People can be so unkind. No useful advise -has it been worse since you told them about baby-to-be? What do you do?

Feel free to PM me any time you want to moan about it - I'd rather that than your blood pressure increase.

 

[disneyangel]

What a bunch of mean spirited people.
I'd speak to Citizens advice about this. This must be harrassment of some kind or maybe even constructive dismissal. Try not to let it get to you too much. Your life at home is so much more important than work.

 

[Boo Boo Too]

That sounds AWFUL!

You have so much on (young, very cute baby and being prgenant again), that you want things to be "smooth" at work...

Is it possible that your Line Manager could have avoided lengthy introductions between the new Department Manager and you because you were on the phone? Just asking - sometimes (if people are feeling tired) they can take things out of context.

Do you have any friends at work? Are there people you can talk to and have fun with? Go out and have lunch with? Sounds like you need some support at work... Especially if you have a rough morning - you want to be able to go off to a meeting room (or somewhere) and bend someone's ear...

Regarding the new Department Manager, if I was you, I would put a brave face on it (although I probably wouldn't feel like it!) and go and find him tomorrow, introduce yourself ("Hi, I am Gemma. We didn't get a chance to chat much yesterday when you were going around the office, so I thought that I would come and introduce myself again and have a chat"...). That would make a great impression on him/her and sounds like it would be worth having this new person on side...

If you feel that you are being bullied at work, you need to get it addressed. In normal circumstances, I would suggest maybe looking for another job... but, obviously, you need to stay there for maternity leave...

The best thing to to try to address these things calmly and detachedly - I know that is hard, but it makes your complaints/problems that much more credible... Ideally arrange a meeting with your Line Manager to talk this through: just lay things (unemotionally) on the table, get things straightened out and plan a way forward. If you can't do that (because your relationship with him/her is so bad), then you need to either have a meeting with the next manager up the food chain (i.e. your Line Manager's superior) - that may be difficult and may stress your relationship with your Line Manager more - or someone in your personnel department (these may be easier, they are likely to be more relaxed...).

An "informal chat" with the Personnel Department MAY be the way to go anyway... Pregnant women have rights and EVERYBODY has the right NOT to be bullied - Personnel SHOULD take your concerns/complaints/worries very seriously... They may be able to suggest the best way to proceed in your case and in relation to your company.

You definitely need to get the situation addressed (whether people are bullying you intentionally or, in their ignorance, they are intentionally bullying you and making your life unpleasant) - it is important for you, your family and your unborn baby that you are happy

In the mean time, try to think about the really good things in your life (just to keep yourself happy): you have the cutest baby (love the photo in your signature), a husband ('fraid have no idea if he is cute too!) and lots of other great things I am sure...

Wishing you very good luck and let us know how you get on.

Boo

 

[Boo Boo Too]

I know it is no consolation but my friend (also expecting for the 2nd time) is also having problems at work - she spoke to her boss on the phone to try and sort out why she was being ignored and she ended up being shouted at and told that she needn't bother coming to work any more - she was going in today unsure if she still had a job.

That is illegal! Assuming your friend works for a structured company, she needs to pursue the issue with the personnel department and escalate up the food chain as required. Companies have legal requirements to pregnant women (whether they like it or not) and most companies are very aware of these (even if some idiots in some jobs are not...). IF she has no satisfaction from the personnel department and higher line management within the company, then go and seek advice from the citizens advice bureau. BUT keep going to work in the mean time - do not give them any grounds for fair dismissal... If they don't want you to work for them, then they have to give you written nottice (and not just say "don't bother turning up any more!"). If a company sacks (or may have sacked) a woman BECAUSE she is pregnant, then they are in deep do-do...

I am just totally shocked by all of this...

Boo

 

[Nubbedy]

Gemma, I am so sorry to hear this. What a terrible way to treat you and especially as you are pregnant. (Congratulations by the way - you have one beautiful little girl already!)

I agree that you need to speak to someone on a higher level eg other line manager, supervisor, personnel, or failing that do you have a union you could seek advice from - it often makes it easier to discuss issues with your boss if you know exactly where you stand.

I hope everything works itself out quickly. Most importantly, take care of yourself and don't let this affect your health and that of your baby.

Keep smilin',
Sara.

 

[Cyrano]

That is awful. Might be worth talking to personnel or your union rep.

 

[wils]

I am just totally shocked by all of this...
Boo

I know - it makes me so grateful that my male boss was so understanding even when I was signed off with 'morning' sickness

I refered my friend to the CAB as I was unsure of her rights - she has no written contract. It is a small shop with joint owners who have fallen out. My friend is perceived as being on the 'other' boss' side (who happens to be on holiday at the moment)

Worse than a school playground - I'll let you know what happens!

 

[jen_uk]

Some bosses just make you dont they!! I would definately have a word with HR or a manager who is above your boss.

 

[Boo Boo Too]

I know - it makes me so grateful that my male boss was so understanding even when I was signed off with 'morning' sickness

Know what you mean. The companies that I have worked for have been very good with employees' rights and pregnancy etc. I just think it is criminal for any company/person to treat a pregnant woman that way...

Bullies in the workplace must not be tolerated... they are not always aware that they are bullying, but - whatever - it must be stopped. As you say, this sort of thing should be left in the playground (although it has no place there either!).

I refered my friend to the CAB as I was unsure of her rights - she has no written contract. It is a small shop with joint owners who have fallen out. My friend is perceived as being on the 'other' boss' side (who happens to be on holiday at the moment)

Worse than a school playground - I'll let you know what happens!

You friend doesn't sound to be in a good position - written contacts are worth their weight in gold... It will be very interesting to hear how she gets on - I hope that she sorts it all out (sounds nasty)

Best Wishes
Boo

 

[mandymouse]

Oh Gemma, I'm so sorry to hear about their behaviour ~ I just want to send you lots of hugs

 

[natalielongstaff]

sorry to hear yiour have a hard gemma...its all you need at the moment.

sending lots of your way

 

[Minniespal]

Hope things improve for you Gems ~ Sending you some

 

[wils]

Hi Gems

How was your day? Any better?

It will be very interesting to hear how she gets on - I hope that she sorts it all out (sounds nasty)

My friend went into work and the boss said that she had wondered if she would see her again! My friend made a comment about being a glutton for punishment at which stage her boss apologised It seems that a junior member of staff had being telling tales (made up ones at that) about things my friend had 'said'

Luckily this job isn't what my friend wants to be doing long term but after this treatment she will quit when she is ready without feeling obliged to worry about how they will cope without her.

 

[Boo Boo Too]

My friend went into work and the boss said that she had wondered if she would see her again! My friend made a comment about being a glutton for punishment at which stage her boss apologised It seems that a junior member of staff had being telling tales (made up ones at that) about things my friend had 'said'

Thank goodness!

There can be mis-understanding, confusion, people telling porkies some times.... often if you "bite the bullet" and get things in the open, everything gets sorted out. Sounds incredibly unpleasant though

Luckily this job isn't what my friend wants to be doing long term but after this treatment she will quit when she is ready without feeling obliged to worry about how they will cope without her.

Very true. However do you get maternity benefits if you are not under a contract? Presumably not? I don't know. Hope that your friend is ok and looks after herself

Boo

 

[Deedee]

i was saying something like this to my Dh earlier. I told my present employers i was looking for another job i only work an hour and a half each day in a school but now my DD has left school i want more hours and more money. They don't seem so friendly any more and i have just asked for 2 weeks off for my holiday and they have said i may not be able to have it. Other girls i have worked with have had time off recently without a problem so why is it so different for them? I am going for an interview tomorrow so i really hope i can get it and leave them to it. sometimes it is if your face fits so don't worry you are not alone with this hope every thing works out.

 

[T16GEM]

Hi every one - this is the first chance i have had to get on the computer today! thanks so much for the kind words, I only work three days a week now anyway so today was my day off, and I am not back in until Monday.

I was thinking about going to the CAB about this as I don't really know what else to do, I know that our HR department wouldn't take it seriously as to be honest they are useless with anything beyond taking holiday bookings. I honestly don't think that I will get anywhere with having a talk with any line manager either. And the new Department Manager is going to be based in Manchester so I probably won't get to see him that much anyway. I would have introduced myself yesterday but was so incensed by the whole episode that I couldn't think straight.

Also at the moment I think I am incapable of having a constructive conversation with anyone as when I get angry I end up emotional (hormones) whereas usually I would turn into the hard faced cow and get on with it (since becoming a mommy I find that hard!) and not worry what they think.

I do have a couple of friends in the whole office who are very supportive but unfortunatley my best friend at work is off sick at the moment so I spent 20 minutes on the phone to her in the underground carpark yesterday!

Wils - I am a buyer for a large construction company - whos motto laughably is "to be the employer of first choice" - if you know the Richo arena they built that, and I am based their two days out of three - (another decision that I wasn't asked about whether I was ok with)

I shall let you all know how I get on on Monday, thanks again!

Gems

 

[T16GEM]

Wils - also meant to say that yes it's only been since I told them about the pregnancy. I also asked the manager that I told initially not to tell anyone else that I was pregnant - but guess what they told them all anyway, so much for confiding in your manager huh!

 

[Minniespal]

Hope you get it sorted our Gems

 

[wils]

Wils - I am a buyer for a large construction company - whos motto laughably is "to be the employer of first choice" - if you know the Richo arena they built that, and I am based their two days out of three - (another decision that I wasn't asked about whether I was ok with)

Gems - I am 5 minutes drive away from the Ricoh so I am PMing you my phone number now. Please do call if it gets too much and you want to pop over for a cuppa or lunch - If I'm at home you would be very welcome