with all these mil vents, I've started taking notes!

[Nancyg56]

What a lucky lady your DIL is!!!

I thank you for the compliment, but I think that I am the lucky one. She came from a small family without close ties so we were a strange bunch. It took a little while for her to realize that we had no interest in coming between her and my DS, even it were possible, and indeed it was not. It took time for her to believe that there were no hidden meanings when we talked, and that DH and I meant it when we told her that we loved her and that she is now the daughter of our hearts. She is the one who chose to accept us for what we were, accept that my DD and DS have a relationship that has always been special, but that it does not diminish the relationship she shares with my son. It only enhances it because my son does not have to choose between us and her.

we are looking forward to Thanksgiving Day because she is coming home for a few days. My DS cannot get the time off and she would have been alone. The same for Christmas. She will celebrate with us for a few days and go home to be with my son Christmas night. She would never have suggested this, but my DD called my DS and told him tht she was "longing" for us. I miss my son with all my heart, but look forward to enjoying my DIL for a little while at least.

I know so many young women who feel that a relationship with their spouses family diminishes the relationship with their own and I find that sad. My nephew's wife has ignored my DSIL and DB since before the marriage and basically gave them an ultimatum. My nephew is in a terrible place right now because he is always hearing terrible things about his mother and Dad as well as most of the rest of the family that he has loved all his life. My brother and SIL are devestated.

If I could, I would just tell young brides to please cut a little slack with their MIL's for a while at least. I wish I had when I first married. It is a double edged sword to entrust your son to another. You want the best for them and you want to love her but you also know that it will never be the same for you. It is the way it is supposed to be and all that you wished for, but there is a little mourning for the little boy who always said that he would love you best. It sometimes takes a little while to realize that your family has become stronger and that you have a wonderful new person to love. JI would say to just give his Mom time if you love her son.