Will TarzansKat meet Captain Jack? ~A Pirate's Life for 3 Pre-Trippie~ We're back!

[Lady Lallie]

Thanks. I think they'll arrive on Tuesday so I'll keep you guys posted.

Any luck with Old Navy?

 

[TarzansKat]

Any luck with Old Navy?

Saw some cute stuff, but I'm all shopped out. Hope you had a good night!

 

[TarzansKat]

Hi guys,

Not necessarily trip report related...well sort of in that if I made more money, we could easily afford Disney every year instead of scraping together from various places, etc, etc, ad naseum.

Anyhoo!

I have an interview tomorrow at 900am for the 30 hour position that's five minutes from my apartment.

I've debated and debated. I need to just go do the interview. Maybe I'll hate the branch. Maybe they won't be the type of people I want to work for. Or maybe I'll love it.

I have two possible scenarios in my head.

Like the people, get offered the job, take the job. Put DS in daycare/preschool program two days a week, have my dad watch him here one day, bring him to mom the other day. Saturdays are a none issue, DH is home.

Don't like the people, don't take the job. Continue where I am, put DS in daycare/preschool program one day a week closer to home instead of my mom's town. Bring him to mom one day, ask dad to come the other day, DH home on Saturday.

I like both scenarios depending on how I feel. The preschool in my mom's town is two days a week, and is the cheapest option but he has to be potty trained to go. My mom has been putting on HUGE pressure for him to train. He resists...big time. It's turning into a power struggle and I think the more we push him, the less he'll do it. Everything with three year olds is about what they can get away with but I absolutely refuse to reduce this kid to tears every time he's trying to go just because I want him to do it and he's not ready. It's getting ridiculous. I love my family, but I am so sick of my day to day routine. For the past two and half years, three days a week, I wake up early enough to get us ready/sometimes work out and make it to my mother's house. Drop off DS, go to work. Work. Go to mom's house, if DS is still napping, I have to wait for him to wake up. Get ready to leave. Leave. Go home. Some nights, even though I only work until 330 or 300, I don't see my house before 530. I'm exhausted and I'm tired of it and I want a different routine. If I continue this way I'll either quit or drop from exhaustion. Something has got to give and I don't know how to make any thing work anymore. If I continue at this job in my current branch, and put him in daycare one day a week close to me, it gives me that convenience, but it'll halve my salary. Which a portion of would have gone to preschool anyway so six to one a half a dozen to the other.

Oh, guys. I don't know what to do at all.

I need to figure out what to wear to my interview tomorrow. Speaking of which, for someone who doesn't like math, I've run the numbers every which way, taking out daycare costs, healthcare, comparing one day, two days, full time, blah, blah blah. Even if he goes to day care two days a week, with the full time job, because of how much less we'd drive, I'd still have a possible gain of $1368.46 a year. I don't even want that money for Disney :::GASP::: did I just say that??? I just want to be able to live comfortably. I'm so sick of budgeting.

Ugh.

Thanks for listening to the rant. I love you guys.

 

[Princesskeyblade]

I have an interview tomorrow at 900am for the 30 hour position that's five minutes from my apartment.

I've debated and debated. I need to just go do the interview. Maybe I'll hate the branch. Maybe they won't be the type of people I want to work for. Or maybe I'll love it.

Good luck tomorow TK!! I am sending good vibes your way

I have two possible scenarios in my head.

Like the people, get offered the job, take the job. Put DS in daycare/preschool program two days a week, have my dad watch him here one day, bring him to mom the other day. Saturdays are a none issue, DH is home.

Don't like the people, don't take the job. Continue where I am, put DS in daycare/preschool program one day a week closer to home instead of my mom's town. Bring him to mom one day, ask dad to come the other day, DH home on Saturday.

I like both scenarios depending on how I feel. The preschool in my mom's town is two days a week, and is the cheapest option but he has to be potty trained to go. My mom has been putting on HUGE pressure for him to train. He resists...big time. It's turning into a power struggle and I think the more we push him, the less he'll do it. Everything with three year olds is about what they can get away with but I absolutely refuse to reduce this kid to tears every time he's trying to go just because I want him to do it and he's not ready. It's getting ridiculous. I love my family, but I am so sick of my day to day routine. For the past two and half years, three days a week, I wake up early enough to get us ready/sometimes work out and make it to my mother's house. Drop off DS, go to work. Work. Go to mom's house, if DS is still napping, I have to wait for him to wake up. Get ready to leave. Leave. Go home. Some nights, even though I only work until 330 or 300, I don't see my house before 530. I'm exhausted and I'm tired of it and I want a different routine. If I continue this way I'll either quit or drop from exhaustion. Something has got to give and I don't know how to make any thing work anymore. If I continue at this job in my current branch, and put him in daycare one day a week close to me, it gives me that convenience, but it'll halve my salary. Which a portion of would have gone to preschool anyway so six to one a half a dozen to the other.

I think both are great! I agree with you that you can not continue running around as you are right now... you are going to wear yourself out...

Oh, guys. I don't know what to do at all.

Go with your gut. Go on the interview. Gage the people and if you like them and you are offered, take the job.

Thanks for listening to the rant. I love you guys.

We are always here to listen TK.

BTW... I was driving to work this morning and thought of you because I had the POTC soundtracks on...

 

[Lady Lallie]

I think it's a great thing for you to go to this interview. Even if things stay the same, I think you will feel better about everything.
I wish you lots of luck and hope that everything will work out to make life just a bit easier for the TK Family.

 

[TarzansKat]

Good luck tomorow TK!! I am sending good vibes your way

Thank you! I haven't even told my parents about the interview. My mom and nana were sooooooooo not supportive of this at all. Haven't really talked to dad about it, we keep passing like ships in the night. DH will stay home with DS and go into work late, so we're keeping it on the down low.

I think both are great! I agree with you that you can not continue running around as you are right now... you are going to wear yourself out...

Wow. I'm just so amazed that someone who's removed from my daily situation actually agrees with me. I feel like a big whiner, you know what I mean? I'm just tired of this, and it was never supposed to be permanent. I only got this job so we would have health insurance, and DH's employer won't provide it. Sometimes, I really, really despise that job. He has to take vacation when they tell him, they put up a HUGE fuss when we want to go away in September and tell him no, they do pay somewhat well, but won't help with insurance except to pay half of his cost, not us as a family, and he gets no sick time. Ugh.

Go with your gut. Go on the interview. Gage the people and if you like them and you are offered, take the job.

If I didn't go, I'd always wonder.

We are always here to listen TK.

Thank you. I am sooooooo overwhelmed right now. I just had to pay three medical bills because in June we still haven't hit our deductible yet.

BTW... I was driving to work this morning and thought of you because I had the POTC soundtracks on...

I love the POTC soundtracks on the way to work! It makes me feel adventurous, and like I don't work at a bank for a living!

I think it's a great thing for you to go to this interview. Even if things stay the same, I think you will feel better about everything.
I wish you lots of luck and hope that everything will work out to make life just a bit easier for the TK Family.

Thank you, LL. Maybe going on this interview, even if I don't take the job, will give me a greater appreciation for what I have.

 

[Princesskeyblade]

Thank you! I haven't even told my parents about the interview. My mom and nana were sooooooooo not supportive of this at all. Haven't really talked to dad about it, we keep passing like ships in the night. DH will stay home with DS and go into work late, so we're keeping it on the down low.

Sometimes change is hard for grandparents who get to see their grandkids all the time.

Wow. I'm just so amazed that someone who's removed from my daily situation actually agrees with me. I feel like a big whiner, you know what I mean? I'm just tired of this, and it was never supposed to be permanent.

You are not a whiner. Vent away!

Before I moved closer to my job I was running myself ragged by traveling 2 hours in and 2 hours home. And now my commute is cut in more than half. I really ran myself thin when I would have that really long commute, and I was misrible. Trust me, the shortened commute would be a wonderful welcome change for you and if you weren't running around, that would be so much better for you. And if you had to travel to your parent's house once a week, it would not wear you out as much.

 

[Lady Lallie]

Wow. I'm just so amazed that someone who's removed from my daily situation actually agrees with me. I feel like a big whiner, you know what I mean? I'm just tired of this, and it was never supposed to be permanent. I only got this job so we would have health insurance, and DH's employer won't provide it. Sometimes, I really, really despise that job. He has to take vacation when they tell him, they put up a HUGE fuss when we want to go away in September and tell him no, they do pay somewhat well, but won't help with insurance except to pay half of his cost, not us as a family, and he gets no sick time. Ugh.

Wow, DH really does have a lack of benefits!! That's scary. Does DH get paid vacation time for September? Or is it without pay? It stinks that it is dictated to him when to take vacation.
I know how you feel about being a whiner, I feel like I have been lately as well about the wedding. I have been having my own benefit drama today! Grrr. I signed up for Short Term Disability and Accident Insurance through AFLAC. Preparing for when DF and I have a baby, so that I will paid while I am out on maternity leave. While, it was supposed to be effective May 1st, I checked my pay stub and nothing has be deducted yet! Luckily, HR is really friendly and helping me get it all sorted out plus sending me the "marriage packet" so I can get my name changed. Just one more thing to deal with!

Thank you, LL. Maybe going on this interview, even if I don't take the job, will give me a greater appreciation for what I have.

I think it will help. I know in the past, I have gone on intervies when I wasn't happy at the current job and afterwards, I realized that I didn't have it so bad. I think it's a great thing that you are going. Also, know that we are always hear for you! I don't think I would make it through the wedding if it wasn't for you wonderful gals!

 

[TarzansKat]

Sometimes change is hard for grandparents who get to see their grandkids all the time.

We won't even get into the control issues...I love my family, and currently they see me three times a week. I'm talking about taking it down to one. I understand they'll be sad, but don't you want your kids to be comfortable and not living paycheck to paycheck? Ugh, vent over.

You are not a whiner. Vent away!

Before I moved closer to my job I was running myself ragged by traveling 2 hours in and 2 hours home. And now my commute is cut in more than half. I really ran myself thin when I would have that really long commute, and I was misrible. Trust me, the shortened commute would be a wonderful welcome change for you and if you weren't running around, that would be so much better for you. And if you had to travel to your parent's house once a week, it would not wear you out as much.

Four hours of travel time a day sounds ridiculous to me. You must have been soooooo exhausted. I'm glad you don't do that anymore! One of the bonuses to my being so close is when we have bad weather. It'll only take me five minutes to get there, and if DS is in day care here and it's closed, so be it, but if it's open, again, in close proximity instead of days when we have snowstorms, and I drive to my mother's in horrible conditions, and the bank actually closes early, and then instead of it taking me 20 minutes to get home it takes me over an hour.

Wow, DH really does have a lack of benefits!! That's scary. Does DH get paid vacation time for September? Or is it without pay?

It's without pay. I actually have to budget for it, since we know they won't pay him. And that day he stayed out of work during Pukefest 2008, no pay. The only weeks he gets paid for are when they close the shop, the week of July 4th, and the week of Christmas to New Years. Last year, they didn't have any plans July 4th, but DH's co-worker said, oh, I'm going to go away with my mom for the weekend. DH wanted to work, but the closed because one of them had vacation plans. What I want to know is, if DH is to darn important, why don't they close the shop when we go and throw us a freakin' bone, Mr. Bigglesworth!!!

It stinks that it is dictated to him when to take vacation.
I know how you feel about being a whiner, I feel like I have been lately as well about the wedding. I have been having my own benefit drama today! Grrr. I signed up for Short Term Disability and Accident Insurance through AFLAC. Preparing for when DF and I have a baby, so that I will paid while I am out on maternity leave. While, it was supposed to be effective May 1st, I checked my pay stub and nothing has be deducted yet! Luckily, HR is really friendly and helping me get it all sorted out plus sending me the "marriage packet" so I can get my name changed. Just one more thing to deal with!
I think it will help. I know in the past, I have gone on intervies when I wasn't happy at the current job and afterwards, I realized that I didn't have it so bad. I think it's a great thing that you are going. Also, know that we are always hear for you! I don't think I would make it through the wedding if it wasn't for you wonderful gals!

You're not a whiner. You have normal bridal wedding angst. Makes us all wish we had eloped. PKB, taking notes?

 

[Princesskeyblade]

Four hours of travel time a day sounds ridiculous to me. You must have been soooooo exhausted. I'm glad you don't do that anymore! One of the bonuses to my being so close is when we have bad weather. It'll only take me five minutes to get there, and if DS is in day care here and it's closed, so be it, but if it's open, again, in close proximity instead of days when we have snowstorms, and I drive to my mother's in horrible conditions, and the bank actually closes early, and then instead of it taking me 20 minutes to get home it takes me over an hour.

It was brutal... Honestly I get paid well (It used to be better with gas down at 2.50. ) So I put the miles on my car.

You're not a whiner. You have normal bridal wedding angst. Makes us all wish we had eloped. PKB, taking notes?

I agree...

And no dice... The DBF wants to have a huge party! His rationale: they told him 5 years ago that he had 25% chance of survival and he thought he would never make it to his wedding day. So everyone being there is very important to him... and to me too but moreso to him.

Besides... then no one would win the "How long into the ceremony til DBF's dad cries?" and I have a good spread of time!

 

[TarzansKat]

It was brutal... Honestly I get paid well (It used to be better with gas down at 2.50. ) So I put the miles on my car.

That's good. Being well-compensated for your time makes all the difference in the world, eh? Problem is...shockngly enough...even though I enjoy my job, I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about it. Surprised? I know I could be doing soooooooo much better. I'm intelligent, creative, and I used to pull down a lot more money doing different things. I love, love, love my family. And I say this in the best possible way...I feel so trapped. It's very frustrating. I'm at the point where even though I enjoy the social interaction, I think, why am I doing this? Which also makes me wonder why I want to work more...ugh...

I agree...

And no dice... The DBF wants to have a huge party! His rationale: they told him 5 years ago that he had 25% chance of survival and he thought he would never make it to his wedding day. So everyone being there is very important to him... and to me too but moreso to him.

Besides... then no one would win the "How long into the ceremony til DBF's dad cries?" and I have a good spread of time!

You know what, good for you guys! What with all the health issues, you deserve a big celebration of the two of you. In this case, I agree.

 

[Princesskeyblade]

You know what, good for you guys! What with all the health issues, you deserve a big celebration of the two of you. In this case, I agree.

Yeah.. With lots of food and dancing!

And I would be happy to share my winnings with the gals as we all enjoy a girls night out with the first round on me ....

 

[TarzansKat]

Yeah.. With lots of food and dancing!

And I would be happy to share my winnings with the gals as we all enjoy a girls night out with the first round on me ....

Mmmm...Lapu Lapu anyone?

 

[Princesskeyblade]

Mmmm...Lapu Lapu anyone?

Hey I could probibly get a round of those with my winnings and another one for me

 

[Lady Lallie]

Apparently I missed the party while I was at lunch!

I fully endorse eloping but understand why people want big celebrations, I just happen to NOT be one of those people.

TK --- I think the frustration you feel is what a lot of mother's go through. I understand how frustrating it can be. I don't even have kids yet but the thought of juggling everything and making the working/staying at home actually work for the family is overwhelming. It will get better, LL promises!

 

[Lady Lallie]

Speaking of Lapu Lapu's. I posted to ask what the ingredients are and no one has been able to confirm or deny whether vodka is present. Most seem to think it's rum. I guess I could just ask for no vodka, that way I can partake in the Fabby Fest after the first Lapu Lapu.

 

[TarzansKat]

Apparently I missed the party while I was at lunch!

I fully endorse eloping but understand why people want big celebrations, I just happen to NOT be one of those people.

TK --- I think the frustration you feel is what a lot of mother's go through. I understand how frustrating it can be. I don't even have kids yet but the thought of juggling everything and making the working/staying at home actually work for the family is overwhelming. It will get better, LL promises!

Thanks. It is hard. Part of me wants to quit and stay home with him full time so I can enjoy him. I feel he needs me now more than he ever did when he was a baby. Toddlers need so much love and attention and reassurance and discipline...and when mom and I don't agree...ugh.

Then part of me wants to work more because the benefits would be so much better. I've also thought of a third scenario, in which we put off preschool for a year, ask my mom for three days, and dad for one day. In this scenario, I would ask DH to do Mon & Tues completely, drop off and pick up. I know it would be a lot for him, but it has been a lot for me. As long as the weather's not bad, mom will drop him off to us on Thursday after his nap as long as we bring him there in the morning, and Dad would take Fridays. In this scenario, I'd double my salary, with a gain of almost $5000 a year. That's $5000 that can sit in a high yield savings so we don't have to figure out how to pay for daycare/preschool the next year, kwim?

It does however, leave me totally at the mercy of my lovely parents and all the guilt that entails. Again, very grateful, but any time they need help with something, we get the guilt. Well, I shouldn't say they...it's more mom, god bless her. It would be nice to be on our own and not so enmeshed. But if I'm only doing one pick up a week, and we have all those benefits is it worth it? Just another thought. What do you guys think?

Speaking of Lapu Lapu's. I posted to ask what the ingredients are and no one has been able to confirm or deny whether vodka is present. Most seem to think it's rum. I guess I could just ask for no vodka, that way I can partake in the Fabby Fest after the first Lapu Lapu.

I don't remember vodka being one of the ingredients. I thought it was several types of rum, and some other flavored liquors. I'm sure they'll be happy to accomodate if you ask, our bartender was very friendly.

 

[Lady Lallie]

Thanks. It is hard. Part of me wants to quit and stay home with him full time so I can enjoy him. I feel he needs me now more than he ever did when he was a baby. Toddlers need so much love and attention and reassurance and discipline...and when mom and I don't agree...ugh.

Then part of me wants to work more because the benefits would be so much better. I've also thought of a third scenario, in which we put off preschool for a year, ask my mom for three days, and dad for one day. In this scenario, I would ask DH to do Mon & Tues completely, drop off and pick up. I know it would be a lot for him, but it has been a lot for me. As long as the weather's not bad, mom will drop him off to us on Thursday after his nap as long as we bring him there in the morning, and Dad would take Fridays. In this scenario, I'd double my salary, with a gain of almost $5000 a year. That's $5000 that can sit in a high yield savings so we don't have to figure out how to pay for daycare/preschool the next year, kwim?

It does however, leave me totally at the mercy of my lovely parents and all the guilt that entails. Again, very grateful, but any time they need help with something, we get the guilt. Well, I shouldn't say they...it's more mom, god bless her. It would be nice to be on our own and not so enmeshed. But if I'm only doing one pick up a week, and we have all those benefits is it worth it? Just another thought. What do you guys think?

I totally understand where you are coming from with the guilt factor. We don't even have children and DF's mom just expects him to help her with things. She had the guts to ask him if he would mow her lawn for her since his brother (WHO LIVES WITH HER) wouldn't do it. Not that DF minds helping, but he doesn't even live there and it's a ride on lawn mower so it's not like it's a tough job. If she does the littlest thing for us, we owe her big time. That is why everytime she offers to watch our future children for us one day a week, it makes me cringe.
As far as all your working options, I just don't know what to tell you. It's a hard balance to reach. I think you should just turn off your brain until after your interview and see what happens. I think you are going to drive yourself crazy thinking of all these different scenarios.

I don't remember vodka being one of the ingredients. I thought it was several types of rum, and some other flavored liquors. I'm sure they'll be happy to accomodate if you ask, our bartender was very friendly.

I think that is what I will do, no vodka for LL!

 

[TarzansKat]

I totally understand where you are coming from with the guilt factor. We don't even have children and DF's mom just expects him to help her with things. She had the guts to ask him if he would mow her lawn for her since his brother (WHO LIVES WITH HER) wouldn't do it. Not that DF minds helping, but he doesn't even live there and it's a ride on lawn mower so it's not like it's a tough job. If she does the littlest thing for us, we owe her big time. That is why everytime she offers to watch our future children for us one day a week, it makes me cringe.
As far as all your working options, I just don't know what to tell you. It's a hard balance to reach. I think you should just turn off your brain until after your interview and see what happens. I think you are going to drive yourself crazy thinking of all these different scenarios.

You're right. It's exhausting and makes me want to eat a huge bowl of ice cream...hmmm....thereby negating my morning workout. Ah, an exercise in futility. I'll try to resist...but the force is strong with my frozen yogurt....yum, yum.

I think that is what I will do, no vodka for LL!

Let's talk about Lapu Lapu Fabby Fest 2009 some more shall we?

Yesterday or the day before, not sure...I told DH. Told him I would go alone or he could come. Explained the whole process, who was going, etc. The man was not phased. I believe he has come to accept the obsession...and I think he's starting to see that you all are my friends. My internet buds.

 

[Lady Lallie]

Let's talk about Lapu Lapu Fabby Fest 2009 some more shall we?

It's my new favorite thing to obsess over!

Yesterday or the day before, not sure...I told DH. Told him I would go alone or he could come. Explained the whole process, who was going, etc. The man was not phased. I believe he has come to accept the obsession...and I think he's starting to see that you all are my friends. My internet buds.

That's cute that he was not phased. DF keeps asking me what the Fabby Fest will entail. I told him all I was sure of was Lapu Lapu's!