Wondering about what expenses to cover for DS13's friend??

[WAHkoMom]

We are planning a trip to WDW, staying in a 2BR at AKV in August with my friend and her DD13. My DD is 15 and the girls get along great, but my DS13 *probably* won't want to be hitting the parks with the girls for a whole week. I also don't think he wants to hang out with me, his dad and my girlfriend, SO I asked him if he'd want to bring one of his friends. SHOCKER, yes he does!

So, here is my dilemma: When I speak to his friend's parents to invite their son, I am thinking I will offer to cover the room and food for the week, if they can pay for airfare and park tickets. I am basing this on what I would expect to pay for if someone offered to take my child on a trip to Disneyworld. (I am estimating that airfare will be between $300-$400 and a 7-day park hopper is about $400.)

Is that fair? Or should I offer to pay for everything except the airfare and see if they come back with a counter-offer?

(The last thread I found on this topic was back in 2012, so I'm looking for some "fresh" feedback. )

Thanks!

 

[Sandisw]

We have brought my DD 17 friend with us the last 3 years and she will be coming again this year. I have only asked that airfare be covered and paid the other expenses. The first two years, that is all that the parents took care of but sent me a very nice thank you gift when we got home. The third year, they actually sent an additional $200. We felt that since we asked her, we should cover most of the expenses and in the long run, it's been such a wonderful experience that its worth it.

Good luck!

 

[disfanforlife]

This is a touchy subject. But I do think if you invite your ds friend you need to be prepared to pay all of it. It would be nice if they offered to pay some of his expenses but not expected. We invited our sons friend with us and were willing to pay all. But felt funny and didn't know if we would offend them by asking or not asking. In the end his whole family joined us for the week and we had a great week together! They paid all of their expenses but stayed with us in our DVC villa. I think it worked out great for everyone!

 

[a742246]

If you are financially secure I would pay for everything. If you are not I think
paying for room and food is more than fair. I know if someone offered to take my child I would pay for his/her airline ticket, park ticket, and expense money.

 

[iheartdisney123]

I used to go with my friends family when I was in HS. They offered to pay for the room, flight and tickets. They asked my parents to pay for meals and spending money for the week. Which thankfully, my parents could afford

I think you should be prepared to pay for everything if you're inviting a friend incase the kids parents can't really afford to send them. It would be terrible for a kid to get invited to the most magical place on earth and the parents not be able to send them there.

 

[dbs1228]

My 3 DD's brought friends last year for NYE and we paid for lodging and all food eaten in the villa (big grocery shop) in my situation it was a lot easier since all my DD's are over 17 and their friends all have part time jobs so the kids themselves were able to pay for some. I think even before your DD's friend is asked (or told of the possibility) you should call the parents and bring up the "idea" of their child being invited to see if it is even okay or possible for the child to come. By saying "DD was wondering if it is even a possibility if your son could come to Disney with us, we have plenty of room and eat most meals in the villa" It is a tough one about money - Do you know the parents that well? If not I think I would feel them out and see where it goes. Good luck.

 

[gdrj]

It would be terrible for a kid to get invited to the most magical place on earth and the parents not be able to send them there.

Very true.

We asked for only airfare ($200) good sales at the time. We had friend of our Daughter's join us. At the time I didn't think about it but by having them pay for airfare prevents last minute cancellations and hard feelings (girls can be fickle). If they had cancelled due to some tragic bickering, her parents were out the money not me!

We also did the DP which worked out great, so we did not need to worry about meals. The kids could QS for lunch and we had ADR's for most dinners.

 

[WAHkoMom]

Wow, thanks for all the quick responses!

I agree that I don't want to put anyone in an awkward position - the whole idea is that I want all the kids to have fun on our trip, but not spend more than I can afford, nor guilt our friends into spending more than they are comfortable with.

I'm going to keep thinking/strategizing and see what other responses come in. But I think I'm leaning towards offering to pay for everything.

 

[Snurk71]

If DD13 ever gets a friend that can go with us, we're planning on asking for airfare coverage only. We figure if we were vacationing anywhere else we would normally pick up the cost of food and entertainment. So that's what we're planning for WDW.

I will say that if we thought a friends family might have trouble with the airfare, we would cover that. We know a few of DDs friends wouldn't consider $300 much of a hardship though.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-Note2 using DISBoards

 

[WAHkoMom]

Oh, and I just spoke to my DS and told him not to mention anything to his friend about the trip, because I want to speak to his parents first.

 

[nugov2]

I would pay for all of it if it was me. I look at it like a gift to your ds to make his trip more enjoyable. What if they cannot afford airfare and park tickets...it could be weird. I would offer to pay for it all and if they want to pay for some of it accept their offer. Growing up my brother was 5 yrs older, so when he went away to college my parents always let me bring a friend on our vacations throughout the year and paid for all of it.

 

[lovin'fl]

My DS brought friends on 2 cruises with us. The first friend/cruise I asked the parents to pay a certain amount (not the whole thing...we drove to cruise port and paid for meals and lodging along the way and back...we asked for some of cruise cost and one excursion that was $200pp...I think we asked for @ $400). I knew they could afford it. Then, I posted this same question on CC (message board) when we were planning the next cruise (that friend's parents could not as easily afford to pay). I got mostly 'pay everything since you are inviting the kid' responses...so we didn't ask for any money (just told him to bring spending money and money for a soda card if he wanted to get one...his parents ended up sending money to cover his and my 3 kids' soda cards...that was really nice). We drove to that port too and it was close enough that we didn't need any lodging.

We thought about bringing a friend for DS when we do our WDW trips (our DDs are twins and have each other...DS has nobody to hang with), but we'd have to pay a lot for that (flight and park tickets...plus we do 1 TS and 1 CS each day...would really add up. We have DVC so the room isn't any extra). I think now we'll just leave DS home (he is turning 17 this month, so I think it's time to stop forcing him to come with us).

If any of my kids were asked to go to WDW or on a cruise (or some other vacation), I'd offer to pay their part. I look at it like a school field trip...which we pay for and pay a lot sometimes (those bus rides are pretty expensive....LOL).

So, OP...maybe you could type up a cost sheet and offer to split the costs if you think they can swing it. Put cost of park tickets...flight cost...maybe put DP cost (not sure if you'll get DP, but will give you an idea of meal costs). It's looking like @ $1100-1200. If you know they might not be able to swing it...maybe you could just ask for airfare cost.

 

[JWG]

I took a friend as a sophomore in HS, he paid for his tickets, food if we weren't with my parents and anything we wanted to do/buy. My parents covered travel (we drove) and hotel.

It was costly for me as I had to buy my own tickets if I wanted to bring a friend.

We now have a DD (7). We're waiting for the day she wants to bring a friend. With Disney's new policy about being 14 to be unaccompanied, we're not sure when we'll allow friends. We've agreed we'll cover many of the expenses as out DD is an only, so we feel we'll need to allow the friend to come at some point.

 

[kid-at-heart]

It depends on what you can afford.

For us, we pay everything except airfare. We figure if the child's family pays the airfare and then the child decides not to go with us, we have not lost any money. I am not sure now with magic bands and linking tickets to the bands if that is going to change how we feel about paying for park tickets.

Kate

 

[twinsouvenirs]

I do agree it is nice to have the kid 'vested' by having the parents pay airfare.

 

[LSchrow]

i think asking the parents to pay airfare & pass price, with you covering room & meals, is perfect.
consider what will happen when each wants to bring a friend - i wouldn't want to set a precedent that i might not be able to do for other friends.

many parents would look at your offer as an opportunity to make their child save up also

 

[mcraige]

We've invited DD's BFF to go with us several times on vacation. Every time, we offered to pay for everything, but the BFF's family insisted on paying something, so we negotiated a small amount ($200 or so).

My belief is if my family invites someone to go as our guest, then we are prepared to pay. If the guest offers some amount of money, then great! If not, that's fine too.

 

[lisatx04]

We invited DD BFF to go with us 2 years ago. We asked that her parents pay airfare and tickets into the parks and that we would pay for everything else. They gladly agreed. It was a great trip!

 

[crisi]

What you can afford, what they can afford, and what they offer.

I'd likely go into the invitation either with what you expect from them upfront (airfare at $400, $400 in park tickets, we will take care of the room and meals - oh, if he needs any spending money...) to make it work for you financially or with the intention of paying everything (and only if that works for you), and then use "we will pay everything except if he wants some spending money" as the starting point. Some parents will INSIST on paying for something, and if you sort of have a feeling for their financial situation you can gauge whether to offer up park tickets or airfare or both. Some won't offer (and some who don't offer will never do anything for your kid - some who don't offer will reciprocate with concert tickets or a different trip).

 

[morgan729]

I had a similar trip last summer with my kids. My two younger ones have autism, so I was already paying for everything for their teacher to go with us to help corral them ( I'm a widow, and hopelessly outnumbered). I already had a 2br condo so the teacher would have her own room, I already had a minivan rental car to accommodate my family plus the teacher, and I knew my then 14 yr old DD would have a MUCH better time with a friend with her. In my case, it's a clearly known fact that her friend's family has significantly more financial resources than I have, so I asked them to buy her airfare and park tickets ( which I got at a significant discount through a YES program), and I offered to feed her, house her, and supervise her. They were happy to do so, especially since she is their youngest child, they'd last been to WDW when she was a baby, and they really didn't want to go again. They actually sent extra $$ for meals and her souvenirs. I pretty much paid for all of her food anyway except snacks ( and extra Dole Whip stops) that the girls bought when they were on their own. She had money left over from her meals and her souvenirs. It worked even better than I had imagined for everyone. The other parents were thrilled for their child to go and them not have to go; the friend actually REALLY wanted to meet Mickey, my DD had a fabulous time with her friend, the other kid actually was super tolerant of my two with autism, and DS 8 had such a crush on the friend that he wanted to ride with the older girls most of the time, which prevented the " ride with mommy" fight we usually have on rides where only two can sit together. Absolutely go for it; I think it's one thing to pay for my DD's friends if we invite them to the movies, or out to eat, or even to a concert. It's entirely another to spend $1000 for someone else's child. And certainly it's way less expensive for parents to just pay for their child than for them to take their entire family.